Friday, December 31, 2010

Thursday, December 30, 2010







1 - Sofie after opening her secret santa gift. 2 - Graham Cracker houses made at the craft fair. 3 - School Play from left, Olivia (standing), Eliza, Kai, Sofie and Aiden. 4 - Connor eating veggie lasagna and Will's elbow. The "other brother" Will across the table with his girlfriend. 5 - Sofie with her secret santa gift a princess doll and horse. 6 - Cade with his jingle bells for the kids march around the hall. 7 - Sofie getting ready for the march

Tears

It's been a quiet week so far. I have been catching up on my school work and spending some time for myself. Still, feeling a little stuffy and blowing my nose I have been resting and sleeping in which has been so wonderful. I feel a little spoiled. Especially last night. The power went out and there was nothing else to do but go to bed anyway. We got power back sometime during the night so we never got cold at all. On another note, I did put all the Christmas decorations away though so I have been doing something.


I have been missing Sofie and Cade though. You never think you would miss squabbling and loud noises but you do. Connor, Will and I were hanging out in the living room talking about this and that and watching some tv when the phone rang. The fact Connor was hanging out with us and not squirreled away in his room was a pretty big deal. A good sign. Connor handed me the phone and Cade was on the other end. He quickly told me without preamble Sofie was having a real tough time ever since she got to their dad's and finally snapped. He said she was screaming at them and told off Kathryn, her daughter and even the little toddler saying how they were brats and witches and mean and how she hated them. Just screaming. I could hear her crying in the background and Cade said how Sean just told her to apologize to them and sent her to her room. Cade got her and brought her to his room and held her while she cried then called me with the phone I had given him because she was calling for me and wouldn't stop. He gave her the phone. He had said all this info very fast so I was feeling kind of shocked. I could barely understand her she was so choked up. She said how much she missed me and how she loved me so much. Then she said, "I hate this family. I don't ever want to come back." She said she couldn't come home for three more days and she asked that when she did come back to never have to go back to "this horrible place ever again." All I could to was tell her how much I missed her and loved her and would be seeing her soon. While she was on the phone Kathryn interrupted telling her she was going to give her cucumbers on her salad for dinner. Sofie was not pleasant to her at all. Sofie viciously told her, "Get out of my face! I hate cucumbers!" I have never, never heard her have so much venom in her voice before. Kathryn left for obvious reasons. Later on Cade told me his dad had tried to force feed Sofie peas the day before by holding her mouth open with his hand then stuffing them in her mouth with his other hand. The reaction was predicable. She threw up all over him. She is four and I won't sugar coat it and say she is a great eater. She can be picky but when she is feeling well with no cold or flu she is perfectly willing to try new things and retry things she hasn't liked in the past. I always make sure to have the healthy things I know she likes available and then have her sample what we eat. So, let's say we are having peas and squash. Peas something I already know she doesn't like and squash is the new item. I will also have raw carrots which I know she loves as a back up veggie I know she will eat. I will have her try the peas. One or two, plain or with light butter or something. If that's a no go then we move on the the new veggie. If she likes it great, if not then it goes on the keep trying until she finally likes it list. Sometimes it how it is prepared that makes all the difference with someone. Will hates squash with a passion but he isn't a picky eater at all. We all have things we don't like. Still, I found one kind, prepared a specific way that he really likes. I do the raw carrots because Cade and Sofie love them raw but despise them cooked. Connor and Will prefer them cooked. Trial and error but worth it to make sure your kids eat a healthy meal. To force feed a kid? Well, not worth the mess when the puke on you. I can see it leading to an eating disorder, especially for a girl. If they are really hungry they will eat. If you make sure the choices are all healthy ones then there won't be much of a choice. Sean asked Cade if I force feed her too. Cade told him I didn't of course. Then said, "You should have given her green beans. She likes those." Cade failed to tell him she only likes them french style. See? Kids are weird. Anyway, I found out despite the whole pea fiasco they were having salad and split pea soup for dinner. Split pea. I wonder if Sofie ate anything after we hung up. Going back and forth between them I was on the phone for an hour. Sofie asked for Willy and Connie to speak with them as well. Will also could barely understand her. She kept asking for me periodically to make sure I was still there and have me reassure her she was not going to stay there forever and would be home soon. She said she wanted to snuggle with me and told me to not to watch any movies until she got home so we could watch them together. It was such a heartbreaking call. I felt so helpless. I couldn't hug her or dry her tears. Just awful. I asked Cade how he was doing and he said, "I'm managing. I have Sofie and my gameboy so I'm good. I am in my room mostly or playing with Sofie." He knew he had to give Sofie extra support just from him. It's sad he is so aware he has to do that and yet so sweet and kind that he does and isn't pushing her away which he could. He is only 11 after all.

On other news, Sean agreed and signed the court papers and sent them to my lawyer. I have to go into town and sign them with a witness and everything will be set. We won't have to go back to court. Sean is held to a stricter agreement concerning what he owed and the consequences. I am waiting to hear back from my lawyer now about coming into town tomorrow to sign them. I only found out about the papers this morning so I hope they will be open tomorrow.

Good news, bad news....same ol' same ol' I guess.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Well, the snow wasn't too bad out here. The wind is pretty bad but we didn't lose power and for me that's all that matters. We had maybe five inches or so. It was light and easy to shovel. Good thing since I did it myself. Will can't go out into the cold at all or he starts coughing continuously. He had bronchitis. He is much better but he still has random coughing fits. We had to use a neighbors nebulizer to help his breathing out. I should have just kept the one Sean had. He said he was cured of asthma when he left here and left it behind. I guess he thought when he was leaving this life here with his family he was cured all all aliments, bipolar and asthma. Well, I sent him his inhalers and the nebulizer. I should have kept it for Will and Sean should have dealt with the consequences of his insanity and bought a new one for himself. I will have to see about getting one for the rare times Will should need it. I am too darn nice for my own good sometimes. Anyway, Connor was sound asleep and I didn't want to wait for him so I just went out and shoveled myself. I needed to start the car to keep the sketchy battery functional and get the trash cans which we put out the night before. I took my time and did a little bit at a time and it was fine. My nose is still a little runny so I had to come in a blow my nose anyway. My cold was really nasty just before xmas and I was feeling pretty bad. Christmas day though I was feeling much better. We had a nice day. I had to bring Sofie and Cade in that afternoon though and they won't be back until Saturday. Sofie was beside herself not wanting to go. Cade didn't want to go either. On Will's birthday (the 23rd, he's 18 now!) Sean called and asked to speak with Cade. Then he asked to speak to Sofie. Then he hung up. Cade said his dad told him they were going to go to Boston to visit Kathryn's relatives. Cade had no desire to to that. So Sean was going to pick them up on Christmas and leave them with his parents. He was supposed to come back on Monday. Let's hope he had brains enough not to drive in the storm. Especially if he changed his mind and brought the kids with him anyway. Who knows? Sean never asked to speak with Will to wish him a happy birthday. I thought for sure when I dropped the kids off Sean would have given me presents to give Will and Connor. He gave Will a card at least last year and sent two for Connor. Even though one was something Connor already owned and Sean just wrapped it and a used book it was something. He had nothing for them and I didn't ask. I am always surprised that he can still shock me. I will say though I am getting delayed reactions. I didn't even realize until I was back on the boat for home he hadn't given me anything. Maybe he will send something back this Saturday. You never know. Really, with Sean you never know.


Speaking of unpredictability, court. It was interesting to say the least. Sean didn't show up. He did send an email to my lawyer saying he was fine with the case being withdrawn and agreed to pay the taxes he owed me and back medical bills with his tax return. However, since he wasn't there the judge didn't want to put anything in an order without him being there. So, sadly we have to go back again. The plan in place now is that if he doesn't come next time then the case will be dismissed with prejudice and an order of enforcement will be put in place for the money issues. I don't know when we will go back. February maybe? Sean could sign a notarized order agreeing to the terms and we won't have to go back. I hope that is what happens. If he doesn't then we will seek lawyers fees as well. I thought how tiring it was that I had to go into town and pay for a sitter while Sean did as he pleased. Also, the mediator who showed up never got paid either so her time was wasted. Such a waste when we could have ended everything that day. Still, I am very, very happy he is backing off finally. Connor is doing better and not withdrawn. I have a meeting set up for next week with his school counselor. Hopefully we can find a solution to his anxiety and school issues to get him back on track academically. You know what I also find bothersome? Sean was so focused on Connor and his homework he wasn't even looking at our other kids at all. Cade told him he made honor roll (which was a struggle the last week before grades closed I can tell you) and Sean had no idea. He was shocked. If Cade hadn't told him he would have never even had asked how he was doing. I don't know if I should feel good Sean is confident in my parenting ability or angry at his neglect.

I have been away from the computer for a while. When I was feeling bad just looking at the screen made my head hurt. I am trying to get back into the swing of things and I hope be more attentive to all those who have been supporting me....:)

Thanks everyone and Happy Holidays!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

I caught Sofie's cold. Here I was thanking the stars above I never got "really" sick with that stomach bug that hit the kids last week other than one nasty day and a few other days were I felt a little tired. Last night I began sniffing. This morning I am a leaky faucet and so very sleepy. I was feeling pretty good yesterday morning though. Which is a good thing since I just got a job cleaning two houses that are being rented by FEMA loggers while they are out here on the island. Cleaning up after all those men though isn't exactly easy. They leave for the weekends so I was at one house for about four hours yesterday which wasn't too bad. I was there while Sofie was at school on Friday for 2 hours just doing dishes and cleaning counter tops. Seriously. It will help me get through the winter though. I am not babysitting for a while. Lobster season is over for the mom I work for and she is training now for another job so until she is done with that I am out of work too. Luckily when I do babysit again I can still do the cleaning while the kids are at school so I don't have to pick jobs.


I took some cold medicine a little while ago so I am feeling a little better and I am now online doing some school work. I didn't do anything yesterday and I am a bit behind. I was supposed to take Cade in for a therapy session tomorrow but if I still feel lousy I will cancel and just do homework all day instead. I have court on Tuesday and I can't miss that. I can't do any school work that day either because I have to take the morning boat to make the 1:15 court time. It stinks I couldn't take the noon but I don't control court times. I will do my Christmas shopping instead. I went to goodwill last week and I have the dollar store to go to next. I got some money from an island charity just for the kids so I will get them all something nice. I would use my laptop in town but the battery is dead. I need to buy a new one since the one I have now won't hold a charge and finding outlets is pretty tricky. I will need to get everything finished by tomorrow.

Wish me luck for Tuesday and that Sean gives up. I pray he just goes away. Once and for all. I would love to live a mentally ill free life for a little while.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

So it begins.....

True things have been a bit depressing around here lately outside of the party. Since we have all been in various stages of stomach flu or cold/cough it has been kind of rough. Will is still home. He was fighting a fever all day yesterday and was throwing up this morning. He seems a bit better now and is getting some math done over the internet. Nice. Cade is top notch and is off at school. Sofie went to school yesterday but is home today again because she is coughing and her nose is a like a leaky faucet. Then there is Connor. He went to school yesterday then missed the boat home because when he got off the bus he had to run to the bathroom to throw up. He had to wait for the next ferry. He got home and was exhausted. I realized however it wasn't all physical. He said he needed some fresh air and went for a walk. He should have been home by 8pm but didn't get back until 9:30. He was at a friends house here on the island talking some things out. Now, it is a good thing he has someone I trust he can turn to. Missing his bedtime though is a serious issue. It is one of the first things that gets messed up when he gets depressed. He told me before he went to bed that his ex girlfriend (the one he moved away from here for, who subsequently cheated on him, then spread vile rumors about him because he didn't want to smoke and drink with her and her pals) came up to him yesterday telling him she wanted to be friends again and he didn't know how to handle that. He was vague at first which ex he talked to so I had to be blunt and just ask. Then he mumbled her name. What concerns me is how he is having trouble coping with stress. This is obviously upsetting to him and I won't downplay that. The fact it sets him in a tailspin though is not healthy. He was lethargic and mumbly. He then missed the boat this morning and slept until 9am. Close to 12 hours. He ate but was looking very pale. I know he is still feeling under the weather from the stomach flu and I am sure that is a huge contributing factor. It really hit him hard. I am actually glad he stayed though because I don't him throwing up in town again. All his assignments are online so he can still get his work done. Still, he is moody. I can tell he wants nothing more than to be friends again with this girl but his mind knows better. So, we will see.


As for me, aside from a little queasiness from time to time I am doing fine. I had my two classes last night. One of my classes sounds like I am being taught by a valley girl. If she said uh..ummm....one more time I was going to rip my hair out. She is going to teach me to be an effective communicator? *snicker* Watch I will fail that class now.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Sleepy

Being up with Sofie two nights in a row cost me. I had tummy troubles myself on Thursday. I was in town as well so that was awful. I was so wiped out when I got home. I even fell asleep in Cade's lap at the bay lines waiting for the ferry. He was sweet and patted my head. All the boys put all the groceries and other things I had bought for the island party away for me. Connor said I had a long day and should rest. Are they trying to butter me up for Christmas? :)


Friday was a nightmare though. Connor got the bug and was throwing up even though he felt fine the day before. Will and Cade had something completely different and had sore throats and congestion. They are both fine now. Cade was feeling better by Saturday morning. Will by Saturday afternoon. Connor seemed ok but threw up last night again. He did at least feel good for the party and had a good time. He hugged me at the end of it and said he was glad he was there. We got to take home a huge leftover salad, a whole lasagna, rolls and extra pie. I froze the lasagna though because I know we won't be able to eat it all with us all feeling sketchy over food right now. My tummy still gets sharp pains from time to time and I fight off nausea off and on. I never threw up though thank the heavens. I did have nasty back pain though. Just totally exhausted. I am glad I motivated myself to do school work on Wednesday because I haven't done a thing since. I still have stuff to complete but I did enough so I am not freaking out.

Cade had a friend out last night and he came to the party. Being out here was a bit of a shock I think. He is quite a shy boy. He asked Cade what kind of school lunches they had out here at his old school. Cade said ,"Homemade!" We all laughed at that since we were at the dinner at the time and it was not just our family there but two others. Cade explained it all to his friend who was kind of wide eyed. Then it was time for the play. Sofie had only one practice because she had been out sick all week and hadn't been on stage except once that very morning for a quick rehearsal. I wasn't sure they would be able to pull it off but they did great! All of us mom's were shocked I think. The preschool kids were supposed to be extra help hired at the last minute to help Santa and they hated the work and quit so they left the stage and the other elves tried to lure them back with money which didn't work, then whoopie pies which also didn't work then finally with tickets to Cliff Island (the best place in the world) which worked and they scrambled back on stage. Sofie then shouted she wanted the whoopie pies too. Everyone laughed. After that they did a little dance to the tune of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. The preschool kids did the echos. The part when they sing. "All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names." Sofie shouted, "Like Connor!" Poor Connor. Everyone laughed and snickered at him. He was shaking his head and smiling. Afterword people came up and clapped his back and told him it was ok that we all liked him. We sang songs and Santa came. Sofie was totally fooled. She got a little princess doll and pony. Will got a gift card to a mexican place in the Old Port which is amazing. Connor got $20 which pleased him immensely. I got a bottle of wine and a chocolate bar. Cade got Swedish fish and some other things but it was the candy they impressed him the most. He thought he knew who the gift was from but we pointed out everyone on the island knows his favorite candy is Swedish fish so it could have been from anyone. Sofie was so funny thanking everyone even Santa. I took a bunch of pictures but I have to find the cord to upload them from Will's camera. It was the most relaxing party I have been to since we have been here. I am not sure why. Maybe I don't care as much. I don't know but it was nice. There was a lot of people there. The one woman I haven't spoken too for a while came up to me and asked about the kids. She has been avoiding me because she knows darn well I am not happy with her for having Sean and his new family out to her summer home out here. I answered her questions of course. I am not rude. She said, "I see the kids are really happy here with you." I said, "Yes, yes they are, they all know this is their home." I looked her right in the eye and she nodded. It's her husband who knows Sean and is acquainted with him. I try and understand her position to not have conflict with him about all of this as well. I know next summer they will be here again and until it stops I won't exactly be very friendly like I was before. I didn't let it bother me though. It wasn't the time.

I was able to see the lawyer on Thursday and we have our plan for the court date on the 21st. We are just going to ask that the divorce agreement we already have stay in place and the case be dismissed. Connor is back home and "voted with his feet" as he did before when I let him go. It was the only thing Sean could site as a change of circumstance and now that's gone. If Sean still wants to fight it then we will ask for lawyer's fees as well. If it does wind up going to trial then we are looking for this to go on until maybe March or April. Also the fact of Sean wanting to move away for no other reason that that his wife likes the other area is only reinforcing his inability of being able to provide support for his kids. Not a money issue but nurturing support.

I had better get off the computer now. The screen makes me queasy.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Classes for my next semester start today. I am trying to get back into the feel of studying again even after only a week or so off. It will be interesting with things being so busy with Christmas coming up and all the extra appointments this month. I am going to do my best not to stress out about it.

Today Sofie is still feeling under the weather. She has stopped throwing up but it could be because she isn't eating. She has a slight fever and she is now saying her throat hurts. Tomorrow all the other moms who could watch her are also going into town t so I am in a pinch again. Will said he may take the day to be with her if she isn't better. He has college applications he has to fill out and can get all of that done. The boys didn't do any chores at all yesterday and I suppose I should be annoyed about that but things got sidetracked when Connor asked me questions for an interview he needed in is healthy living class. It was about any bad experiences I have had with drugs and alcohol. I have lived a pretty dull life so I didn't have much to say. I did recount a few things but I really had to think and scrape the bottom of the barrel. I had them all laughing though. In the course of it all Connor mentioned how his dad drinks every single night now. He didn't seem thrilled about that. Connor did say his dad isn't getting drunk every night however as far as he can tell but he was drunk a quite a few times in the three months Connor was there. Connor said his dad throws up every time. Ahh, memories. Connor also said he knew about the moving plan to Bath since they were talking about it while he was still there. I didn't ask him but I now that I think about it I wonder what that would have meant for Connor if he was still living with Sean? That would have meant changing schoosl unless Sean was willing to pay the out of district tuition for Connor to stay where he is. I also wonder if that was another reason Connor came home? I will have to ask I suppose. Anyway, back to to school work. At least with Sofie sick she is immobile. Easy to take care of but she is driving me crazy by not eating. At least she is drinking well.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Moving?

I have had two hours of sleep and have a huge headache. I had trouble falling asleep last night. Now I can only assume it was some kind of spidey sense tingling because Sofie started throwing up around 12:30. This was of course after I had gotten up at 11pm thinking I was going to be a mess if I didn't get any sleep and took a sleeping pill. I had to battle to stay awake since she kept getting up to throw up and her knees were hurting as well. Finally around 4am I fell asleep and then she got up around 6am. The pill I took made me feel queasy and I kept bumping into things for a few hours but it finally wore off. Now I am just so very tired. Thankfully she is napping now I think the worst if over. Maybe she ate something bad?


One thing that had been plaguing my sleep deprived mind was a conversation I had with Cade last night. He told me his dad was moving. I narrowed my eyes at this because Sean hasn't said anything to me about it and with the whole court business going on you would think something like that would be mentioned. In any case I asked Cade if he had overheard this or did his dad actually tell him that. He said that both his dad and the current wife sat down with him and the other kids and told them they were going to sell the house and move to either Bath or Bangor/Oreno. It all seems a confused muddle since Sean is applying for a full time job in a nearby town and of course she is settled in her job. To move to Bath isn't too far out of consideration since it is about an hour's drive away from Portland Still, they live less than five minutes from her job and her daughter's school. Why move? If they go further north than it is a 2 1/2 hour drive. Boston is closer than that. They are working with ReMax apparently so something is in the works. I can't help but wonder how this will affect Sean's ability to go to school conferences and doctors appointment for the kids. It isn't like he does it much now but I can see everything ending at that point. Unless of course he plans on having them live with him. This could be a good thing or a bad thing. I am not sure what to think. What about visitations? What a mess it will turn out to be.

The dentist called and Will is going to need his wisdom teeth pulled. I went to break the news to him about taking them now or waiting an having to deal with nerve pain. He asked me if he was still covered under Kathryn's dental insurance. I said yes. He then asked if he waited until after graduation if he waited if he would have to pay for it himself? I said yes. So, he told me to set it up right away and bill her. Self preservation at it best I suppose.


Monday, December 6, 2010

It's 10am and I have only just finished breakfast. I had some chores to do before I got Sofie off to school then I was on the phone for about an hour. Time flies. It was all Christmas party stuff and about play practices and when to set up tables and decorations, getting all the food ready for about 80-100 people. Since it is only three moms and some volunteers it can get a little crazy. Fun though. Not stressful. What will stress me out is if Sofie decides to get too shy to get on stage this year. She is so outgoing you wouldn't think it would be a problem but there you have it.


Sean didn't get off the boat with the kids again yesterday. I really do wonder why. A few people came up to me this time and commented on how unengaged he is with them. He hardly spoke to either of them the whole boat ride and they sat away from him with friends instead. It is strange to say the least. It's been a while since I have had people come up to me to ask about his behavior and wonder if something was going on with him (other than the obvious) with concern. I don't know what this means other than I am not the only one who is seeing this.

I didn't get the xmas stuff out yesterday. I wasn't feeling very well. I am not sick though. Just female issues that required some Tylenol and involved hissing when I had to walk anywhere. So, I didn't do a whole lot. I am going to make an attempt this afternoon after Sofie's nap and delve into abyss for some store bought cheer. Wish me luck.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Cliff Island School Times


It's only 5pm and I am so done for the day. I cleaned up the basement today. It still needs a little work but overall a success. Connor now has room to set up his drum set and fix up the old bikes. I also have room for the grill which we will drag down there tomorrow for the winter. Snow will be flying soon so I have to get moving. Tomorrow I plan on digging around for the xmas decorations. I feel a little bit more like celebrating than last year and yet I am still feeling sick to my stomach thinking about having to go to court on the 21st. I hope Santa sends Sean a huge lump of coal this year for this huge mess he made, or better yet, something more disgusting than coal. DHHS hit him hard this November. I got the normal withholding payment and the additional one he had been making for a while which was a deal he had made with DHHS to get current but stopped paying because we are in the court process and he felt he didn't have to may anymore. (idiot) They also then took two big payments of nearly $500 a piece. I will also get another payment this coming week for December. I was very thrilled to see all the money in my account. Of course it isn't all he owes but at least it means we can have a small xmas this year and I can also pay the rent! It's nice when you don't have to make terrible choices. I also finally got my new software I ordered from my school yesterday so I installed it on one of the computers. The one I primarily use for my school work. I will try and find some time to do the other one soon. I am feeling a bit run down and achy though so I am now finished with all the running around. Next weekend will be very busy. I am having company, Cade wants to invite a few friends (where will I put everyone?) and the island xmas party is next Saturday. I have only bought one secret Santa gift so far and have four more to get. Thankfully I use the dollar store and creativity to make the magic happen. I will not think any more about all that now. Now I am going to make some dinner and relax....:)

Friday, December 3, 2010

Not too Shabby

So my final grades were 98 and 99. I know I shouldn't be upset at those kinds of grades but the mistakes I made were foolish ones. Other than that I am pretty happy. Don't expect me to tell about any future grades though. I don't want to jinx myself.


I have to take Sofie into town today to see her dad. When I told her we were going to take the afternoon boat she put her hands on her hips and scowled and said, "I thought I told you I wasn't going to go back there ever again!" Well, just tell me how you really feel. I can't wait for the teen years.

Connor is home today finally struck down by the virus he has been fighting off to a week. Headache, nausea, dizziness and exhaustion. He crawled out of bed long enough to take a shower and eat then slinked back in. Thank goodness it is the weekend so he hopefully will only miss today. I can hear Sean screaming in my head right now.

Time to settle Sofie for a quick nap before we hop on the boat.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

So, my first semester is officially over. Now I am just waiting to see how the final projects did and how that will changes my overall grade. In the meantime I will be starting the next semester next week. I am a bit nervous. The books for my next two classes came in the mail Tuesday. The web design class looks pretty intimidating. One step at a time I guess.


I am sipping some leftover mulled cider Will made for dessert last night and I am finding it quite relaxing even at 7am. I have already been up for two hours anyway and have finally sat down for a few minutes to myself before I take Sofie to school. She is getting dressed and watching some Christmas specials I recorded for her last night. It is excited to see her really enjoy them for the first time. Some she has seen some of them before but wasn't really able to sit through them. She watched the Peanuts Thanksgiving special a few days ago I had also recorded with the little boy I babysit and they just laughed and laughed. It was so much fun to watch.

I was able to get a lot of errands done on Tuesday in town. I dropped off a paper with DHHS making sure they know that Will, even though he will be turning 18 will still be in school until June so the child support will still be collected. Also, my root canal is finally done. I still have to go back again next week to cap it off. I can't afford a crown but at least my dentist will be doing the next part for free. That will be a busy day. I have the dentist, Connor's therapy, Cade's therapy, then an appointment with my lawyer. The lawyer visit time might change. He is in court in a murder trial right now. He was on the news. *shiver* I also have to fit some time to go to the grocery store and get some supplies for the island xmas party. I am making my pumpkin cheesecake again.

I am feeling really tired today for some reason. I worked pretty much non-stop yesterday so maybe that's it. I am babysitting this afternoon so I had better get motivated.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Let's Decompress

Kids came home yesterday. Sofie was a real mess. Hair all knotted up, pants that were too short, a shirt that was picked out by a crazed hippie and shoes covered in mud. Her knee hurt and she was exhausted. Cade was ok, but he had a real hissy fit later. sean again didn't walk them off the boat. I don't know what he is thinking. I changed Sofie into her jammies, got her some medicine and the warm bear for her knee and settled her in bed with her blanky, some juice and a movie. I gave her a bath later after she was feeling a little better. Cade had homework to do and used it as excuse to freak out about all the other stuff stressing him out. He threw his pencil and pulled his hair and growled and cried. His face was all red. Not coping well at all. I had to spend most of my time with him. Will cooked dinner and Connor took out the trash and got things for Sofie and for Cade which was a big help. Connor also finished off his homework by getting everything organized and writing a 27 page essay. He worked all afternoon and was very proud at the amount of stuff he did. It really is so much better when they do things on their own and feel that sense of accomplishment instead of what Sean was doing to him. On the other end of the spectrum was Cade who still does need some hovering. What I am trying to do for him now is just show him the importance of being organized and to deal with things one step at a time. He was going on and on about how hard his homework was and I had to point out he was a step ahead. How does he know how hard it is when he doesn't even know what he has to do? His agenda was blank. He of course tried to argue about everything and make excuses. So told him he could make excuses and choose to fail or when he calmed down he could ask me for help in a respectful way. I want to help him but I am not going to argue with him or be treated badly by him just because he is angry. He knows where I will be and I walked off. It took him and hour and a half of mumbling and struggling before he came to me telling me he was taking a break. I told him no. He had too much to do and he already had a break. He freaked out again and I gave him his choices again and again walked away. He came to me again and cried how he hasn't had any fun since Thursday. I told him I was sorry for that and there was going to be a lot of opportunities to have fun this week but he had already made an agreement with me last Wednesday he would be doing this homework when he got home in Sunday and I would clean out his backpack for him and organize it to make things a little easier for him. I held up my end of the bargain and now he had to do his part. Besides the amount of homework he had to do wasn't because he didn't understand it or because he hadn't passed stuff in because he was lazy but because he was so disorganized he didn't know he even had homework half the time. That is what he needs to focus on. That is step one for school success for him. He then said he was overwhelmed. I agreed he probably was but did he ask me for help? He said no of course and made excuses as to why I wouldn't help him. I pointed out I had already told him I would several times but he never came to me. Plus, he never really asked. Instead he made assumptions and excuses. That is his responsibility not mine. So he gathered his stuff and we went through it piece by piece. He was so close to having a lot of pages done but didn't even realize it. We broke it down and even though by 8pm he wasn't completely done he had about 80% of it finished. He has until Friday to get everything accomplished. I wasn't going to make him stay up past his bedtime to complete it. He saw what he had done and how easy it had been to do and felt good and a bit silly for his behavior. I told him if he hadn't behaved so poorly in the first place he could have done it all. He is staying after school today to do more work. Will and Connor both offered to help him on the boat this morning so I will find out tonight how things went. It was real nice to see the boys all work together helping each other and me. Connor even offered to talk to Cade about school and letting Cade vent his frustrations with him. Will and Connor too have been joking and talking to each other all week. It's nice to see. Connor is finally beginning to find common ground with Will and recognizing it is ok for them to not like all of the same things and enjoy the things they do without making fun of the other person for their differences. Will thank goodness is not being a smart mouth with Connor. I swear it is a big brother syndrome.


I can see seven turkeys outside my window as I type this...:)

When Sofie was finally feeling better last night she hung out with Will and Connor so Cade could focus on his work. She was so funny. She told them how much she missed them and pinched their cheeks. "Oh, my goodness how I missed you!" She is a granny already! They thought she was hilarious of course.

I can't find my little day book. I am trying not to panic and I hope I left it in the car or something. I have all my important numbers in there. I always keep it in my bag or the desk. I have to make calls this week and make appointments. Therapy for me, talk to the co parenting counselor ( I am not allowed to make appointments since it is under Sean's name), Connor's counselor and with the lawyer. I have a lot to fill him in on. I am going to the dentist tomorrow to finish off my bad tooth. Here is it Christmas and I am out of money again. I hope the kids won't be too disappointed.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Where to start?

When did I post last? I don't remember. So much has happened since then I can't keep my mind focused.


Thanksgiving. I went to my mom's with all the kids. Tuesday Cade had his therapy session then his conference. His session was rough. I had some time alone with her and I wound up crying. He had told her about what had happened with his dad and the whole stealing issue part two and that he wasn't going to go see his dad over vacation how his dad had said fine. She asked me if I had talked to Sean about it. I hadn't yet but was going to email him about me dropping the kids off that evening. She told me I should just do my "50%" and ask about the whole mess. That's what set me off. Like I don't already do that? I told her that I was feeling at a loss of how to proceed since I didn't want to get in the middle of stuff with them again. Sean hadn't emailed me about what had happened either. I had planned on just doing what I always do and keeping him informed about the drop off a day ahead of time like usual and if there was a problem he would let me know. The whole Cade issue was what I would call a problem. She said Cade had got me in the middle by asking me about wanting to stay. I said he wasn't asking me if he could stay. He told me he had an argument with his dad and that because of that he was staying. Where else would he go? All I needed to to was inform Sean of what was going on and see what he said. She agreed with that. I still broke down though because it feels like I am again doing all the work. I am in the middle again because Sean can't communicate with anyone with any shred of success. I emailed him and told him that Cade had said he wasn't going to spend the vacation with Sean and that Sean said that was fine. Is this the plan? I made sure Cade knew what I was doing because I wanted to make sure to reinforce for him that even though I believe him and trust him I am always going to make sure his dad and I are on the same page. He didn't have a problem with that and didn't seem to think much of it confident of how he and his dad had left things. When I finally got a response back Cade was shocked at what his dad said. Sean said Cade lied and that Sean had never said that and he fully expected Cade to be there. Cade called him and confronted him about it. Sean still denied they ever even discussed it. Cade tried for a bit to remind him and even repeated parts of their conversation to remind his dad to no avail. I honestly don't think Sean remembers it. He tends to have memory gaps in everyday things but especially with highly emotionally charged conversations. He was supposed to be taking a medication that might help with that given by his pdoc that has been used for Alzheimer's patients but he only picked up the prescription and never took it. So Cade then told him if he came he would need Kathryn to back off and not act like she did the last time he had fight with his dad. Sean said he didn't now what Cade was talking about and she would of course be fine. Cade started tearing up knowing he once again wasn't being heard and was being called a liar again. He said he would go despite all that just so his dad would leave him alone. I was going to drop them off at Sean's parents house and suggested to him if he wanted to talk with his dad again he should try in with his grandpa there. Sean wouldn't act like that in front of his father. Cade is too embarrassed for them to know however and didn't want to. I left it alone. I only made a suggestion and reminded him he had people he could talk to no matter what and he could call me any time on his cell phone.

Then there was Connor. On Tuesday I got an email from Sean that was rather nasty saying one of Connor's friends had called him and said Connor owed him money. Sean said he gave the kid our home number and he would be calling the house. He then said how I was shielding Connor and how he needed to be accepting responsibility for his actions. I really loved how he just assumed Connor really owed this kid money without even the benefit of the doubt. Besides, this issue, whatever it is, is between Connor and his friend and they have to deal with it. I'm not getting involved, if I did then I might be "shielding" him. So, I told Connor about the email and he said that was Kathryn word for word and shrugged it off. He tried calling his friend but didn't get through and left a message. We went on our way to my mom's. The next day we had our Thanksgiving which was nice and then went to visit Sean's parents. That was also nice. After that Will, Connor and I left and met up with a friend and her son to see the new Harry Potter movie. It is only $4 there. We got the tickets and went in. Connor got a text message just before the movie started and it was from this friend of his so he went to respond to it. Half way through the movie he still hadn't come in. I went to check on him and he was crying out in the hallway. He had managed to work things out with his friend. It was a misunderstanding on his dad's part. Connor never owed the kid money at all. The kid had sold Connor a computer and was wondering if Connor could pay a little more for it than they had agreed on (he did sell it dirt cheap) with the hopes of getting a plane ticket to see a relative. The reason Connor was so upset though was because the original text message was really nasty and Connor didn't know why. Come to find out Sean had called the kid back and then proceeded to tell him how Connor wasn't to be trusted. He was a liar and a thief. He was a manipulator and did whatever it took to get his own way. Then he told the kid all about Connor "running away" from home and all about the divorce and my bad influence. Connor was shocked and hurt his dad would do such a thing. Connor begged the kid not to tell everyone at school about everything that was going on with his dad because he didn't want everyone looking at him like he was a freak or with pity. He didn't want a bunch of rumors going around about him and didn't want his friends thinking his dad was telling the truth about all those negative things he was saying about him. He was embarrassed and humiliated. His friend said he understood and wouldn't say anything but Connor is still afraid he might let something slip. Then he opened up and told me about a bunch of other worries he had going on. It isn't a wonder his grades slipped. He is under a lot of pressure right now. He lost a lot of friends he had thought he should be hanging with and he said, "I wanted to be with them and that it was more important than being on the island so I left but they did bad things. I stood strong and didn't do what they did but that just made them mad at me and now they are spreading rumors about me." I told him sometimes doing the right thing is a hard path to follow but he knows in the long run he did the best thing for him and if they were really his friends they would have stood by him and allowed him to make his own choices. In the end he will find out who his real friends are. He agreed but he is really hurting right now. How Sean missed Connor hanging out with kids who were drinking and taking drugs really bothers me. With all of Connor's issues things could have turned out very different. I am thankful he has been listening to me all these years and didn't cave. Transitioning the way he was it isn't surprising his grades would have been borderline at best. Going from here to his dad's, changing from summer to a new school year, the change of seasons which is always problematic for him, the break up with his girlfriend (who was part of the smoking, drinking group I mentioned before), his friends pressuring him to do bad things, Kathryn's attitude and his dad's non existent protection, it's no wonder he wasn't focused. He said he just didn't feel safe and felt like he owed people so much of himself. I told him he was home now and to try and relax. Not to worry about his grades right now and instead try and focus on how he learns best and what strategies we could try that would make things easier for him. If he is having such a hard time at school with the whole rumor thing and friends issue then when he gets home he should take some time to decompress first. Take a nap, have a snack or go for a quick walk, whatever method helps him to relax, then he can focus with a clear mind on his work and not just get it done but understand what he is doing. He said his dad wouldn't let him do that. He said when he came through the door Sean wouldn't even say hi but ask him what work he had then make him sit down to start on it. He said when he comes through the door at home he is greeted with Sofie running up with a hug and screaming his name and me smiling and saying hi and asking him about his day. I offer him a drink and something to eat and he feels like he is where people miss him and care about him. He said some of the stuff he was telling me was embarrassing and hard to talk about but he felt I really cared about him and afterword he said talking to me helps him. He likes to keep his emotions and thoughts tight to the vest so that was a huge step. He agreed to talk to his counselor again so I will try and set something up next week. I told him after the Thanksgiving break he can start fresh with his school work and not to worry about money and getting a job and stuff like that. One thing at a time. I still can't fathom why Sean would tell some teenage kid all that stuff. He just made things so much worse. Also, here is one more thing that blew me away. When Sean took Cade's money last weekend Cade has asked him who the thief was now and referred to Sean taking Will's money. Kathryn told him not only did parents some times have to make tough decisions but that it was my idea and that his dad didn't want to do it but that he loved me so much he did it against his better judgement because I wanted food. Holy Crap. It was my idea? He loved me so much? This was a month before he left. How did he go from "loving me so much" to sleeping with her in less than a month? He didn't want to do it? I knew he was lying to her but please. What about the money he stole to pay rent? Most important of all, why was she telling Cade all this? Too much information and she had no business even saying anything. Sure he knows about Will's issues but not what Sean did with it or why he did it. He has asked but I have always told him it was between Will and his dad. He knows the money was taken without Will's consent but other than that he has been in the dark. Will knows it wasn't my idea. I found out about the larger chunk of money the same time he did with his bank statement. I did know about a smaller amount and told Sean to tell Will about it himself but he never did and when the bank statement revealed it I had to fess up since Sean had made me culpable. I was the one who actually spent it (not knowing where it had come from). I was really sick about it. Will was pretty sickened by her statement and shook his head.

Happy Holidays.

Monday, November 22, 2010

I think the holidays are a bad time of year for Sean. His drama always increases this time of year and it tends to spoil it for the rest of us.

I seem to recall saying the last time Sean and Cade had it out about money and stealing issues that I wasn't very pleased how it was "resolved". They agreed to disagree and drop the whole thing and just start talking again. I really felt they needed to talk the whole thing out in therapy but they never did. So, here we are again.

Cade came home yesterday and I knew something was off the second the kids got off the boat. Sean didn't even walk Sofie off and she walked off the plank by herself. I tried not to freak out since she should still be holding someones hand so she doesn't accidentally slip off and plop into the ocean. He was no where to be seen and I asked Cade if they rode alone. They didn't thank goodness but I couldn't fathom why he didn't come off no matter how mad he may be at me. I got the kids in the car and I was pulled aside by a friend who was on the boat with them and she told me he completely ignored them the whole ride until the very end when he said good bye to Sofie and said how much he was going to miss her then he just sent her on her way. My friend was the one looking after them the whole ride. I thanked her and apologized. What else could I do?

After we got home Cade seemed ok. I think he was doing well because he really popped his top with his dad this weekend. He just vomited all the stuff he had been holding in for a while. What tipped the scales wasn't the stealing issue but the fact his dad was yelling at him. Not just about the issue at hand but all kinds of things. As for that problem Sean was just screaming at Cade to admit that he stole the money. Cade refused. He tried to explain the work he had done to earn the money but Sean refused to listen. Then Kathryn stepped in and said how Cade wasn't going to admit anything and was according to Cade being sarcastic. So, Cade paused for a second, and then yelled at them both to, "Shut the hell up!" Well, this got their attention. I can only imagine. Cade never swears at home. Never. I won't go into all the details but in the end Sean took Cade's money. Money Cade worked for and earned on his own because Sean told him he didn't believe him. I bit my tongue and tried not to say I told you so to Cade because I have told him many times not to bring his money over there because sooner or later it was going to get taken away. Cade flipped out and asked his dad who the thief was now? This rehashed all the old wounds of Sean taking and selling things that belonged to the boys when he was living here. Sean told him I had brainwashed him and that never happened. He was still living here. They saw him do it. I never had to say anything. I have mentioned before how the boys and I had gotten together and made a banana box of things we gave him to sell that was chosen by them in hopes he wouldn't just take whatever he thought was ok to sell on his own. It was an attempt to compromise and forgive him. How am I brainwashing them? Then Cade told him if he didn't stop behaving the way he does none of his kids would live with him or even want to see him anymore. Sean said the reason Will didn't visit was because Will is childish about Sean telling him to give a toy back to Regan. It's been a while but I was stunned yet again. Does he really think that? Oh. My. God. Cade brought up Will's money Sean stole and Kathryn was the one who answered and told Cade that sometimes parents have to made hard decisions and that I knew all about it. That was wrong on SO many levels. Cade told her to stay out of it and stop bad-mouthing me. He was sick of it. Much more was said I assure you and it was nice both Will and Connor were there to support him because I really, really had to stay out of it. I just told him that I was sorry he had a bad day. In the end Cade said his dad finally stopped yelling at him after Cade gave him a few more choice (meaning swears) words and went to his room and cried, loudly. Sean cried, not Cade who felt quite empowered apparently. Cade also told him he wasn't coming back over Thanksgiving vacation and Sean told him that was fine. Ok. After a while Sean came out of his room and gave Cade several cd's he knew Cade wanted from his father's collection. Nothing like trying to buy back affection. Cade took them of course, thanked him, then told his that it didn't change anything and he wasn't coming back. I am so very glad Cade has therapy tomorrow. So, very, very glad.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

I heard desperation in his voice. I almost felt bad.


Sean called today and asked me if Cade had any money. I said he did. He had earned some ($10) working with Will the week before and had a little left over from before that although I wasn't sure of the exact amount was at least $5. He hemmed a bit but I refused to ask why he was calling me about it. Then he said how $15 dollars was missing from there and how Cade had $5 and that Sean knew for a fact Cade also had a $10 bill he was hiding from him. In Sean's mind Cade hiding money means he stole it. I didn't point out how all the boys hide money from him and have done so since he was living here afraid he would steal it no matter how small the amount. I didn't want to make things worse because I could tell Sean was about to accuse Cade of stealing again. I tried not to let my mind wander to the fact that now that Connor isn't there to protect Cade from things like this it is happening again. I also tried not to think about the timing of all this. Sean said he didn't know what to do. I told him Cade did indeed have a $10 bill. Why he was hiding it from him I couldn't answer. The $5 could be the amount he had from before but again I couldn't verify that either although I can verify he had more than the $10 he had earned working. I pointed out that since Cade had money of his own Sean couldn't prove Cade took anything. If Sean searched all his things and came up with $15 plus his own money then he would have proof. I also pointed out that since the last time Sean accused Cade of stealing no money has gone missing here from anyone and didn't before either. I told him to really think twice about accusing Cade of something he couldn't prove otherwise things could get messy again. I will discuss this with Cade when he gets home but I already have a headache thinking about the whole thing. I think money is missing and Kathryn is pressuring Sean about it and the scapegoat is Cade. So, that is why I don't feel bad about Sean sounding desperate and asking me what he should do. He has to be feeling pressured to ask me for advice to begin with. This is out of my control. Knowing that helps a lot. I need to think of how to comfort Cade when he gets home I just know right now he is going to hell and back.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Sofie likes changing her name. She was Annabell last week. Elizabeth on Monday and has been Jeannie the rest of the week.


Sofie: Mumma! Guess what I can do?

Me: What?

Sofie: S. O. F. I. E.

Me: You can spell your name?

Sofie: Yep. Jeannie!

Well, Connor is home. I didn't truly believe it was going to happen until he called asking for me to come and pick him up at the dock because he had all his stuff. All of it. I guess I have come a long way. In the past I would just trip along believing anything I was told only to get creamed later when things didn't happen or realize I had been lied to. Over and over again. In Connor's case I still had hope he was serious about coming home for good but I didn't think what he was telling me would necessarily happen. He could change his mind and not tell me, Sean could have convinced him to stay, so many many reasons for it to not happen. I think it is good for me because I feel less pain and sadness and disappointment this way. I also don't feel resentment towards the other person. I still need to work on it and building expectations. As I said in Connor's case I did feel some hope. Hope is a dangerous thing sometimes. It can be crushing rather than uplifting. In my dealings with Sean I think I am much further along. I have no hope for him anymore. I have to guard myself at this point to not go too far in the other direction. I will believe it when I see it and actions over words is a great thing but it can be easy to just say I don't believe a word out of your mouth either. I want to strive to be neutral. Even that makes me sad.


Connor really went about coming home in a bad way. It was hard for me to step back and let him walk the path of poor choices and bad decisions. The only thing I did do was tell him he had to call his dad and let him know where Connor was and that he was safe. No matter what their issues are this is a safety issue and I could make the call myself but Connor made this choice and should be the one to tell his dad. I wasn't going to make this easier for him to avoid the problem. Connor was afraid of what Kathryn would do and how his dad would react about him wanting to leave. He told me he knew his dad would just say he was running away from his school work and not acknowledge the issues going on around Kathryn and Connor's feelings of being used and ignored. So, his grand commando plan was to tell his dad the bus was coming late and then when they all left the house he packed up all this things (he didn't want to leave anything behind for his dad to sell off in his anger). He took a city bus to the main terminal then walked the rest of the way to the bay lines. He had his back pack and four other bags which were full and heavy. He had to be determined because that was a long walk. His fingers cramped up. He had to also skip school to make this all happen. He never once asked me to help him or even told me exactly what he was going to do. I wasn't very pleased when he told me of his "great escape". The next day he filled his teachers in on what happened and instead of being angry they were very supportive and understanding. Connor told me when he got home he finally felt safe again. Still, I am feeling disbelieving and on edge a bit. Is he going to stay? Every scrap he had over there is here now. He had left stuff here when he moved over there so for him to have everything seems extreme. When I dropped Sofie and Cade off last night Connor went outside so he wouldn't have to talk to his dad. They did talk Thursday night on the phone and it didn't go well. Connor was pretty hesitant at first because he knew his dad was angry and most likely hurt. At least when he left here he told me and we talked about it. What he did with his dad was just the opposite. He just didn't show up for his session and when Sean got home he came to see all of Connor's stuff just gone. As I said, Connor should have gone about this better. Yet, I understand his reasons. My thinking is, this has to be between the two of them. As long as Connor is safe and Sean and I both know where he is then we can go from there. As the conversation went on Connor gathered confidence and told his dad exactly what his issues where but Sean said his issues with Kathryn weren't true and he wasn't buying it. Then Sean told Connor that the way Connor left was some scheme that Connor and I had come up with. I wasn't pleased at all that Sean was bringing me into this. I had nothing to do with it. Connor told him that wasn't true and that this was his decision for all the reasons he had just told his dad and more. He told his dad he had been thinking of leaving for a while but just hadn't done it because he was trying to stick it out. He apologized for not telling his dad about some of these things before but he didn't want to hurt his dad's feelings since he knew how his dad felt about Kathryn but how she acts to Connor and what she shows in front of his dad are two very different things. Sean said he didn't believe it. Then he said the only reason I want Connor here is for the child support. Connor was shocked and said, "No, I think she wants me here because she loves me and cares for me and has always been that way." Sean then began to start to bad mouth me some more so Connor said, "You know what? This isn't going anywhere. You're just not listening to me and repeating yourself. I'm done for now." and he hung up. I told Connor to just give it some time. His dad was probably feeling hurt and angry right now so let him cool off and then try and talk again later. Sean wouldn't speak to me yesterday when I dropped off the kids. I know I am being blamed for all of this. I must admit I am getting real tired of being blamed for everything. When are they going to take some responsibility? It is looking like never at this point. Connor seems to be adjusting well back into the fold. I am not stupid though and know transitions are never easy. I hope I can handle the next few months.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

D-Day

Why am I posting today when I should be in town cooling my heels waiting for a therapy session for Connor with Sean? Well, yesterday I took all the kids to the dentist. Good news is, no cavities. Bad news is, Connor will need to see a specialist about two of his back teeth which have the gums growing over them because they grew in crooked. He may need rear braces for those two teeth otherwise in a few years he could have bone damage and need to have them pulled. I can't wait to tell Sean about that. Connor seemed ok with it though so that was fine with me. Anyway, I had all the kids with me which was nice and we went to the store to pick up a few things. Will and Cade stayed in the car while I had Sofie with me and Connor came along. He said he was coming home for good today. I kind of blinked. I asked him about his session and he said he wasn't going. I asked him if he had talked with his dad about all of this and he said no. I sighed in my mind. I told him he really should and that the session would be a great place to do that. He is of course still angry with his dad for how he went about scheduling it. I can't force him to go since he will get zip for benefit out of it. I learned this the hard way (and not just with him but his father and brothers as well) so I didn't push it at all. He asked me if I would call Frank to cancel and I said no. I said his dad was the one who scheduled it and his dad was the one who demanded to take over that aspect of Connor's care so I was going to leave that responsibility to his father. This was again another subtle hint on my part for him to speak with his dad about the issue but also this is something Sean needs to go through and deal with. I told Connor if he wasn't going to go then I was going to stay home and work. He said again he refused to go so that was that. I asked him if everything went ok when he got back to his dad's on Monday and he said it didn't. He didn't elaborate and I didn't pry further. He will tell me when he is ready. He did say that Kathryn exploded on him about him not putting a glass in the dishwasher. So, she has gone up from lectures to yelling. She then refused to talk to him the rest of the day and glared at him whenever he got near. I know she has done this with Cade in the past and it is one reason why Sean wanted her in therapy with Cade. Connor just said he was done, all done with it there. He was worried about getting his stuff back here without them noticing. I am expecting the next few weeks to be awful tense for sure. He said he was going to do a secret commando mission to bring as much of his cd's and clothes as he could without anyone figuring it out then coming home here straight from school. I told him he will need to let his dad know where he is or he will worry. Connor said once he is physically here he will call him and deal with it then. Otherwise he is afraid his dad will try and force him to stay. I said nothing. I will let them work this out. Legally Sean can't do that. Speaking of legally all hell is going to break loose now. I see one of two things happening, Sean will cave and drop everything or it's going to be a nasty escalation next month in court. I am going to continue to let the chips fall for now and call my lawyer after the holidays to schedule a meeting to discuss what we are going to do for the court date already scheduled for December 21st. Connor being back home will change things a bit. I won't have to pay Sean child support at least. After that...who knows? I am not going to count any chickens yet.

Sofie woke up with a 100.8 fever this morning. She was crying about her knees and her arm hurting. I figured it was an early morning growing pains thing since her ankle hurt last night too. I gave her some medicine and she fell back to sleep. I didn't wake her back up for school thinking when she got up and was fine I would just take her in a little late but when she woke up she had the fever. She still has it and has been in my bed all day sleeping off and on. It came out of no where. Most of my plans got wiped for the day since I have been massaging her legs a good part of the day. I am glad I didn't have to go in after all. I am just now taking a quick break to do some school work and make an update before she wakes up again.

Keep your fingers crossed for Connor today and his great escape across the Berlin wall.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Child's Play



Aiden: What did you just do?

Sofie: I kissed you.

Aiden: Is this a play date?

;;

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