Monday, March 21, 2011

Upswing

I sometimes wonder how it is I have managed not to sink deep into the depths of depression myself. My stress level is functioning at an all time high. Not a high and then a leveling out but at a constant high. That said, I take good things when they happen with a sense of relief followed by a, "Hey, let's not get cocky now.." attitude.


The first miracle this week was when Sean actually got off the boat with the kids and personally handed me a check. I think the only reason he got off the boat was to hand me the check and not for the kids sake but take what you can get. I was really becoming depressed with the idea that he wasn't going to pay what was ordered by the court since it is his pattern of behavior. I was very glad to get it but I didn't act like it. I said a simple thank you and left it at that. Let's hope it doesn't bounce. Cade and Sofie whined and complained the whole walk home and at bedtime about their weekend but I was able to keep a calm center and hummed noncommittally. I was a little upset when I heard Sofie was punched by the 8 year old girl over there but Cade said he, "took care of it", I didn't ask what that meant.

I got my taxes done and I will finally be getting money back that my hyper manic bipolar ex husband can't steal....very nice. So even though I am going to be tight for the next few days I should be getting some relief soon. Also, the summer people have begun to filter back which means more jobs for me. I also should be starting my post office job soon so I have some financial hopes for the future.

Connor's mood has improved greatly. He wants to go back to school. He isn't upset with me or the work we have been doing here he just feels that, "he is ready" to go back and work hard. Maybe it's the change in season. I don't know. He has an appointment Wednesday with his therapist and if we are lucky he will be back in school on Monday of next week. He sleep schedule is good. He is walking his sister to and from school. Exercising more. He is more social. I am watching for anything hyper manic but so far he seems fine. I am scared to be hopeful.

No one is sick!

My school seems to have fixed their site so I am not missing anything finally.

I can get the car fixed now I have some money.

I can pay off all of my little bills and get the car registered.

I can get one nice present for Sofie for her birthday next month. I can't believe she will be 5. She thinks the whole month of April is her birthday...so funny.

I like this.


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