Our Island Family Life

Ok, let's start with some good stuff. Connor had his therapy session (finally) yesterday. It went really well. I least I think it did..lol. Anyway, we talked about goals and Connor was asked point blank "what do you want?". He wants to go to school, likes school, likes his teachers (except one), has made friends. So, what is the problem? It is something that also concerns him. Is it his age? The need for extra sleep? He is getting nine hours a night as it is and then cat napping as well during the day. Is it the season and dark hours? Is it slight depression? That is why we are there. All of this in the hopes he will miss fewer days which will help to not burden him with extra work later. Connor is simply fortunate that he is smart enough that he catches up quickly without even putting much effort. I explained all the different strategies Connor and I have tried. Something might work for a while then not anymore so we try again. Consequences for somethings, positive reinforcement in others. All the while he has taken the initiative to see what he needs to make up and does it. The school work isn't the underlying problem so we are focusing on Connor's needs and his sleep issues. I can see another sleep study might be needed. It was nice for me anyway to see the therapist stress some of the same things to Connor I have. Eating a good breakfast, getting to bed early, have a routine, get as much done the night before. We discussed maybe taking a shower in the morning to help wake him up since even when he gets up he is like a zombie and is unresponsive. Showers aren't good though because he is in there forever and doesn't leave in time. I have to shut the furnace off and run the water to get him out. In the end we made a plan and set a date to come back and discuss how it went, plus and minus. I really wanted Connor to know I trust him and that I didn't want to micro manage his life for him. I wanting him to be able to apply himself and take personal responsibility for himself and his actions. I would be his support and guide but I wasn't going to be his alarm and I wasn't going to drag him by the ear down to the boat and get him on it. He is going to be 15 this month. The therapist told him that really the ball is in his court. He has to be the one who wants to do this if it's going to work. He has a goal of one week without a missed day and if he does it he can reward himself. I threw in that he wouldn't have to do dishes (his least favorite chore) and he could chose something else. Soooo.....I was feeling good. Connor was feeling good and excited. I got home and emailed Sean about when to pick up the kids. I told him Sofie had the sniffles and asked if he could get them a little early. The reason I asked was because at the last minute Will needed for me to drive him to the college campus for a 9am test. He needed to take it so he could take a course offered by the college at his school. That meant I had to take Sofie with me in town again on the 6:10am boat and I knew she would be exhausted especially since she started getting a runny nose on Thursday. He emailed me back at 8:30pm saying he couldn't then went on a long rant about Connor and the bottom line in it was that he was going to petition the court to have Connor live with him. Oh. My. God. He said he had a good case since I wasn't honoring the visitation agreement concerning Connor and that Connor isn't calling him. He said I wasn't allowing him to see Sean and that his grades were bad. Well, even though I am concerned about Connor grades I want to be clear and say it isn't like he is failing all his classes or anything. He has stuff to make up in biology and that's it. So, all my good feelings for the day and feeling like we made some real progress went down the tubes. I was just beside myself and fighting off tears. He of course cc'd this to Connor. I didn't respond to the email and after thinking about this all day I'm not going to. If he wants to to it then let him ans we'll go from there. I didn't want to engage him in conflict and after I went to DHHS today I think he might just be doing this out of anger with me. More on that later. So Connor and I had a nice chat about it this morning on the boat ride in. He told me he would again talk with his bio teacher and if that didn't work (he has a problem communicating with her) he would go to the principal and get some help there. He also told me not to worry about dad. He said he didn't like how his dad tried to "overpower me with his attitude". I told him I was ok but Connor said he was glad I was giving him a chance and that he never told his dad he wasn't allowed to see him and that made him angry. I played devil's advocate and reminded him there was one time I told him no and that was on a day when he missed school. I told him if he was too sick to go to school he was too sick to go to his dad's and that if he felt better the next day then if it was ok with his dad then he could go. Connor simply chose not to go the next day even though he felt fine. Connor remembered. I told him it was possible he had told his dad he wasn't allowed (he had been on the phone with him at the time I said no) but didn't mention the circumstances (sick, next day ok) to him. If he did that then it was entirely possible his dad blew it out of proportion which he does a lot. That wasn't Connor's fault of course and he had no control of how other people perceive things but knowing his dad and his illness it should be considered and to not get too angry with him. His dad wasn't calling Connor a liar outright and I was used to his dad thinking I was trying to keep all of them away from him. I told him that we all know that isn't the case and I couldn't control his dad's feelings about it. Connor shouldn't either. I told him all he needed to do was focus on his school work and what we discussed in therapy. I told him he did well that morning and he was one step closer to his one week goal. Tonight Connor told me he spoke with his math teacher and told him if he had an issue with him and his work to bring it to him and not to discuss it with his father. He told him what was going on and that it was stress he didn't need. His teacher told him he would make some time next week and they could really sit down and have a talk. Connor felt good about that. He said his bio teacher said she was busy. I told him to not bother with her anymore and go straight to the principal. If he has to take bio next year w/a different teacher than fine. There are always options, the hard part is finding them. He was proud of himself for trying and I was glad he was feeling good. On a side note of good? things Connor has a girl calling him today. She has called three times and he said there are four other girls who like him right now. He seemed very embarrassed, yet pleased.

Isn't this the worst calendar ever? I could never just pop only one day. Bubble wrap is worse than Lays potato chips. I really could eat just one but bubble wrap is my Achilles heel.

We are supposed to be getting a big storm this weekend. I feel so tired and weak there is no way I am shoveling until I get over what ever the heck this is. I feel slightly better but still very tired. I have already taken one nap today and I know my medicine (borrowed) is making me drowsy. I can breathe a little better. I still get completely clogged for a while and that is the worst because I have a hard time swallowing. The stretches of just being normally clogged with some chances of breathing are getting longer.

It's snowing again. My nose is still clogging and I can't stand he weight of my glasses on my nose so I am practically blind. My eyes are watering and now I'm very tired. I slept really well last night though. I woke up a lot but when I was out I was out and amazingly enough Will and Cade got up with Sofie and I was able to sleep in until 11:30. I cheated though and used ear plugs. I wouldn't have been able to sleep at all if I could hear them. I had to try really hard to "let it go" and not get up and just take care of myself.

My cold is still making my life miserable. I slept a little better last night. If waking up every half hour because you literally couldn't breathe counts. I highly doubt I will be able to feel well enough to go into town tomorrow to do anything. Today is simply a no go. Cade is the only one who hasn't gotten sick. He is cooking breakfast today. He made a menu and Will is showing him how to cook sausage and hard boiled eggs. Even though this is helping me out by letting me rest he doesn't feel burdened and is having fun. He made a a piece of bacon and was very proud of himself.

From 10pm until 3am this morning Sofie was whimpering and crying. Her tummy hurt and she threw up, her knees hurt and she had a high fever. So, of course that meant I wasn't sleeping either. She would be calm just long enough for me to think I was going to be able to sleep then she would start up again. I was sick myself with a clogged nose and trouble breathing. Headache and low fever. I put in a movie for her to take her mind off the pain. It was the only thing that was able to give her little calm cat naps during that time. Thank you Disney. We slept in to 8:30. I would have kept on sleeping but once I heard her stir I was awake. Like all colds once you wake your nose becomes instantly full and I couldn't go back to sleep. I feel worse now than yesterday. Sofie of course bounced right back and is fever free and feels great. Well, at least one of us does. Connor is sick like me without the fever but with a sore throat. I am sure Will's little xmas day sickness did this to us. I couldn't go to town to shop today for food because one, I didn't want to leave Sofie and two I am too sick and tired to do so. It's times like these I miss having Sean around....of course towards the end he couldn't leave the house much anyway due to his phobias so...whatever.

It snowed today and we are recovering from xmas. Our day started late of course and Sofie was a mess when she got home. Her hair was a disaster and she has exhausted. We had to wait to open presents a while longer until she was able to calm down. She was crying and didn't know what she wanted. Once she was settled a bit we did the present thing. Will got me some tea from a new store. It cost him $25. It was amazing. He brewed a batch for all of us and it was very relaxing. Cade got me a necklace from the school store. He really worked hard earning the money to get presents for all of us. I forgot to mention that when I dropped the kids off Sean gave me some presents for Will and Connor. He never called Will on his birthday. I guess he thought this would make up for it. Will opened his two gifts when I got home. Each of them got two things. So either Will got one birthday, one xmas gift or two xmas gifts and Connor got two xmas gifts. Either way Will got less. Will got a used cd and a gift card. Connor opened one present and saved the other for xmas day. He got a used book. Now, I don't have a problem with used gifts. When you have little money it's very practical. I got all the kids stuff from Goodwill and the dollar store myself. The boys were a bit, I dunno what the right word for it is. They knew full well Sean was buying jewelry and brand new or expensive things for his new family so it was like he was giving them leftovers. It was insulting. What was worse was what Sean gave Connor for his other gift. We laughed about it when he opened it and made jokes but I'm sure he was hurt deep down. Know what it was? It was Connor's hard drive for his xbox. The hard drive his dad used Connor's store points for and earned himself. Sean didn't get Connor anything. He just wrapped something Connor had bought himself. Something Connor didn't even ask his dad to pick up for him or had given him permission to use his points for without Connor being there. So, in the end all he got from his dad for xmas was one used book. How sad is that? Cade said the girl had a whole table full of gifts. Him and Sofie combined had about half of that. It isn't the amount of gifts that bothers the boys. They were very happy with what they got here even though it wasn't much and nothing expensive. It was the fact the things I got fit who they are. They were thoughtful. What bothered them was seeing a physical, outward display from their dad of how much he favors the new family. It really hurts them and I have no xmas spirit for Sean. I would love to see the kids pain physically manifest on Sean. He would be covered in blood. ho. ho. ho. Yes, I am a terrible person. I am feeling very protective mom right now so ...whatever.

Yesterday afternoon was a bit crazy. I brought Sofie to the practice which was a mistake because now her cough is worse. Sean did tell me to keep the kids. I wasn't surprised. I made sure it was his choice though. I asked him to send some juice and medicine. He did but we didn't get it until 7pm. Better late than never I suppose. I think he is going to let them stay next weekend too. I wonder if this is because he is thinking of the kids welfare and community ties or just because it's the beginning of not having them come over anymore. I dunno and I don't have the thought capacity to think about it.

I sent Sean an email today telling him the kids were sick and asked him what he wanted to do about me bringing the little ones to town or not. I don't know what he will say. I am just going to prepare to take them in on the 4pm boat and let them at least rest most of the day tomorrow. I felt horrible this morning. I was dizzy and really tired. I had some protein and some fluids and I was right as rain. Colds always make me feel like that. Plus, I slept really well last night so I didn't want to get up. Work got postponed then canceled. That sucked. I am getting a few hours tomorrow. I am glad I can do it from home and still be with the sickos.

Now Will and Connor are sick. Will has a nasty cough but Connor is just stuffy so I think he can fight it off. That is the same stage as me. Other than being tired I am only stuffy. Sofie had a fever yesterday but it's almost normal now. Cade is grumpy and still stuffed. They are all home today and are getting on my nerves. The squabbling. Someone save me. I have confined them to beds and that has helped.

We didn't catch the flu that was going around a few weeks ago but we have colds now. Red noses and congestion. Sofie has a fever today. She has been a handful though. She doesn't want to stop and I am getting thin on patience. She didn't nap today. She just stayed in bed and looked at books for two hours. Then she saw a spider and freaked. She was out of bed in two seconds flat screaming her head off. I guess she doesn't like them.

I did my linens yesterday in preparation for my company this weekend. Also, since Sofie was sick I had to do her sheets anyway. I really loved going to bed last night. My sheets felt so nice and smelled so good. I always love that feeling.

Choices. I had to reschedule Will and Connor's conferences until next week because Sofie is sick. Last Friday Cade had a tummy ache and felt bad but he never really got sick. I am hoping that was his bout with the "flu" and he was able to fight it off. Last night at 3am Sofie woke up and threw up everywhere. She was able to get some sleep but kept getting up. She doesn't have a fever yet so that's good. She is in good spirits though and no one else here is sick. Cade was the only kid in school today. The teacher called and asked if I wanted him to come home and I said if they were willing to teach him then he could stay. I doubt he was thrilled with that. All the other kids are home with upset stomachs and high fevers. I couldn't bring Sofie with me to town with her upset stomach and my own lack of sleep. I hate having to put off the conferences but I really didn't have a choice. It's times like this I feel sad the kids only have one parent. I can only do so much. It's great the teachers at the school are understanding. Will started his freshman year there only days after Sean left. All the teachers there know the situation and Will has been quiet open and at times blunt about it. I have been to all the conferences and what school events I couldn't attend I sent things like cookies or donations. I try and be as involved as I can even at the high school without being too in your face. I don't want to be "embarrassing". Anyway, Sofie in the end slept more than me and now I will have the challenge of keeping her in bed for the day. She woke up and said she wasn't sick anymore. Of course as long a she isn't actively puking she thinks she isn't sick. Her occasional dry heaves give her away. She also wants to drink a lot and doesn't understand that too much isn't good either. I like having ice pops for her. I am getting some new (to Sofie anyway) kids movies from a neighbor today. I hope they keep her happy so she stays put. Now, back the laundry. She really made a mess.

I am really really mad at the moment. I am trying not to over react and send Sean a scathing email right now. It has been a while since I got an email from him that really pissed me off. Bothered me a bit sure. Made me sad, of course, but spitting mad? No. I was shocked of course to even get an email from him about what happened last weekend. He mentioned Halloween and that "they" didn't give Sofie too much candy and that most of Sofie's candy was there because I probably had more than I knew what to do with. *snort* Then he went on to "explain" an incident that occurred and he wanted to explain it in case Sofie mentioned it to me. Right away I thought..oh and if he thought she wouldn't then he would have said nothing right? Apparently the girl put Sofie in a time out and Sean caught her and took Sofie out of it right away(who knows how long Sofie was in it) and explained to the girl she in no way had the authority to do that to Sofie and that he thinks she understands that now. I am thinking that if he felt the need to explain it then it is way worse than he is making it out to be. Still, I doubt he sees that this girl thinks she can order Sofie about and her doing the time out is way better than what she was doing which was punching Sofie and biting her which Sean still says the girl doesn't do to Sofie. The girl bit Sofie the weekend before last and teeth marks don't lie. I was already in a rather bad mood concerning Sean the past few days. I dunno, just old stuff and feeling old hurts. My problem. Not his. Even if he was the one who caused the hurts to begin with. This morning I spent a long time getting Sofie cleaned up after her weekend. I usually don't mess with her the first day back because I don't want her thinking that coming home means pain. Besides she spends most of her time sleeping. She slept for 5 hours at nap time. Also, I had to give her some tylenol because of a wound on her leg. I saw it Sunday and it was bloody and she had been scratching it. I was a bit taken aback. She said it was a bug bite but it wasn't. It looked like she had been poked with a stick or something. I cleaned it and it was all red around the edges and a little swollen. I knew it was the beginning of an infection. I dressed it and had one of the EMT's here look at it. I was doing the right thing and gave her some medicine and she seemed ok enough. I just have to keep an eye on it. She slept, got up and had dinner then wanted me to watch a movie in bed. She was just sluggish. Today she woke up early and ate a good breakfast and took a long shower. Her hair was a mess again. I redressed her leg, which is looking much better. The area around one of her shots she got on Friday is a little red. Her skin rash she gets from time to time was back and she had a rash on her bottom again. These things don't happen when she is home. I was just not a happy camper to see this and even though I don't mind taking care of her needs I shouldn't have to and I can only hope she wasn't too uncomfortable. Her fingernails were black. I trimmed them and still had to dig out dirt. These things take a long time and that is why I wait a day for her to recover before I do them. Otherwise she just gets upset and cries and whines. She was fine with me doing everything today. I feel a little bad I don't clean her up right away but I do major things first and then let her relax first. So after all that was done I get this email. I just wanted to have a cup of tea and have some toast. Did Sean mention her leg? No. Her rashes? No. Should I feel impressed he told me about the incident? I don't feel that way because he still isn't seeing the bigger picture. You know though? That isn't what made me mad. This was just more of the same and I can handle that now with maybe a nasty expression on my face but I don't get so mad I want to scream. The next few lines made me furious. It was all about Connor. How Sean got a copy of Connor's school reports and how it looked like he was missing stuff. How he needs to go to his support blocks. He wanted to know if Connor had unexcused absences? How he missed a lot of school and was in danger. That he went online and checked the powerschool info and he was concerned about Connor's missing stuff. How Connor could come to his house for the weekend and that Connor had expressed he wanted to come over and they could do some math. The last time Connor was there they didn't do any because Connor forgot to bring it. That I knew wasn't true because I packed it myself and Connor complained about it not getting done. I wanted to scream. You jackass. He hasn't done ANYTHING concerning Connor's education except for one conference since he left. That was in 2007. Connor refused to even see his dad for that because we had already had conferences that Sean didn't bother to go to. Sean just decided to go to the school and demanded to be seen. Yes, Connor is missing stuff. He is still making up work from when he was absent. All of Connor's absences are excused except for the ones where the school messed up his schedule and that happened to Will as well. In fact most of the school had that problem. He is not in any danger at all. His worst class is science not math and Sean didn't offer to help in that. Connor does stay for the after school blocks already as well as the in school study block. Connor is also aware if he doesn't pass all his classes he loses his xbox for the whole next semester. He will do anything to prevent that. I should be pleased Sean is showing an interest I suppose. It's just that I feel you can't just show an interest when you think things are going wrong. It is an everyday thing. You can't just step in and order people around and take over because things aren't the way you think that should be. Where is he for the everyday stuff? To ask if the homework is done? Making calls to the teachers? Where is he then? Also, why just Connor? Sean doesn't care how Cade is doing or Will. He hasn't said anything about Sofie maybe being able to start preschool this spring. You can't just pick and choose which kid to harass. I am trying to calm down before I answer him. In fact I may just ignore him completely. I am leaning towards that because I am thinking answering him is giving him what he realy wants. That isn't info on the kids but power over me and my emotions. Connor never said to me he wanted to see his dad next weekend at all. In FACT he told me just this morning that he was going to work for a guy on the island this weekend to earn some money for a new game he wants. He saw Sean on Sunday on the boat. Connor had gone into town for a few hours and they rode the same boat back. On that ride Sean told Connor he would help him pay for a new hard drive for his xbox. Connor had earned enough money to pay for half of it. Connor knows this is hot air and that's why he has a job lined up the the weekend. How do I talk rationally with someone who is so full of it? It isn't real concern for his kids but a need for control. Control of me. Control of the kids. I checked my bank account yesterday and I saw DHHS had taken more money from Sean. Nearly $350. I was thrilled. I am sure he is pissed about it so now here is the concern for school? He doesn't have the control over the money like he used to so now he will find another way to torture us. I really wish I could change the divorce to where he could have no say in the kids stuff. He doesn't try to work on things. He ignores then makes demands. If I try to do anything he holds the divorce over my head saying he can say no to anything and he will sue. Control again. It's should be about a father having some rights but instead it's used as a tool to abuse. There is no other word for it but abuse. I am so thrilled I have so many more years to be abused by him. Good thing I am not already depressed.

I need to work on making lists again. I was getting overwhelmed looking at them and stopped for a while. On the other side of the coin now though I am feeling overwhelmed that things are sliding a bit. I know my thinking processes are like molasses right now with my lovely head cold but I totally spaced the free flu vaccines at the hall yesterday for the kids and me. Now I will have to pay for them at the doctors. Plus a trip in town. Wonderful.

I'm still sick but getting better. No fever and no oink oink flu for me. That's the silver lining for me on feeling miserable.

More good stuff. My island car is running. I hope it lasts the winter. I got my DHHS money today! I have already spent half of it on bills. I have more bills but I am trying to stay conservative. I need to get the town car all fixed up for the winter and inspected so I am going to do that first then see what I can do. Will made more money than me again last week. I feel pretty crappy about that.

Connor did go see his dad. Again he was gleeful about trying to bleed his dad dry of funds for xbox games. Whatever. Let them have a dysfunctional relationship.

Progress report cards are coming home today. These are not the final grades just a progress thing the school sends out so kids and parents can see what needs to be worked on before the final grades are done and gives the kids a chance to fix things.Will is exceeding all his classes but one. He is smart and lets me know before the cards come if he is having trouble. He also lets me know what he is doing to fix the problem. I wish all people did that with me. Connor on the other hand is almost a mystery. He didn't tell me what he was getting but he did tell me about the one class he was behind in and what he was trying to do to fix it. I am crossing my fingers I won't get punched in the stomach when I see the progress report.

I need to go and take a rest. I didn't work today but I am tomorrow and there is a field trip on Wednesday so I need to be over this thing by then.

I really tried but I got sick anyway. Night before last my throat was sore. I was so tired I dropped into a dead sleep real early but I had to get up early for the boat yesterday. I imagine if I could have stayed home I wouldn't feel so bad now. I really should be in bed now but it's Sofie's nap time and I put her in my room where I can shut the door. It's the weekend and everyone is here so I wanted her to have some quiet. Plus, I can sit still without having to get up for her anyway. Connor and Cade cleaned up for me today. I was thankful. Will is working. I had to go into town yesterday for Cade's therapy session. It went well. I would have skipped out on swim otherwise. Since we were already in town though we did the whole enchilada. I went grocery shopping and we went to swim. I did other errands. We had to walk to the boat in the morning since the car is still out of commission but we got a ride home. Sofie was really tired. I figured I would check my mail and stuff before settling down on the couch for a while. I have a fever so I need a nap. I got an email from Sean. He finally emailed me to ask if Connor could come over tomorrow. He might be getting it. I really am not in the mood to deal with him today. I was a little miffed he implied that he hadn't seen Connor in a long time even though Connor had told him he has wanted to see him like that was MY fault. They have both set up stuff and both bailed and Sean has set up stuff in his own mind that would have never happened anyway. That is also part of the reason why I have been a stick up your butt firm witch about any plans going through me now. So he asked, I told Connor, Connor said he would go, I emailed Sean confirming the plan and said if ANYTHING should change ie, Connor changes his mind or misses the boat etc. that we would contact him right away. That's the best I can do. So we'll see how it goes. Gotta go and rest now.

Let's start off with some good news. I got my laptop back. It's fixed and it works. Bad news, won't connect to the internet unless plugged in....now I need to figure out the problem. It means a phone call to the provider which always ends in misery...for me. Oh and I might need a new battery and/or adapter. Still cheaper than a new laptop. More good, called the DHHS hot line and the money was collected yesterday. Bad news, still not in my account even with direct deposit. Called DHHS back and was told it can take up to seven days for it to be dispersed. Good news, the mechanic came and looked at the island car yesterday...finally. Bad news, it still isn't running. Good news, it isn't the wiring. Bad news, it might be the battery after all but not sure yet. It says it's charged but it might just be too old. Good news, the guy thinks he has one at his house in town and is going to get it for me...for free. More bad news, while talking to DHHS found out they still do not have verification of Sean's job and there is not a wage attachment in place yet. So, in theory after I get this money I will be going through this process again. As it stands they are going to let him make payments to them himself. I pointed out that was why they had to do this bank attachment in the first place because he wasn't paying. I was told they are just waiting for the verification. I pointed out again they have been waiting for almost a year for one of them and since the beginning of August for the other. What does it take to get the places to answer them? I was told that they will just keep doing bank attachments every month if they have to. Riight. Because it worked so well this time. Giving Sean some points he did make a payment at the end of September all on his own outside of the attachment. That was added to the payout yesterday. I give points where they are due. Still, his numbers are very low. I guess I get to call them next week. I am thinking I am going to have to call the school myself. I really am not the kind of person with the skill set to do this kind of thing. It raises my stress levels big time. More bad news, got my credit card bill and those places I called before that I had charges from that I didn't make are still charging. They "said" I was refunded and off the records. I called one place twice. Now I am going to call the credit card company. I am so mad then tired at the same time. More phone calls. ick. Even though there is more in the bad news side I feel as if I am taking some steps forward. That may sound weird but maybe I am just feeling optimistic right now. I guess that's a good place to be...oh more good news. My new books rock! I am so happy they are so fun to read. It makes me happy and I need all I can get in the makes me happy bucket. Connor said I made him sick when I finished one book in a day. I told him he was just jealous and he laughed. He was teasing me. That was nice though. It's good to see him connecting. Speaking of that, more bad news, one guy on the island Connor is pretty close with got real sick on the boat ride home yesterday. They have EMT's on the boat and they stopped at the nearest island and met up with the fire boat that took him to the hospital. We don't know yet if he had a stroke or had an allergic reaction to some meds he had that day. (He had some teeth pulled) He is in his 70's but still works for the government and it's a real shock. Healthy guy. I will hear more today.

It's happening again. That weird sneezing fit I had a few weeks ago. It started yesterday afternoon and I still have it this morning. I totally forgot I had medicine yesterday and was just miserable. I just took some. I hope it works. I wonder if I have developed an allergy or maybe it's just old age..:) Change of seasons doing it? I dunno. It's just plain weird and my eyes are burning. I have a cup of tea, Sofie is all clean and watching a movie next to me while learning how to do buckles, zippers and laces and I am waiting to the drug to kick in. It's for allergies so if it doesn't work then that probably isn't my problem. I will just be a random sneezing freak of nature. I was planning on taking Sofie for a nice long walk today. The weather is nice so I hope I feel better soon. Now Sofie is dancing and singing. She is watching Labyrinth (again) and loves the Magic Dance song. She loves David Bowie. How funny is that? She has such a pretty voice. Mine stinks. So does Sean's so it's her own talent completely. It's nice to hear singing in the house.

Cade left for camp today. He will be gone until Friday. It's through the school. It is a leadership and esteem building thing. Almost the whole school is gone. They are joining up with another island school. It will be quiet without him here. Two kids are left at the school here. The camp is only for 3-5th grades. The ones left behind are 1st graders. They call themselves Team Uno. Last year they were Team K. It's pretty cool. Today they have a field trip to the island store to make pizza and tomorrow are going to the island post office for a behind the scenes tour. The place is so small I am not sure what there is so see but it should be fun anyway...:) These are things Sofie will be able to do in the spring if they are able to start a preschool here. Did I even mention that? I got a call from the teacher a few days ago asking if I was interested in letting Sofie go to preschool here if it was available. I though well, cool. The superintendent had asked about it and it going to see is she can set it up. Cade would be in school with his sister for a few months at least. Next year he will be traveling on the ferry in town for 6th grade. None of the boys went to preschool. I didn't think it was necessary. I think for Sofie would like it though since the environment is SO different. She is already so involved with the school going on all the field trips and going to recess and coming over for story time frequently that it won't be too drastically different. A lot of places that call themselves preschools I think are really just more expensive day cares. Parents can feel less guilt about being away with the name change. We fool ourselves with fancy names. Domestic engineer = maid...sorry. Since she would only gone for the morning and still be home for nap time I think she would like it. It isn't a done deal anyway so we'll see. School budgets are tight. I don't know if Aiden would go this spring or next fall. He is 6 months younger so he would be a year beind Sofie either way. If he does go then I will be out of a job. Well, not quite but less time. It's all up in the air. So much to think about.