Our Island Family Life

Connor had been doing relatively well recently. Working from time to time but not every day and doing school work, trying to find a balance. I knew with the change of the other kids ending school for the summer and me going back to work at the library it would be hard since change is not something he does well. Still, he was doing fine if maybe needing some pushing and reminding from me. Weekly therapy has been a big help. Until Thursday. He went to town for a session and he had asked to go by himself which I let him do with the caveat that I had to go at least one session a month for accountability, my views and scheduling. He was ok with that. I was planning on going to the next session this coming Thursday. On his way he walked with a friend to his friends school and they stopped off at a dunkin donuts for a coffee then went on the way to school. At school Connor realized he had left his wallet at the store. He raced back and found his wallet but he had been robbed. He had been planning on going to the bank to deposit money he had earned working and was now out $130 and his bank card. This tipped him right over into depression and anger. He tried to look at the positive that he at least still had his boat pass. However, he wasn't in the frame of mind to think clearly. He sat at the bay lines all day until his friend got out of school (it was the last day) and told him what happened. His friend saw his state and invited him fishing which helped a little. Connor had been planning to buy a phone card so he could call me but now he couldn't. He didn't go to the bank, which was across the street, to report his stolen card. He had no money to use a pay phone to call me, but if he had been thinking clearly he would have known that the deckhands would have let him use their phone since he has done it before. He didn't eat or drink all day. He also bailed his therapy appointment. He didn't call to cancel either and he had been warned that if he did that again he would be dropped. So things were a mess. I made him call his counselor the next day and the bank. That night when he got home I made him drink and eat and go to bed. Friday he was a broody mess and exhausted all day. He still hasn't made that connection between depression and exhaustion. He got offered a job for Saturday and was wishy washy about it. So, I told him he had to go. He whined that he had never said he would (although he had) and I said I wasn't going to argue about it. The commitment was made and it was only for one day not a long term thing. He huffed and went to his room. The rest of the kids knew what happened and felt bad but wouldn't say anything to him afraid to set him off. Saturday he went out on the water to work ( he hauled on a lobster boat) and came back that afternoon much better. He said he had fun and then he washed up and went out with friends. I hope the big part of the mood swing is over. I am not happy that he didn't see his counselor as a support. I told him that at times like that are perfect reasons to go not bail. He said he just wasn't in the mood. (scream) I told him that was the whole point. His mood was crappy and that was what his counselor is there for. So, we have a lot of things to discuss this Thursday. Hopefully he won't be dropped. Also, I hope I can make sure the DBT is on track. Coping skills, without them Connor's life is going to be real tough.