Our Island Family Life

I think the holidays are a bad time of year for Sean. His drama always increases this time of year and it tends to spoil it for the rest of us.

I seem to recall saying the last time Sean and Cade had it out about money and stealing issues that I wasn't very pleased how it was "resolved". They agreed to disagree and drop the whole thing and just start talking again. I really felt they needed to talk the whole thing out in therapy but they never did. So, here we are again.

Cade came home yesterday and I knew something was off the second the kids got off the boat. Sean didn't even walk Sofie off and she walked off the plank by herself. I tried not to freak out since she should still be holding someones hand so she doesn't accidentally slip off and plop into the ocean. He was no where to be seen and I asked Cade if they rode alone. They didn't thank goodness but I couldn't fathom why he didn't come off no matter how mad he may be at me. I got the kids in the car and I was pulled aside by a friend who was on the boat with them and she told me he completely ignored them the whole ride until the very end when he said good bye to Sofie and said how much he was going to miss her then he just sent her on her way. My friend was the one looking after them the whole ride. I thanked her and apologized. What else could I do?

After we got home Cade seemed ok. I think he was doing well because he really popped his top with his dad this weekend. He just vomited all the stuff he had been holding in for a while. What tipped the scales wasn't the stealing issue but the fact his dad was yelling at him. Not just about the issue at hand but all kinds of things. As for that problem Sean was just screaming at Cade to admit that he stole the money. Cade refused. He tried to explain the work he had done to earn the money but Sean refused to listen. Then Kathryn stepped in and said how Cade wasn't going to admit anything and was according to Cade being sarcastic. So, Cade paused for a second, and then yelled at them both to, "Shut the hell up!" Well, this got their attention. I can only imagine. Cade never swears at home. Never. I won't go into all the details but in the end Sean took Cade's money. Money Cade worked for and earned on his own because Sean told him he didn't believe him. I bit my tongue and tried not to say I told you so to Cade because I have told him many times not to bring his money over there because sooner or later it was going to get taken away. Cade flipped out and asked his dad who the thief was now? This rehashed all the old wounds of Sean taking and selling things that belonged to the boys when he was living here. Sean told him I had brainwashed him and that never happened. He was still living here. They saw him do it. I never had to say anything. I have mentioned before how the boys and I had gotten together and made a banana box of things we gave him to sell that was chosen by them in hopes he wouldn't just take whatever he thought was ok to sell on his own. It was an attempt to compromise and forgive him. How am I brainwashing them? Then Cade told him if he didn't stop behaving the way he does none of his kids would live with him or even want to see him anymore. Sean said the reason Will didn't visit was because Will is childish about Sean telling him to give a toy back to Regan. It's been a while but I was stunned yet again. Does he really think that? Oh. My. God. Cade brought up Will's money Sean stole and Kathryn was the one who answered and told Cade that sometimes parents have to made hard decisions and that I knew all about it. That was wrong on SO many levels. Cade told her to stay out of it and stop bad-mouthing me. He was sick of it. Much more was said I assure you and it was nice both Will and Connor were there to support him because I really, really had to stay out of it. I just told him that I was sorry he had a bad day. In the end Cade said his dad finally stopped yelling at him after Cade gave him a few more choice (meaning swears) words and went to his room and cried, loudly. Sean cried, not Cade who felt quite empowered apparently. Cade also told him he wasn't coming back over Thanksgiving vacation and Sean told him that was fine. Ok. After a while Sean came out of his room and gave Cade several cd's he knew Cade wanted from his father's collection. Nothing like trying to buy back affection. Cade took them of course, thanked him, then told his that it didn't change anything and he wasn't coming back. I am so very glad Cade has therapy tomorrow. So, very, very glad.