Our Island Family Life

The kids did all the editing and it's pretty good for elementary students. Sofie and Cade are funny in it. Even Connor spoke! Then the kids showed videos of their knowledge of the scientific method. I added a link below of Cade's video.

Video of Cade's Taste Test experiment

They did a little skit promoting our new fundraising for next year. Then came awards. Cade got a geography award and later on they pop quizzed him onstage and he answered everything even though he didn't know they were going to do that. He then asked if they wanted facts to go with the maps they asked him to name. That got a laugh. He got his graduation certificate, presents from the PTC and a memory book from his classmates. Then it was time for cake! Sean didn't come. He knows this is Cade's last year at this school. He never asked about coming. So...

I will post more pictures of the day later...:)

Cade's Graduation Speech

The lawyer. It will be $3500 to hire him. My visit there yesterday he didn't charge me for which was really nice. This is what we did. He read Sean's papers to modify the divorce. We went over the points of it with my responses. Then he sat back and shook his head. This is basically more of the same stuff Sean argued the first time. Some of it was contradicting and overstated. He was very confused how Sean could say he was fine mentally and still be drawing disability for mood disorder. I had no answer. The lawyer has a brother with bipolar and noted much of the same thinking issues going on. Sean does NOT have a lawyer. I guess he thinks because he is a debate coach he will have no problems arguing his points in court. Okay. So the lawyer suggested co-parenting counseling again. I told him I wasn't adverse to it and explained why the sessions we did have ended before. Sean's, lack of commitment to attend even though he said he wanted to be there and the fact he would agree to something then do what he wanted anyway which led is us having to resolve issues in therapy instead of learning and implementing tools to do this ourselves. He said most likely what would happen anyway in court would be a judge ordering us to do therapy anyway and then maybe high conflict resolution mediation, another GAL and then a final court date. He said once I retain him he would draft a response to Sean's complaint then attach the name of the guy he recommends we should see for therapy and see what Sean does. If Sean says no then it will just be another nail in the coffin for him showing how he doesn't want to resolve this in another way. Next week I think I am going to call the guy. The lawyer is going to see the guy anyway today and tell him about us an that we might call. The guy does all kinds of different therapies. Individual (which is why I am going to call, even if Sean says no I know I will need some help through this), family and men's counseling. He does a lot of work with abusive men which Sean is, even if it's not all physical. Then I need to go the main IRS branch and get copies of all the paperwork so we can get Sean to pay what he owes. I also need to go to the dental office next Wednesday so I will get a copy of everything and get a written statement that they submitted the bill for last September and what happened to it. I got a letter in the mail from DHHS on Tuesday. It was a copy of the papers sent to Sean telling him he needed to pay right away this week and that they were in the process of taking all his licences. His drivers licence and any teaching ones he might have. The lawyer noted that as well. So....what to do, what to do?

Good news first...I passed my practical exam! Whoot!

It was nerve wracking and time seemed to fly or stand still. Everyone there was a little freaked and jumpy. Our instructor Ryan broke out in hives and he wasn't even TAKING the test. He was just worried for us to do well. Kinda cute of him. There was a ton of testers there. Bright side was we knew most of them. That helped relax us a little even though we knew they wouldn't help us at all. Out of the six stations I got four perfect and the other two I missed one thing on each but nothing critical and I will know on Sunday what my point score was. Our whole class passed and we are having a cook out party on Sunday with some of the instructors. So, no more classes. What's next is to take the national exam which is a sit down at a computer test in the city. We have to wait a few days to have our grades put in the system to be eligible to take it, then we can make an appointment to go and take it. I think I will try and car pool with someone from here when ever I am able to take it. After that I will be nationally certified. Wow. On one test I had to put a 6 foot something at least 200 pound guy on a backboard by myself! I did have one person making sure the "patient's" head was stable but the rest was all me. I nearly croaked when I pulled that card. I still need to practice stuff to feel comfortable of course and I will have to go on ambulance rides three times a year or so for practice. Still, with everything going on I can't believe I was able to focus to do this. Something to be proud of.

Next, so then, why so grumpy? I started, if you know what I mean, yesterday. Nice timing, no? The test and grading didn't end until after 10pm. Then I was wired when I got home and read for about half and hour before falling asleep. I slept great and could have slept longer but Sofie woke me up. I didn't even hear her which is not normal for me. When I got home last night I saw she wasn't in bed. I looked around wondering what was going on. I found her curled up against Connor sleeping with him. It was so adorable. Connor and Sofie love each other but quite frequently butt heads. Sofie snaps at him a lot and he gets sad. Lately she has been seeking him out for hugs and cries when he goes away just like she does for Will and Cade. I can see how much it means to Connor to finally have her attention. Continuing the grumpy trend is the fact I spent all morning sifting through emails between Sean and myself for the past year and a half. I grouped them into categories: dental, visits, witch (proof I was concerned about her saying that and informing him about it), Connor school/mental care, taxes and stealing (Cade's current issue with his dad). Those are in order now and I am going to print those out this afternoon once the kids wake from their naps to bring with me to the lawyer tomorrow. I am going to make a list later of places I have to go and other papers I need to gather up. A record from DHHS concerning Sean's child support payments, copies of dental bills, copy of the IRS paper for proof of what they took from me, copies of Connor's therapy and diagnoses for mood disorder. I have one from his first pdoc but not from the second. I also need statements from them saying I have not wished to have Connor put on meds unless it was a last resort. Sean is claiming I only took Connor to a pdoc and that I asked to have him medicated because Connor was wishing to see Sean and expressed his dissent with me. Uh...no. I have told Sean this but he says he questions my motives. *sigh* Oh, and yesterday I got a call from the counselor's office confirming an appointment for today. I was totally confused since Cade goes tomorrow and Wednesday of NEXT week. They lady I talked to didn't know why it was there either and so we canceled it. Later in the day Cade's counselor called and told me Sean was coming in to see her to "give his side of the story" and that I might get a call. I told her I had but we hung up before I remember that was canceled. Oops. I would have called back but I had to run out the door to the hall for my test. I hope they figured it out. Either way, I need to tell Cade his dad is talking to his counselor now. That will be a fun conversation.

You would think now that I don't have any more classes and don't have to study as much ( I still do for the big national exam) I would have more free time. However, I will be working at the library now and cleaning two houses starting this weekend. Cade's graduation is this Friday so it will be a busy day. I have a lot of shopping to do tomorrow as well. I have to make a salad for the graduation and a fruit salad for the cook out on Sunday. Tonight I have a community (CIA) meeting to attend with Will.

Speaking of Will he got his SAT's back and did great. He was pretty happy. He has a pretty good plan for college now and so we are going to explore that. I will blab about that in another post. Everyone wish me luck with my lawyer tomorrow. Pray I can hire him......pray....pray....click the pull up fund button...which I think I will change it to legal fees button...*cringe*.

So, I have been awake since then. I stayed in bed until 5am then got up. I have been cleaning ever since. I am starting to get tired now. I still have to study today with a neighbor/classmate this afternoon. I invited her to dinner as well. At least I am not worrying about that. I have chili going in the crock pot. I made a few calls today too. I have an appointment with my lawyer on Thursday afternoon. I am going into the city anyway because Cade asked for me to schedule a therapy appointment for him. He wasn't supposed to have one this week but I agree with Cade that it's a good idea. So I am going to find a sitter for Sofie for that day. I also got physicals scheduled for Will, Connor and Sofie. Cade just had his. I also had to get Sofie's paperwork gathered for her preschool registration. I had to call the doctors office for them to fax her shot records over. I will probably have to call again because as of noon the school still doesn't have them. I have gotten a lot accomplished today and I think if I do a little a day I won't freak out so much. I don't know if my lawyer can even help me due to my money situation but at the very least he can advise me. I think I will look into seeing the free lawyer's office that day as well. I dunno. Maybe I will just call and see what they say. I am not sure I will do too much until after I talk with my old lawyer. At least I don't owe him anything. No lawyer signed the paperwork Sean filled out, just an assistant clerk. I don't think he has one and is doing this himself. GOD I hope so. I might have a chance.

Today has been about trying to give myself some control. Cleaning the house helps me feel better. I need to have some lunch and start studying.

I passed my final with a 96. I was stunned. I thought I passed but not that well. My overall class grade was a 93 so I passed my EMT class. I am very happy I did it. Now we are allowed to take our practical tests. All hands on stuff. I am very concerned about that because I don't have as much practice as the rest of the class because I missed quite a few classes when Sofie was sick and of course last Thursday when I got the call from the sheriff. The classes I missed when I was sick were not practical classes. Yesterday from 9am until 3pm we did practical stations. All set up like the real test which is on Tuesday. I did WAY better than I thought I would. I wasn't very stressed because I expected to fail pretty much everything because we have to do everything from memory and some of the things I had never done before or even SEEN. This was all practice and we weren't graded or anything. We had copies of the sheets the testers were going to use and they marked stuff off as we did them. There were several things we could miss and still be ok on points but there were some critical fails and if we missed them then we were done. Learned I had to speak up more. I learned two new stations. One of them I even passed blind. The other one I failed but I only missed one thing so I felt great. Overall it was a great practice day and for the first time I feel like I may really be able to do this. Some of us students on the island are meeting up today around 1pm to practice things we feel uncomfortable with. I think that will be good. Will said he would come down and be our patient. He has no idea...lol.

That out of the way here's the update on the stuff that is going to make me a basket case. On Friday I was able to get an appointment with my doctor. I told her what was going on and she refilled my prescription for anxiety pills. I got some the first time when Sean left. I had that bottle and never refilled it. That was in 2007. I think I have done quite well keeping myself together overall. I darn well know I will need something the day I go to court and while I am getting my ducks in a row to prepare. I also called Cade's therapist and told her too. She was shocked. She hadn't contacted Sean about Cade being there yet because she wanted Cade to feel comfortable with her first. She knew we had shared rights and because Sean hadn't objected to Cade seeing the other person he was at the same place she went ahead with treatment. She had asked Cade if he wanted his dad there and he said no. Still in talking with her privately before hand I told her the main reason for his returning to therapy when he had only so recently stopped was because of how stressful his relationship with his dad had become and the goal of including Sean and resolving this whole stealing/apology issue. He has been going now since the middle of March. She said she would contact Sean and without letting him know as of yet she is aware of what's going on about Cade's return to therapy and the goals and Cade's progress. Although Cade is still in the dark about what's going on he knows I had to stay in town late on Friday about something with his dad and he can tell it was upsetting to me. I can only do so much to be calm. I was really upset and shocked on Thursday and even though I went upstairs and had all the kids downstairs so I could cry and make a few phone calls about my class and stuff they all knew I was hurting. I am more even keel now even though I feel my heart beating a mile a minute sometimes. I teared up a lot on Friday morning but thankfully the boys weren't here. I can tell Sofie bumped my arm or stubbed my toe or something and she isn't the wiser. Cade still had a rough day on Friday and teared up about other things. He talked with his teacher though and that helped. I got those calls made then we had to jump on the noon to make my doctor's appointment. I did that, went to the pharmacy, had lunch with Sofie and dropped her off with her dad. He said nothing to me. My friend met up with me and I got the papers from the sheriff. It was ok and he was very nice. I read the papers with my friend in her car. She was as shocked as me. He wants me to have the kids three weekends a month, school holidays and every other holiday. Cade and Sofie only. Cade would be allowed to decide where he wants to live once he reaches high school. Since the kids would be with him during school weeks Cade would be going to a different middle school than he is already enrolled, where his brothers went and where he already has visited, met the teachers and has friends. Sofie would never go to our island school where all her brothers went. As far as that goes I am still moving forward with her preschool and am giving her paperwork this coming week to the teacher so she can have her card filled out so she will be enrolled by the end of the week. He also wants to eliminate child support. He wants me to pay the first $1,500 of medical costs a year instead of the $200 I pay now. In his statement about why he wants the kids with him it was just a mass of twisted facts and outright lies. I am sickened by what he said and I was worried at first but as I am calming down to think about it I can answer a lot of it easily. Still, just even thinking of the possibility I could lose my kids scares the hell out of me. He referenced Connor A LOT. Connor said this and Connor said that. One thing he said was Connor told him when he was home schooled he didn't learn anything and I made him babysit Sofie while I worked. It still sticks in Sean's throat I the court allowed me to to that. He said despite my weak academics and training and without consulting him I did this. Some of this we went over in court before. I did tell him of Connor's desire to home school and Sean had no problems with me home schooling our kids while he worked in the past, before he left us. So, I don't think that will be an issue. As for not learning anything because he babysat. He did the babysitting during the summer. Not during the winter school year. I only work away from the house in the summer. I am all done by labor day and do daycare from home in the winter. That was one of the reasons why I consented to home school Connor in the first place. I did have him watch Sofie and Aiden one day a week so he could earn some spending money and I included it into his home school as home ec and life skills learning. He had to document or discuss with me what he had to do. Cooking a nutritious meal, child behavior, why naps are important, reading to toddlers for literacy, things like that. On that one day a week I did my shopping and took Cade to therapy. I also did any other things I needed to do in town so I was only gone one day a week and every other Friday afternoon to bring Cade and Sofie in to see their dad. There was another thing there where he said that I was the one teaching Sofie if call Kathryn a mean witch and he said Connor told him I was telling her to do that. Well, I have a witness to the first time she said that as well as the email I sent the same day she said that to me to Sean about my concern about it. We weren't even divorced yet and it was when Sofie began watching Snow White for the first time. Sofie had just turned two. I emailed him telling him what she said and that I wanted him to be aware of it and where I had thought she got the idea from and that I didn't want any one to have hurt feeling or be shocked if she said it. I told him he could resolve the issue as HE saw fit. After that I didn't say anything more about it. She still does it so I don't know what Sean has done to try and resolve it. He never brought it up when we were in therapy. I don't say anything to Sofie about it because I know if I make a big deal about it she will think it's funny and a game and then it will never stop. I figure if she says it there has to be some kind of reason behind it. Her thinking is still black and white and the people who treat her well are the heros/princesses and the people who treat he poorly are bad guys and witches. It's the simple thoughts of a child. I think if they want it to stop they should treat her better. Anyway, it's more stuff like that horrible stinky stuff. On Monday I will call my lawyer and make an appointment. At the very least he can look it over, let me know his current rates and offer some advice. I'll have $900 coming to me this month for the library and I can use that. I had been hoping to pay another month of rent off with it. *sigh* There is also a free legal advice day at the court house one day a week. I will have to go then. I am not sure which day. After I talk with my lawyer I will see about the free lawyers. The main problem with them is the wait time. I know it will most likely be at least a month before the court date. I still have to wait for the actual date to come in that mail. Oh, oh yeah....this was funny too, he said, "At 10 Cade still believes in Santa Claus etc. and I am extremely concerned that he will have a difficult adjustment to middle school." Give me a break. He said if Cade goes to the other middle school he would be surrounded by his family who could help him adjust. Most of his arguments are from Kathryn. I know it. Cade told me he once told her he believed in Santa and both her and he at the time 7 year old daughter made fun of him. Kathryn told him in a condescending way, "Come on Cade your old enough to know better." Are we really going to go to court over Santa Claus? lol

ok, gotta eat and do some chore before my study time.