Our Island Family Life

I am still getting headaches now and then. I am not sure if they are connected to my little hospital trip on Monday. These are really headaches that don't encompass my entire left side of my head down to my neck like before. Not my usual migraines either. In fact I haven't had one of those in months. I used to have the whole shebang, one side of the forehead, spots, nausea, light and noise sensitive, smells too bothered me. However, this "thing" isn't like that. It hits suddenly and hard but as the week has gone by with less frequency. I still have some of the heavy duty pain meds left over. What has been working for me is to stop whatever I am doing, sit, take some ibuprofen and some deep breaths. After half an hour or so it goes away. Thankfully I have been home to be able to do that. I worked Saturday at the post office and I had one hit but I took the medicine and sat down and did some reading. There is always reading I have to do for the job. It's all required too. Good thing I am a fast reader. Anyway, I am hopeful this will pass soon enough.

Sine I have been "resting" this week I have been able to do a lot of things around the house and yard. It has been real nice and rather relaxing. Sofie has become a real gung ho garden freak. She weeds like a mad person. So far no actual plant has been damaged with her enthusiasm. I will take some pics soon of what we have planted so far. I didn't do anything really since Sean left. Another part of who I am that kind of got lost because of his illness and actions. I have worked so hard trying to get by financially in the summer my feet went numb, so gardening or anything else was just not on my to do list. Nothing outside was on my list at all. I am trying to do more things for me and hope for the best. Since Sofie is excited about it, it is a motivator. Will as well seems to be able to grow anything so we have stuff all over the house.

So far we have planted or in various stages of growth:

green peppers

cayenne peppers

jalapeno peppers

ancho chilies

thai peppers

basil (Sofie's)

parsley

chives (outside)

oregano

rhubarb (outside)

hanging hot peppers (outside)

apple tree

aloe

banana plant (from Costa Rica)

roma tomatoes

garlic

marigolds (outside)

iris (outside)

johnny jump ups (outside)

lemon tree

mint

blackberries(outside)

ginger

Planned to plant this week:

cantaloupe

potatoes

Future:

strawberries

morning glories

I still have to get a few more supplies but I can get most at goodwill for a great price. Who knew?

I spent most of Friday cleaning our grill. Will was thrilled and he cooked on it yesterday. Nothing I clean stays that way for a full 24 hours I swear. Still, he is good at it and made pork ribs (a gift from one of the people I clean for), and two types of chicken. One marinated in peanut sauce and the other an italian rub. I made macaroni salad and a plain salad to go with it. Nothing fancy. Leftovers are great.

Connor went to spend the night with a friend on Saturday and agreed to see his dad for a few hours on Sunday. Connor refused to go to his house and refused to discuss Kathryn. He told his dad the only way for them to see each other would be to get together for lunch or in town for a few hours once and a while and as long as his dad didn't do something stupid. Connor wants to be able to have access to leave if he needs to based on his dad's behavior. I am glad Connor is willing to see him but it is also good he is setting his boundaries. Now, this may seem odd since he is the child and Sean is the parent but looking at it from the stand point of Sean's illness (untreated illness) it makes sense. Now if Sean was seeing a medical professional and on his proper meds it would be a different game but that just isn't how it is. I would love to be able to do this with the younger kids but I can't. Sean seemed excited to see him and was all praise for Connor. I expressed to Connor that I am sure his dad was happy to see him and to just keep in mind that Connor is a very non confrontational type of personality while his dad is the type to be excited and quick to compliment and schmooze to manipulate. Just take stuff as it comes, be happy with it but go heavy with the salt on all those "compliments and adoration's". Be happy that his dad seems happy and leave it at that. Don't count on anything that will lead to heartbreaking disappointment. Also, keep your wallet hidden and don't fall for tricks like, "I just need to stop by the house for a second." If his dad wants to do that then fine let him. Connor can wait elsewhere since it's the only way he can reaffirm his boundaries. I feel bad like me saying these things is putting his dad in a bad light. I have to keep reminding myself this isn't a normal situation. If Sean was taking care of himself there could be more freedoms. Yet with this illness you have to have limits and stick to them or get walked all over. Maybe, if Sean learns them now and all of us can be firm, it will foster better relationships in the long run. That is my hope anyway.

Sidenote: It seems "the mean witch" is in therapy for herself. I guess there have been others who have told her she has "anger issues" and "control issues" and isn't being a very good stepmother. Let's hope this helps to put an end to the verbal abuse she gives the kids and the tendency towards the physical abuse as well. Funny how she is now going and Sean still refuses. I know I knew I had to go in order to cope with his illness and how it was affecting me. I wonder if that is also a factor for her as well? Not enough days in the week for the amount of therapy she needs.