Monday, February 28, 2011

*sigh*

So, my interview is tomorrow. I am not too worried other than figuring out how to get there. I won't be alone though. I started having congestion again. I wonder if stress is making me sick?


I got a check today from Sean. I am not sure if I should be happy or irritated. I am glad for the money since I really need it. It was only for $355 and I have the distinct feeling he is going to bail on laying the rest. I really could use the $1500 right about now. I haven't heard anything from DHHS about them getting him to pay the back child support. I darn well know he has his tax return back. I wouldn't be surprised if he had the money deposited into his wife's bank account so DHHS couldn't attach it. He is a clever puppy after all.

I got my math book for my next classes in the mail today. I feel a little better after looking at it. I was worried it would be beyond me but it's pretty easy stuff. I great refresher course.

I just wish I wasn't so tired.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Date

I have my interview set for next week. I have nothing to wear of course but I still have a sweater set I borrowed from someone I used for court. I guess I will wear that. I was told this will just be a 15 minute thing. I also won't be alone so it should be ok. I have no idea how to get there and neither does the postmaster....it's funny.


It's snowing today. A winter storm warning. I was going to bring Sofie to town today but I am thinking I will probably just stay home. Will is having three friends over tonight. I am glad I have until 4pm to clean. I pretty much didn't do anything yesterday as far as cleaning goes because I was babysitting. Time to pay.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Working today. School is done until March. Been so high strung I am feeling the whoosh of relaxation. It's a busy house today. Besides babysitting, Will has a friend over so there are six kids in the house now. Still, it's rather quiet for some reason. I am sure I will regret saying that soon enough. I was able to get some food shopping done on Tuesday. I had planned on running in and quickly coming back but I was invited to lunch and I thought, why not? So, I went and it was nice. I got caught up on some island gossip and met up with a friend who had moved off for the winter. I was still able to do my shopping so we aren't down to dry milk and lemonade to drink.


The scuttle butt is that the loggers will be done and gone by the end of the week so this weekend might be the final time I clean. Nothing is for sure yet. I am owed money which I really need. I am glad to be picking up some babysitting hours. I will also be spending some time at the library getting it ready to open over the next few weeks. I still have to think of a display for this year....my creativity level right now is on empty.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Prospects

So, I will be having my interview for the post office job either next week or the week after. The date is being set up. I am a little shocked but things are looking good. I am rather nervous. I will be going into town with the postmaster here since she has to be in the interview as well. If all goes well I would be training soon and starting around the beginning of May.


Other good news, the newest island baby was born! A boy named Edward. A first baby for the family and with only 3 hours of labor! Early too. She is a very lucky mom.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Work

So, I am down to the wire again with the bills. Love that feeling. I was able to work yesterday and I am even babysitting today. I know I have some money coming and that is reassuring. I haven't done my taxes yet. I have an appointment coming up. I have to deal with the whole student loan thing which is new to me. I highly doubt that "the check is in the mail" bit I got from Sean. Even then he said it was only part of what he owed from court. On top of that I haven't heard anything about what DHHS is doing to get at his assets. I am sure they are wondering how he can buy a new house and still be behind in his support payments. I know I do. He was never able to buy a home for our family in 20 years. I guess going from home to home is his new thing like he used to do with shoes. Try it on then sell it and get a new pair. You can not tell me that his bipolar isn't a factor in all that. Anyway, nothing new to say, just stressed. Finals for school is going on. I didn't do anything last week so I am crunching now. Being sick is such a waste.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Churning

Not too much to say. I was sick last week. High fever and the whole shebang. Sofie was ill too so we didn't do much. I really don't remember a whole lot of last week. We slept a lot. I have to do some shopping in a big way. We are out of all the essentials. I am pretty much out of money. I am owed some for cleaning but the guy that pays me is off island. Sean said he had a check for me of "some of the medical bills he is supposed to pay." He wanted to know if I would be bringing the kids in this weekend and that he would give me the check on Friday. I was still feeling exhausted and the phone message rubbed me the wrong way. He was using money as bait for me to contact him. I really hate that. The kids are with me for vacation so there was no reason for him to ask about the kids. He was bugging me the week before as well asking if I was going to bring the kids in when it was my weekend. He just assumed that since he canceled his visit the weekend before I would "trade" with him. I just didn't respond and left it at that. I am following the rules to the letter and it isn't sitting well with him. He said he even drove down to "meet us." Well, that's his problem. It isn't that I am trying to be mean. I am just tired of all the games. I was just thrilled how one of his emails to me was sent on Valentines Day and was quite nasty. Maybe he is having trouble with the fact that day was our anniversary so he needed to be a jerk to reaffirm his new life. I dunno. Anyway, I was feeling down all week and I am sure my being sick didn't help. At least being stuffed up gave me a reason not to cry.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Pressure

I have Connor's cough now. Wonderful. I hope it's just a fluke. I had a horrible migraine yesterday afternoon. It has been so long since I have had one I had almost forgotten how much they wipe you out even after the pain is gone. I am still feeling it's wrath. *sigh*


Anyway, I have finally heard back from Connor's teachers. There are only three I need to work with. The one who I was told might be the hardest to work with has been the most helpful. Still, he has yet to send Connor any work yet. We did set up how it was to be done though which is progress. His English teacher (and crew leader who Connor doesn't trust due to his connections with Kathryn) got back me only yesterday (2 weeks late) and then said he still didn't know what I was looking for. I am glad the school counselor got him to email at least. The last teacher is one neither of the boys care for and I never really knew why other than she was "mean". Don't most kids think that? Well, I know she is at least condescending. I can easily see why they think she's mean. She didn't tell me what I needed to know but instead told me it was impossible for him to do ( for various reasons, lack of equipment etc.). I thanked her for her perspectives and told her what I needed was the lab assignments and the expectations on what he was supposed to learn from them and that access to equipments and things of that nature are my responsibility. No word from her since my response. I have been cc'ing everything to the counselor and the principal so I know the teacher won't be able to stall anymore. Some teachers are like that with homeschooling. It doesn't make me mad, it's just annoying and time consuming. I really don't need her input at all. I could do this myself but I am trying to work with the school in cooperation. I just don't need the grief.

I had thought that Sean latest interest in harping on me and the kids was set off by money concerns. I still think this is the case. The time set for him to pay what he owes from court is coming up soon. I also know since they are moving that is also a huge life stress and a real trigger for his bipolar. The final straw I am sure is something I got in the mail yesterday. DHHS sent me a letter letting me know they were going for a lien on his personal property, real estate and bank accounts. Understanding the causes to the triggers helps intellectually but it doesn't really make dealing with it emotionally any easier. Besides there is a little corner of my heart that is rather happy someone is holding him accountable.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

I got an angry email from Sean today. I am not very upset about it but I need to take some time to think of how to respond or even if I should. It is in two parts, the first part was about visits. Last week he didn't take the kids due to illness so he emailed me about switching weekends so he could have them this upcoming weekend instead. I didn't respond because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I wasn't just ignoring the email (sent on Monday). In the past I would have obliged and have felt bad for him. I would think about, "what if I needed a change?," if I do this then he would for me. I never really thought to much of it if was good for the kids because really, it isn't. I used to think any time was better than no time for them to have with their dad. Waaaaayyy, back to even before I was divorced my therapist had told me how much he was an advocate for kids and parents to be together but there are some times, in some instances where it may not be in the best interest. I knew that of course but didn't think it applied to Sean. Sean himself said if he spent more time with them then they would be fine and not be as angry. As it has turned out things have gotten so much worse. Cade and Sofie who have spent the most time hate being there and ask frequently to stay home. Cade doesn't wish to go at all and thinks about being with his dad in other settings like the way he would visit an aunt or uncle. Meet at the mall or grab some lunch. That's about it. There is another mom who lives here who has to see her kid on certain weekends like Sean. (Long story) She was sick on the last visit and wasn't able to get him but he didn't come up the next weekend or anything. She missed it and that is that. No harm no foul, life happens. I have never been able to say to Sean, "Gee, I'm sorry you were sick and it's too bad you didn't see the kids. They understand, I hope you feel better and we will be there to meet you on your next pick up time." That is what I should say. I know it. I shouldn't try and bend over backwards all the time to accommodate him. I know it is something I need to work on. I feel like I should make an excuse like I have company or something. So, I had finally decided to bite the bullet and keep my weekend when he sent the email. I wouldn't have waited any longer than today to make sure he knew well in advance. He may not do that for me I certainly would do that for him. Not because it's him but because it's good manners. He said something to the effect of how he was "still waiting". Like I made him wait a life time. I had emailed him weeks ago about arranging the holiday visits and he never said boo to me. I didn't get upset about it. I just am a bit grumbly about the double standard.


Second, he finally mentioned Connor to me. He was very upset. I got the feeling he was more upset with Connor than me but I also knew he was blaming me for "Connor's behavior". To summarize it was about Connor's grades and attendance. How "abysmal" and how "at this rate" blah blah Connor is horrible etc. . Then finally, he asked me what was going on. This is the first thing he has said to me about Connor in months. Even when Connor moved back here Sean never spoke to me about it. The last time we even spoke about Connor was in October in the waiting room of Connor's counselor's office where Sean accused me of wanting to further my own agenda and I should just leave. I admit my own flaws of not talking to Sean about Connor since his return. I knew Sean was very angry with Connor and me and it wasn't going to be a constructive conversation. Then when Connor got real bad emotionally I knew this day was going to come. I just wanted Connor to see the pdoc first before I sat down with him. I wanted to have in hand all the evidence I could otherwise Sean would go ballistic. Also, school is more important to Sean than Connor mental state which is just backward to me. Get him stable then school will follow. Even Connor doctor told him not to worry about that yet and focus on getting well first. How to explain all this to Sean? I would like to be able to meet with him face to face about this but I already know to not meet him alone or even to meet in a public place because he will either verbally abuse me or if given the chance and if angry enough he would try and hurt me. This topic, lots of anger there. I think it's more about him and his own mental health issues he doesn't want to deal with than Connor's. Anyway, this sudden interest in Connor again is just Sean doing his high and low thing he does. It's all a part of his mood swings and right now he is in high dudgeon. Lucky me. How to respond? Thoughts?

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Stamps

I figured I would add the link to my little links sidebar over there about buying stamps. Island post offices are always in danger of being shut down (like schools) due to small revenue. If businesses or people order their stamps from an island post office it helps them out. So, the link has a pdf that can be printed out so anyone can buy their stamps. It's a bit old so I am not sure if the stamp prices are correct but a quick call the the post master of your choice will be happy to make sure everything is done correctly. When a school, post office or store closes it's just one step further to ending the community as a whole and leaving it a summer play ground. *boo* *hiss* We all need stamps right?




I am the only person/family to live down on this end of the island in the winter. The fire road video is on the other end on the same side. Now, no one lives down there in the winter and the loggers worked down there first and I think forgot what it means to have to deal with other people. I have had to speak to the foreman (who I work for cleaning the houses they rent) that I need to them not to be blocking the road around 8am and 11am on weekdays because I take Sofie to school. I drive her because it is a bit of a walk for her especially when it is freezing out. We used to walk every morning until around the end of October. Things were good for about a week then they started blocking me again. Most of the time they would move pretty quickly and I am pretty patient knowing they have a job to do. There were a few sketchy times when the big tractor trailer truck came by me a little too close for my comfort. It is a very narrow road. I don't have a huge truck like they do that can drive in ditches if needed. In fact all the crap they have left on the road has been dragging under my car now and I can't get it out. *sigh* Anyway, yesterday I couldn't get Sofie to school at all. They were loading huge logs into a huge tractor trailer truck. I waited nearly 15 minutes and turned my engine off to not waste gas. I am nearly out. Finally I gave up and I had to drive home. Backwards. There isn't room to turn around. Up a hill. A steep hill. In a car that has trouble going up hills in forward. I was not pleased. I called the school and since I had already spoken the foreman once I let others do the displeased vocalizations. About 10 minutes later a friend was able to break through the lines and picked her up. I was able to go get her without trouble at 11am but on the way back home the road was again blocked and to top it off Gary our road crew guy was in between us, with a plow, headed right for me. I again had to reverse it back to the square. A shorter and less harrowing trip but since I loathe driving in reverse since I suck at it, was again not pleased. My problem with reverse is that I get my left and rights all screwed up. I have had this problem all my life so I don't see it improving any. A brain malfunction. We all have problems. Today the road was cleared. More phone calls had been made on my behalf. Here is the thing. They forget that I still have to come home after I drop her off. I was coming home today and I was nearly at the top of that big hill and there was the tractor trailer truck that I swear is out for my life like something from a Steven King novel. I could see the panic in the drivers eye (we were that close even though I was driving at a snails pace because of my intrepid island car) and I knew he had trouble stopping. I had to reverse down the hill and I tried to get back up to sneak past him. The car didn't want to make the hill. Reverse some more and try again. Make the top and can see, no room. Crap. Reverse again nearly a quarter of a mile to a slight space to hug the side of the road while he barrels past. I get slightly stuck since I am really in a snow filled ditch covered in ice. Engine begins to smoke but I get out and make it home. I am beginning to think I would rather go without the cleaning money to get these guys away from me, along with the killer truck.

Logging



Where you can see all the foot tracks is our fire road, not an "official" road but wide enough, if not properly maintained, for our fire truck and ambulance. This all used to be covered in trees. In the summer they would be hanging over the road for beautiful shade. You could only see the sky as the wind shifted the trees. Now it's a barren waste land. I need to find pics from before to show the comparison.



The highest point on the island. You were not able to see the ocean from here before. Shocking.

Irony? Tragedy?

After I posted all those links yesterday about our school and all the improvements we have done for it, today I got a link in my email about the city thinking of closing our school. Our island school has been very proactive. Things like our computers, ipad, smart board, green house, even supplies like tissues and writing utensils have been provided by grants we have submitted for ourselves, donations and fundraising. Our school even won an award for using the lowest amount electricity in the state. Now before you say, "well, you are a tiny school so...", this was calculated out by previous usage and other math stuff to be fair for all schools. We have to supply our own drinking water after the well became contaminated and it is volunteers not the school budget that is paying to have it taken care of. Basically, our island pays the highest taxes for the city due to all the waterfront or water view homes and we get pretty much zip in return. We are lucky to get the salaries for employees here. One teacher, one Ed Tech, one custodian and one sanitation/road works person. It costs $120,000 to have our school. We pay over $350,000 in taxes. Most of the school costs are the teachers salaries and the custodian. We pay for our own building maintenance except the cleaning. We don't add to food costs since we have no school lunch program, the city pays for the building insurance. The PTC paid for our heating, siding, playground (with a grant) and replacement windows. We should be getting more not less. The whole island gets less than the rest of the city. We have talked of leaving the city before but with only about 60 of us here year round it would be tough. I would like to though to see the city lose a huge chunk of taxes then see how they like it. We still have dirt roads here (which we like) and yet have to every year get more and more regulated by the city. They want us to have street signs now and we recently had to start paying for registrations for our golf carts (more money to the city). No wonder the city runs out of money. Anyway, I am just ranting. If they try and close the school we may just go private. We have talked about it before as a backup plan to the city closing the school. We will be having four kids coming into the school over the next few years and there are five in there now. The school has gone down to one student before and that was really bad, around 15 years ago. One of the other island schools our school communicates to only has two students and they are brothers. A constant struggle for a disappearing way of life. So sad. I understand the need to cut costs but we pay our way for our school and then some.



The article was wrong about the number of students. We have five officially enrolled (Sofie is one of them) with three younger students who are there every day preparing for preschool next year so we have eight there everyday.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011






On the left I have added some links. All of the pictures above can be found in various places in the links. I added the Cliff school's web page, the island's web page which has some other links in it (check out lobster tales), link to the schools YouTube page with lots of their videos and projects and two weather links. One is a camera set to a view of our wharf which refreshes every 5 minutes or so so you can see what the weather is doing and if the boat is here...:), the other is a blog link to a site that connects some of the outer island schools study of the weather sponsored by the Island Institute. These schools also communicate to each other via the smart board for group activities like book group discussions. These groups also got together for the middle school retreat Cade went to a few weekends ago. Lot's of stuff to look through and revisit.


A little explanation of the above pics.

Pic 1 at the top - Taken the first year we moved here. Cade was still 2 almost three. Sofie wasn't even a glimmer. This was the largest class the school has had since we have been here. Back row: Judy (teacher), Lynn (5th grade, now 19, college student, has a job and boyfriend), Will M. (5th grade, the "other" Will; 18 and also in college. He had to take the rest of the semester off due to illness but will be back in the fall; currently on island and Connor's "bro"), Faith (Will's mom and Ed Tech at the time). Next row: Noah (5th grade, 18 and college student, his family moved off island due to due father's cancer, he passed several years ago, in contact with Connor via facebook), Chris (4th grade, Lynn's younger brother, high school senior), Will (4th grade), Jessica (3rd grade, now a junior, currently living off island in town but moving back this summer, has "the witch" for English and despises her), Bottom row: Andrew (2nd grade, Lynn, and Chris's younger brother, elder siblings to Aiden who I babysit, all the older siblings moved off island to live with their dad but Andrew is moving back good friend with Connor), Sam (kindergarten, now is 8th grade and goes to the same school as Cade), Dylan (kindergarten, also in 8th grade at the same school, younger brother to Jessica), Connor (2nd grade).

Pic 2 - Dylan (1st grade) and Will (5th grade) on a geography assignment. Cade uses that coat now.

Pic 3 - Olivia coming to school this year.

Pic 4 - Summer time on the other side of the island from our house. A nice place to relax.

Pic 5 - Our Post Office (cross fingers)

Pic 6 - Will holding a crab (5th grade)

Monday, February 7, 2011

Confirmed

The girl from Cade's school passed away Friday evening. She did commit suicide by hanging. Her parents found her only seconds afterwords but the damage was too much and she only deteriorated until she finally passed. What a sad and terrible tragedy.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Has anybody checked the school web page lately? There are a lot of interesting video clips. I will post a link on the sidebar so I won't keep doing it here...:) The xmas party play is on there. It was so cute. Anyway, the above picture was taken before that last two huge snowstorms. You can only see the snowman's head now the rest of him is buried in snow. This winter has been interesting. I am not complaining at all. It reminds me of winters when I was a kid. Lot's of snow and lots of days below zero for good ice to harden on the lakes. It had been warmer and not as much fun in recent years. I figure if it's going to be cold and bothersome then there better be something to show for it like good ice for skating and enough snow for playing in. In the above pic, left to right from the back: Olivia; Mr. Snowman; Pop Pop (the school teachers dad, all the kids have adopted him as another grandpa); Second row: Elwen; Julian; Aiden; Bottom: Eliza; Kai; Sofie.


The bad, last Wednesday a girl at Cade's school (8th grade) was rushed to the hospital and is now in critical care. She did herself significant harm. Afterwords, (another reason why I despise facebook) some kids at the school got on her page and started leaving nasty comments about what she had done. I don't know why she did what she did, rumors of some bullying have been circulating. Certainly what's going on now supports that. Cade was rather upset. Shocked would be the better word. He had tears in his eyes telling me about it. Another girl who lives here on the island was in the same class and was also stunned. The other mom and I talked about it Friday and what we could do as far as talking things out with our kids. Cade of course had thought back on what he went through seeing his dad try and hang himself. At this point no one knows what the girl at school did but her intent was serious. She is on life support. There was some frank talk about the whole subject. The whole thing is just so sad. To top it off, this morning Cade said he heard that her parents took her off life support this morning and that she passed away. I hope it's just a rumor.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Tired

I have realized that when I am tired and have a headache I can get nasty. Not outwardly but in my thoughts. If I have one or the other I am ok but combined it's a nasty mix.


I had to bring the kids to town for a visit with Sean. I didn't sleep much last night because Sofie was having growing pains and we were all out of pain reliever so all I could do was have heat on her knees. Cade used the last of the kids medicine last week. He fell on the ice and smacked his head pretty hard. He was fine at first but he developed a headache and I had to keep him home a day from school to rest for a slight concussion. Will also stayed home that day because he also slipped on the hill and rolled to the bottom twisting his already bad knee. Both are fine now. So, I left with Sofie on the noon boat figuring if I had to go in anyway I might as well get a few groceries. Still, I wouldn't have gone and waited until Monday (because Connor has a session) to shop but Cade had to stay after school to make up a quiz he missed that day he was out. He could of taken the late bus but I figured I could pick him up since I was going to be in town anyway. However, if Sean had called or emailed or something this morning I would have just stayed home and had let Cade take the bus to the bay lines and come home. I am sure by now you can guess Sean was not waiting to pick up the kids this afternoon. We waited until the last minute but nothing. I called home and asked Connor if his dad had called. No. I got home and checked my email. Nothing. Then around 7:30 he calls. I also had to deal with Sofie throwing a tantrum about not wanting to go "over there" which brought on the first feelings of my now increasing headache. He asked me if I had gotten his message. I said no. I took the noon boat into town. He said he had called (no messages btw) and that he had no way to get a hold of me. I reminded him I don't have a cell phone. Then he said he didn't have Cade's cell number either. So? Cade would have had it anyway not me. I didn't point that out but who needs logic anyway? He asked to speak with Cade and when he was done they hung up. No explanations for me at all. I was really pissed. Still, I didn't ask Cade anything. That would be bad and bringing him in the middle of us "not communicating". I was going to ask what happened but he hung up before I could. Since I am a fool and like throwing things like the benefit of doubt around like candy I figured something important must have come up. For a few seconds I even thought maybe someone had to go to the hospital or something, maybe the car died? Will wondered if his dad had had an accident. Connor said even he did he wouldn't care. Will said he wouldn't either but maybe that was the reason. I was too tired and my head was pounding too hard to comment at all at their cruel and bitter words. To not care if their dad was to die in a car wreak? Are things so very bad? Cade then said his dad told him he was sick and so was everyone over there. All of them were throwing up non stop all day, even the baby. So, Sean made a good call to not have the kids come over. I felt bad. Until Cade told me they have been sick since the day before yesterday. He knew they were all sick so he should have just have let me know yesterday. It's all stupid to even bother over or get mad about. I realize that. Still, as I said, headache and tired don't care about that. I wasn't able to do any school work today and I really needed to. I am mad at the waste of my time. I am mad Sofie had to get so upset. I just need to go to bed. Things will be better tomorrow.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Too Much....

Things have been whirling around at quite a pace recently. I have been remiss in a few things and so have gotten behind. I am really struggling to keep up with my school work. My mind is so full I am having trouble focusing on the material. I am getting it done but if I am retaining it is a different question.


Monday was a big day. Connor and I met with his school counselor and principal to come up with a plan. To make a long story short I am going to home school him for the short term, for the rest of this trimester for sure. The goal is to get all his grades to passing from the first trimester, leaving the second to summer school and hopefully getting him back in school for the third. This in between time is hoping he will be adjusting to meds and therapy with the goal of getting him through this rough patch. After that visit we went on to his therapy session. He was quickly referred to a pdoc in their group who could take him sooner rather than later. That was supposed to be Wednesday. We had a blizzard that day so it was rescheduled for the 16th. I was really angry that it has to be so far out. That date of the 2nd was perfect. Too bad life isn't perfect and I spent most of yesterday shoveling instead. Anyway, on Tuesday I did all the paper work for the state and school for homeschooling. Thankfully I have done it before so I wasn't clueless. Then I emailed all his teachers asking them to fully inform me of what he had been doing and what he needed "exactly" to get his credits for that first trimester so we could move forward. As of today no one has responded. I am going to call later today the school counselor and let her know of the lack of response and ask for her email as well. She really is my go to person at the school at this point. I used to have a great contact with his crew leader last year but now his crew leader is a person neither Connor or I trust. We talked about this with the principal on Monday and he agreed that if Connor comes back for the third trimester that he can get a new crew leader. Sadly, this crew leader is his English teacher so we have no choice but to work with him. Connor just can't at all so it's all me. Speaking of English, Connor told me that during that first trimester he had to write journal entries and be involved in class discussion for a book. That all sounded fine. He didn't have a problem with that. Kathryn felt which of course then Sean felt Connor should instead of writing the journal entries write a 26 page essay instead to "get a better grade" and wouldn't let Connor do anything else. Now this school has a pass fail system. No A,B,C,D,F thing. 1 and 2 is fail, 3 and 4 is pass. Connor would have gotten a 3 just doing as he was told by his teacher. All that extra work maybe could have gotten him a 4 except he didn't do what was actually assigned. He got a 3 for his effort which was nice but the whole thing burned Connor. Now he thinks no matter how much effort he puts in the best he can do is a 3. He thinks he should be in a school where he can get "C's" which is all he is capable of. I am well aware this is the depression talking because he has always been able to get B's or higher with little effort. Telling him this however is fruitless right now. He isn't in a place to "get it". I hope we can get really started by tomorrow.

I went to the post office yesterday to drop of some bills (ouch), while I was there Anna (our postmaster) told me there was an opening for fill in postmaster for her and did I want to apply? Duh. I had to do everything online at home. I have no idea if anyone else is going to apply (I hope not) but I did and if I get it then I will working every Saturday from 8am until 1pm and any days Anna has off for vacation or for conferences. No benefits sadly but it would put me in the running to be the postmaster when she retires. That would be nice. Too many what if's right now. I am not even crossing my fingers. The thing that is in my favor is that I live here.

There is of course lots of "other stuff" going on. So much I am tired just thinking about it. Right now, I am going to make myself a pot pie and snuggle with Sofie while she watches a movie and I do my school reading. Multitasking is my new middle name.

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