Saturday, June 23, 2012
...is flat out nuts. I don't know if he was just crashing from all his efforts recently or what but he just kind of stopped. Everything and slept, or played video games to make him self, as he put it, "stop thinking". He created and downward spiral where he was angry with himself for not doing anything but not being able to do anything and the circle continued. He even took a book and started smacking his head with it over and over. I had tried calling his doctor for a week with no response. Connor missed his last week of school. Finally I got a call back and the doctor is consulting with his pdoc on which meds will be best. This is it. What I have been trying to avoid but he is not going to succeed or stay on track and stable without it. He feels so desperate he is almost out of his head waiting for some medication. I tried very very hard to stay calm and listen to his raving about. Surprising that didn't bother me too much. What got to me though was when he began to try and tell me how I should be parenting Cade and Sofie. He thought I should, "calm down" when I reminded Cade he was still banned from all electronics due to something he did last week. Cade was fighting with Connor about the xbox when he shouldn't have been since he wasn't allowed to use it anyway. I didn't yell but I did point and was firm. Cade wasn't upset with me at all but was still bugged about being banned. Connor felt I had ruined the whole atmosphere of the day by being angry. He was trying to have a nice morning and I was bringing everyone down over something stupid. I was stupid and Cade was stupid. I could just see his attitude of being superior to all of us lowly beings. He is so evolved. Not the simple teenager who knows everything stuff either. I just had enough and said my peace to him. I didn't yell but I did spill my guts. Then I left. I had to work after all. Work to pay for the clothes I bought him. I took Sofie with me rather than have her brothers babysit. Will was working too but even if he was I just didn't want her near Connor right then. I cried and felt a whole lot better. Now we just have to wait for his appointment. Just knowing he has one and that he is getting some medication has calmed him enough where he has been able to go back to work. I can only hope things will get better.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Sofie is going to be a flower girl for her aunt's wedding. I still need to get her some tights but she has her dress and is terribly excited.
Probably the last trip I will have in a long time. I wouldn't call it a vacation since traveling for a week with a large group of children is the farthest thing from relaxing as you can get. I really wanted a leash for Sofie. Although she listens well and stayed by my side for the most part, it was just so crowded. I was a nervous wreak. Apparently, every school group for 100 miles thought it was a good idea to visit almost all the same places as our school group did. I don't think in all the years I have been visiting the Museum of Science or the Aquarium have I seen so many people. We also went to Plimouth Plantation, Mayflower 2, Quincy Market, walked the Freedom Trail and about half a dozen other things. This wasn't just our school either. It was our TLC Outer Islands group of other one room school house island schools. It was a lot of fun though and Sofie had a great time. Cade was beyond jealous to not be able to go. I had to agree it would have been nice for him to go. The other island schools go to 8th grade and Cade has friends from these schools he would have loved to have seen. This fall the schools will be coming out to our island for our yearly get together so he will have to wait until then. There were some really funny moments. We went to play lazer tag and I wasn't sure Sofie would be big enough to play. We went for it anyway and she got put on the team opposite from me and I was again nervous but I just took a deep breath and let go. There was three rounds to the game. One of her teachers was on Sofie's team and she said that the first round Sofie hung back and "guarded" the tower and basicly got used to the dark and glowing lights and her how to fire her lazer gun. Second round though Sofie became a commando. She took off after another of her teachers who was on my team when he tried to get her tower. He ran and she ran him down firing the whole time and actually hitting the target on his back. Who knew she had the skill? In the third round she teamed with two older kids and they attacked the tower I was guarding and she lured me out all cute like then attacked me. I ran and we circled an obstacle but she stopped and I would up running around and right into her and she fired and got me. Strategy. Planned strategy. I was shocked. She showed me no mercy and giggled the whole time. Another funny thing was how she interacted with all the older kids. It's something I have never really seen anywhere than with island schools. The smaller kids are never shy or intimidated with the older kids and ask for help freely. The older kids never turn the little ones away either. They could always just sniff at the youngers and ignore them but they never do and include them in everything. On our last night we had a pool party and Sofie kept diving in the pool which was a first for her and she was very proud. I had told her how brave she was and she was thrilled. All the kids did a dive at the same time at the very end and as they all got out she went over to one of the 8th grade boys and patted his hand and told him how brave he was to dive in. He just laughed and smiled at her and thanked her for noticing. It was very sweet. Here are some pics of the trip...:)
