Tuesday, April 24, 2012
That stress aside, kids are doing well. There have been a few hair ripping moments. Let's get the good out of the way first. Connor is still stable! Through therapy, lots of long talks, interesting living arrangements and a new focus he has been taking great strides against depression. He still can be quite moody. His silence and can be quite condemning to the rest of us so there are times when I am reminded of when his dad was here and we watched the mood in the room plummet. He isn't trying to be nasty. I think he thinks if he doesn't say anything then we don't notice but we do, we do. Cade gets most of the grief. Connor sees Cade being you know, twelve, and gets irritated with Cade's choices. Now that Connor has "figured stuff out" he can't comprehend how Cade doesn't "get it". I just look at Connor and told him, "Remember you at twelve? Welcome to my world." Connor has decided where he wants to go to college. Which to me is great because a year ago he didn't even want to go much less try to pick one. It's just an obvious thing to him now. He has a tour lined up next month. He wants to enter their music program. His grades have improved to the point where has been getting student of the month awards and is getting more involved at school. He plays his guitar at school meetings and winning some talent shows. Sadly, my first thoughts were, is this a manic thing? He was living on four hours of sleep for a while. He felt like he had much catching up to do. He did of course but you can't do stuff like that overnight. Here the therapy and long talks helped him make more balanced decisions. One thing I hate though is that he stays at a friends house on another island about half the week. He works there so logistically and practically it makes sense. His friend lives with just his dad and older brother. The dad thinks Connor is super and in a way I think Connor needed that kind of male role model. The guy is very, kids come first and if it needs doing just do it and don't whine so that helped kicked Connor in the butt some. On a sad note though, or not depending on your point of view, Connors stance on his dad have sunk to new lows because of this. He can't help comparing the two adults and well, I think it's pretty obvious why Connor just has no respect for his dad right now. So, eyes open, keep mania at bay, ears to the ground. Ever vigilant. Here's hoping.
Will, is the same. A few more months and he will have his BA. He started on his program when he turned 18 and was still a senior and he didn't work this winter to focus solely on his school. He did do a few odd jobs to pick up extra cash here and there and I stressed the importance of having a social life so he goes out once a week or a weekend here and there to hang with friends. He wants to work all the way to a doctorate so I imagine he will be here a while. He helps with bills too so, no complaints here.
Cade....oh, what to say about him? Grades ok, dad situation in a holding pattern (meaning still not seeing him), normal grumbles about chores and candy addiction all right on target. Friends....well, he could have more sense there. It has all come to a head recently where Cade had some lessons learned in a hard way. Like, with police involvement. Yes, I said police. At the beginning of the school year there was this kid from another island who started going in town on the morning boat for 6th grade. Cade is in 7th now but the 6th, 7th and 8th graders all go to the same school and are around the same ages and thus a click was born. The older kids always take the youngest under the wing and show them the ropes so the new kid was taken in like an orphan in a Dickens novel. Sadly, this kid comes from a troubled home, less said on that the better, and thought threatening to beat up his new buddies was the right course of action. Beat up he did. Kicking, wrestling, throwing stuff. Stealing and hiding backpacks, hats, coats, you name it, he did it. After about two months of this he leveled off and seemed to settle. Like a cat in a cage who knows he is on the way to the vet and finally resolves himself to his fate. Cade was a bit shell shocked. Of course even though the kid was new to 6th grade he wasn't unknown. They all went to swim classes together, did inter school events and hung out when island hopping. Little did Cade know (because this had been a big secret) the kid had gone to juvie once for shooting out peoples windows with a BB gun the previous summer. I had told Cade around a month ago I had enough of the kid and did not want Cade hanging around with him anymore. Note: I did not know about the shooting but I had been learning more and more about his life and Will and Connor both (who know the situation and him better than me) had been telling Cade to be civil but not to "engage" with the kid finally asked me to put my foot down because Cade didn't listen to them. Cade, bless him, thought he if was just a good enough friend to the kid that everything would be fine. Cade thought he would give the kid advice and help him out and the kid would, "change". I was already irritated with the whole random beating up thing and told Cade no more. Then I got the phone call. Cade had gone to the other island to visit a different friend. Cool kid. Wonderful parents. We're all friends. The other kid comes over (he lives on that island) and asked them if they wanted to hang out for a while. Cade and his friend agreed. Cade's friend has known the other kid his whole life and also knew that it wasn't a winner of an idea but islands can be like family. We all have that weird cousin (usually that's me :) ) that we know is one step away from some kind of an institution and yet we still submit to their company. The island kids (and adults) are the same. So, against better judgement the three boys all set off Lord of the Flies style off into the unknown. Yet, it wasn't unknown the our caged cat boy because he knew exactly what he was going to do. Like lambs to the slaughter Cade and his friend followed and I think this is what makes me the angriest. I wanted to wring Cade's neck for being so darn stupid. The kid brought them to the island boat yard (can we say trespassing) then got on one of the boats and proceeded to empty three of the boats fire extinguishers. Do you know how expensive those are? Also, hello vandalism. Cade and his friend rightfully freaked out. Not to mention got covered in white foam. Then tried to stop the kid instead of running for the hills and parents. This of course got their fingerprints all over the first extinguisher. The did take off after that and the kid emptied the other two single handedly. On the way to the friends house to reveal all, the kid catches up and takes Cade aside and then threatens Cade with a savage beating if he tells anyone about the incident. Cade, who was already freaked to begin with, found a new stage of terror and said nothing. Later on Cade found out the kid and taken Cade's friend aside as well and threatened him too. Not just to beat him up but to also, "make his life a living hell". Nice. Now, did these boys tell us parents about the bullying and visit into mayhem? Nope. So, imagine our shock to have the police call taking about extinguishers and fingerprints and and nice visit to juvie. Cade and his friend were a crying mess to say the least and at first the kid pointed the finger at them so they could "all go down in flames together". Somehow though once the whole story came out the kid was struck by some sudden bout of conscious and fessed up. He admitted the threats and that the other boys hadn't done anything. The kid went to juvie for five days and I am sure other punishments ensued. Cade is still grounded by me for a good long while but we had a nice chat about bullies and stuff. His brush with, "the law", was scary enough. Thankfully Will and Connor didn't berate him as I thought they would. They shook their heads though and told him to, STAY AWAY, from the kid hence forth and Connor would be, "watching him" on the boat to make sure. Cade is all for that plan. Still, I am glad the boys didn't tell Cade I told you so. I think Cade would have just burst open like a little stress bubble and melt away if they had. We had just got Cade stable enough to go to school every day after many trips back to therapy so this wasn't what I was hoping for. I think I had a small heart attack myself.
Sofie, still giving tantrums about going on visits, losing and growing teeth like a shark, is getting more girly everyday and is brimming with excitement for her sixth birthday on Wednesday. I can't believe it. The picture above is her at her first baby shower. She stuffed herself with cream puffs and went, "awww...that SO cuuuute!", at all the outfits. Ever since she has been baby crazy, even more so than before. Since the party the baby has been born, Baby Chloe, our newest island baby. I have been tapped to babysit when the mom goes back to work. Sofie is on pins and needles in expectation....:)
So, yeah, nothing has happened and everything. I have been in little mood to write. Maybe I will feel better soon.
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