Our Island Family Life

I need to work on making lists again. I was getting overwhelmed looking at them and stopped for a while. On the other side of the coin now though I am feeling overwhelmed that things are sliding a bit. I know my thinking processes are like molasses right now with my lovely head cold but I totally spaced the free flu vaccines at the hall yesterday for the kids and me. Now I will have to pay for them at the doctors. Plus a trip in town. Wonderful.

I'm still sick but getting better. No fever and no oink oink flu for me. That's the silver lining for me on feeling miserable.

More good stuff. My island car is running. I hope it lasts the winter. I got my DHHS money today! I have already spent half of it on bills. I have more bills but I am trying to stay conservative. I need to get the town car all fixed up for the winter and inspected so I am going to do that first then see what I can do. Will made more money than me again last week. I feel pretty crappy about that.

Connor did go see his dad. Again he was gleeful about trying to bleed his dad dry of funds for xbox games. Whatever. Let them have a dysfunctional relationship.

Progress report cards are coming home today. These are not the final grades just a progress thing the school sends out so kids and parents can see what needs to be worked on before the final grades are done and gives the kids a chance to fix things.Will is exceeding all his classes but one. He is smart and lets me know before the cards come if he is having trouble. He also lets me know what he is doing to fix the problem. I wish all people did that with me. Connor on the other hand is almost a mystery. He didn't tell me what he was getting but he did tell me about the one class he was behind in and what he was trying to do to fix it. I am crossing my fingers I won't get punched in the stomach when I see the progress report.

I need to go and take a rest. I didn't work today but I am tomorrow and there is a field trip on Wednesday so I need to be over this thing by then.

Will is sick. Connor missed the boat and Cade was so upset I made him stay home so he wouldn't get mad and take out on someone at school. What a day. Why was Cade so upset? He had some down time yesterday after he got off the boat by helping Will clean up the tennis court in the square, he did so much Will gave him some of the pay he got for the job and so when they got home Cade was happy to have made a few bucks. That night though things began to simmer in his mind about the weekend and he let loose. Sofie started it all, not on purpose of course, by talking about how "the beast" had bitten her (again) while they were at Steve and Terrell's house. They are the new wife's parents. Sean and her insist the kids call them grandma and grandpa. Cade would rather die. Sofie did a few times but the past few times she has seen them has called them by name. Kathryn felt that was all Cade's doing and gave him a lecture about how he was "harming Sofie's brain" by telling her to call them by their names and that Sofie should have lots of grandparents. Cade said he thought she was nuts. How many grandparents does she want them to have? He asked her how she could be an English teacher and say something like he was harming his sister's brain? That was a little too weird for him. Then he was upset at Sofie being bitten. Sofie wasn't pleased either. She has a bruise to show for it. Then Cade said that Kathryn is planning on cutting Sofie's hair on their next visit. Granted her hair is long. Every time we go out people comment on how beautiful her hair is. So long and curly. I haven't had the heart to cut it yet. I'm not going to let it grow forever. For now though she is just lovely. When I do get it cut it would be her first cut. I have saved clippings from each of the kids first haircuts because of the milestone it is and the memories. Cade was furious. I don't blame him. Will was beside himself and said if she did that he would shave Kathryn's head himself. I left the room for a few minutes. I thought I was having a panic attack. It seem so stupid to be upset over a thing like a haircut. It's more than that really though. All the other emotions wrapped up in it. The power Sean is letting that woman have on our daughter. To touch a single hair on her head makes me so angry and panic ridden at the same time. The milestone moment gone. Sean doesn't give a crap about things like that. Scrapbook moments and family pictures. I do. That would be another thing taken away by him.....by HER. After I calmed I reasoned it was just haircut and most likely it was just her mouthing off because she is "so stressed" now a days. Cade said he was in tears on Saturday and was yelled at all weekend. I am so grateful he has therapy Friday. He doesn't want to go back ever again. He missed a day of school today because of the stress. This is not good. Not good at all.

On another note, the trip to the dentist on Friday was interesting. I had heard nothing from Sean since the week before last. I emailed him Tuesday and told him I was leaving the kids with his parents on Friday and about the dentist visit. He still hasn't given me info for the dentist. When I got there I tried to give them his name and address for billing. They wouldn't let me without a call or letter from him. I explained he had said the kids had dental coverage but that he wasn't giving me the information and about the last dental visit that was supposedly covered but I had paid for myself. The lady I talked to was nice. She gave me the number of the insurance company and said she wouldn't charge me for the visit that day. She couldn't understand either why a father would do that but she has had a similar experience (go dead beat dad's every where) so she was helpful. I went back to the waiting area relieved I didn't have to pay that day and after a few minutes she called me back. She was smirking. She asked me if he had a new wife. I said yes. The lady told me that the new wife had called the day before and added the kids to HER insurance. I was shocked to say the least. Now to anyone who even might be thinking that was a nice thing for her to do...don't. Sean lied. He lied.....again. He said HE had coverage for the kids thought HIS work. He was pressured by me and got her to do it for him. HIS kids and she is the one paying the bill. She is enabling him and was suckered. I am galled to have the kids covered by her. It's pretty sick. Not to mention it makes sense why he isn't giving me any info. He either never had it (which would be another lie) or he doesn't want to give me HER policy information. I wonder if she knows he lied and she is just saving his ass. I asked the lady where the reimbursements would go. Her insurance right? I paid a huge chunk already. She said since when they submit the bill the money is supposed to go to "the responsible party" which is me on the paperwork. Not her. I hope so. Just another paper trail I have to keep track of. *sigh*

One more thing...as if Connor wasn't stressing me enough. Anyone recall my ramblings about Connor giving me a last minute notice last weekend about seeing his dad and the fallout that followed? In the end he never went even though I said he could as long as he called his dad and I told him I needed to confirm the plans with his dad. Connor didn't want to do that so he didn't go.
After the debacle of last night, just before bed he tells me he has plans with his dad for Friday afternoon. I ask him what they are exactly. He said his dad was going to pick him up from school and that he was going to take the 5:45 ferry home. That would give them a little over three hours to hang out, have dinner, whatever. The only thing that annoyed me was that Connor said they made those plans Tuesday night. I am guessing over that stupid facebook thing. Connor says the only way he can ever get in contact with his dad with any certainty is by using it. Anyway, when Connor told me it was 8:30 Wednesday evening. I had sent Sean an email previously telling him I wanted any plans going on to be confirmed with each other. So I was feeling a bit disappointed in Connor for not telling me sooner but at least he did it. I was feeling nothing but ignored and angry with Sean for not saying anything to me. Not that I expected anything less than stellar parenting from him in the first place....:) Especially since Sean emailed me yesterday thanking me for letting him know Cade had overdue library books. So why didn't he mention it then? Still last night I was too tired to dwell. Since I had told Sean I would email him if Connor told me about plans unless I heard from Sean first I emailed him today. I hate myself for putting that clause in. I know it is the right thing. I know that is the responsible thing to do. It is a fair and reasonable thing to do. Still. I want to be a witch and say no deal unless Sean lets me know what the hell is going on. (deep cleansing breath) Anyway, I emailed him letting Sean know Connor told me about the plans. I told Sean what Connor said the plans were. I am proud of that. See in the past I would have just gone with one of them telling me they had plans and not gotten the nitty gritty info based on faith and trust. Those days are gone. I then copied and pasted the paragraph from the email I had sent before to Sean and told Sean exactly what the consequences were if I did not hear back from Sean confirming the plans by 8pm tonight. Connor would not be going. I pointed out Connor had done his part which was great. I was doing what I said I would do and contacting him. I also told him that since he had not replied to my previous email which had been sent almost a month ago that I went ahead with the rules and consequences outlined in that email and talked with Connor already about it and he was well aware of them and that Connor knew I had informed Sean of the rules and consequences even though I had not heard back from him. The email was two paragraphs plus the snippet from the previous email. I didn't elaborate. I simply did as I said I would, contacted Sean about the plan, informed him of what it was, asked for confirmation, and said what the results would be if I was not answered to by a set time. Several hours later this was the reply:

Yup, we did make these plans. I simply hadn't gotten around to letting you know. The plans actually were that he spends the night and returns on Saturday morning.

So, nonchalant of him, no? Short too. Still not saying in anyway what he thinks of the parenting issue at all. He just hadn't gotten around to it. When was he going to do it, after Connor was already in school on Friday?

I answered back that these were not the plans Connor told me and that I would talk to Connor about it when he got home and let Sean know later tonight. This is the kind of thing I wanted to avoid which is why I think this plan is important. If I hadn't asked what was going on and wanted to know the plan then I would be thinking Connor would be coming home on the 5:45 when he is really spending the night? What is the real plan and is Sean just "confused" again? I already know what Sean hears is usually what he wants and not what is really being said. That is really something we all have to watch out for. It's easier setting up plans with other kids moms than with Connor's own dad.

So, now I wait until Connor gets home and go from there. *sigh* What really eats me up is the fact Connor is only seeing his dad because Sean bribed him by telling Connor he would get him Halo for the xbox. Connor wants that bad enough to go through the trouble of see his dad. They are both using each other and I really hate that. I really don't believe Sean would see Connor at all except he thinks it will upset me and when things aren't going well for Sean he does things like this. Connor just wants stuff. I really hate this.

Oh yeah and about the library thing. I had emailed Sean about the books because I was the one who got the notice and if they weren't returned I would be the one getting the overdue fees and bills. I told him to take the kids to the branch library he got the books from and let them know to send all notices and bill to him as the responsible parent and I would take the kids to the main branch and do the same. If I got another notice I would contact the library myself and tell them where to send the bills. It isn't like I can go to his house and get the books myself can I? Cade can't even return the books either since he isn't there and would need a ride to the library anyway. I was really nice though and didn't mention he could have told me about Connor in that email...I REALLY wanted to. Restraint is my new middle name.