Our Island Family Life

Connor really went about coming home in a bad way. It was hard for me to step back and let him walk the path of poor choices and bad decisions. The only thing I did do was tell him he had to call his dad and let him know where Connor was and that he was safe. No matter what their issues are this is a safety issue and I could make the call myself but Connor made this choice and should be the one to tell his dad. I wasn't going to make this easier for him to avoid the problem. Connor was afraid of what Kathryn would do and how his dad would react about him wanting to leave. He told me he knew his dad would just say he was running away from his school work and not acknowledge the issues going on around Kathryn and Connor's feelings of being used and ignored. So, his grand commando plan was to tell his dad the bus was coming late and then when they all left the house he packed up all this things (he didn't want to leave anything behind for his dad to sell off in his anger). He took a city bus to the main terminal then walked the rest of the way to the bay lines. He had his back pack and four other bags which were full and heavy. He had to be determined because that was a long walk. His fingers cramped up. He had to also skip school to make this all happen. He never once asked me to help him or even told me exactly what he was going to do. I wasn't very pleased when he told me of his "great escape". The next day he filled his teachers in on what happened and instead of being angry they were very supportive and understanding. Connor told me when he got home he finally felt safe again. Still, I am feeling disbelieving and on edge a bit. Is he going to stay? Every scrap he had over there is here now. He had left stuff here when he moved over there so for him to have everything seems extreme. When I dropped Sofie and Cade off last night Connor went outside so he wouldn't have to talk to his dad. They did talk Thursday night on the phone and it didn't go well. Connor was pretty hesitant at first because he knew his dad was angry and most likely hurt. At least when he left here he told me and we talked about it. What he did with his dad was just the opposite. He just didn't show up for his session and when Sean got home he came to see all of Connor's stuff just gone. As I said, Connor should have gone about this better. Yet, I understand his reasons. My thinking is, this has to be between the two of them. As long as Connor is safe and Sean and I both know where he is then we can go from there. As the conversation went on Connor gathered confidence and told his dad exactly what his issues where but Sean said his issues with Kathryn weren't true and he wasn't buying it. Then Sean told Connor that the way Connor left was some scheme that Connor and I had come up with. I wasn't pleased at all that Sean was bringing me into this. I had nothing to do with it. Connor told him that wasn't true and that this was his decision for all the reasons he had just told his dad and more. He told his dad he had been thinking of leaving for a while but just hadn't done it because he was trying to stick it out. He apologized for not telling his dad about some of these things before but he didn't want to hurt his dad's feelings since he knew how his dad felt about Kathryn but how she acts to Connor and what she shows in front of his dad are two very different things. Sean said he didn't believe it. Then he said the only reason I want Connor here is for the child support. Connor was shocked and said, "No, I think she wants me here because she loves me and cares for me and has always been that way." Sean then began to start to bad mouth me some more so Connor said, "You know what? This isn't going anywhere. You're just not listening to me and repeating yourself. I'm done for now." and he hung up. I told Connor to just give it some time. His dad was probably feeling hurt and angry right now so let him cool off and then try and talk again later. Sean wouldn't speak to me yesterday when I dropped off the kids. I know I am being blamed for all of this. I must admit I am getting real tired of being blamed for everything. When are they going to take some responsibility? It is looking like never at this point. Connor seems to be adjusting well back into the fold. I am not stupid though and know transitions are never easy. I hope I can handle the next few months.