Our Island Family Life

So, yeah, I haven't posted in a while. I have been so busy and so stressed tears have been involved quite a bit recently.

The new job has been stressful no doubt about it but the extra money has been nice. Then we were told my hours would be cut back from 8 to 2 hours a day. More stress. Now it's settled at 6 with higher pay so great. I still may lose the job though because of the new classification our office has. Wonderful. Stress continues. I still don't have anyone to relieve me for a day off or emergencies. No one is applying. I was able to have my minor surgery in September but it took a month and a half to get someone and that was a scheduled thing. I almost had to postpone. For now, I am still 8 hrs. 6 days a week. Well, 4 to 6 hrs. on Saturday depending. Kids are adjusting better than me.

Speaking of them, Cade had an allergic reaction on Monday and went to to doctor yesterday for his hives. I had a friend take him. I was trapped at work. It wasn't a too bad of a reaction so his breathing was unaffected but we are keeping an eye on him. We still aren't sure what the reaction was from yet. We've narrowed it down to a laundry detergent or a fabric. He wore a friends clothing and then got hives. The doctor checked for parasites and he was clean. Getting a call from the school nurse did not make my day.

Sofie is off on a field trip until Friday. This is the first time I couldn't go with her and she was upset about it. The chaperon I had planned to been with her had to cancel and I was worried she wouldn't be able to go and  how she would react to that (not well I was sure). Thankfully, I was able to get someone else but the anxiety of calling around and all that stuff gave me a literal headache. Sofie was already upset from a visit with her dad last weekend. Another one of her aunt got married and she was excited to go. She was a flower girl the last wedding she went to and wanted to wear that dress again. I asked Sean if it was ok that she wear it or should she wear something else and he said, "Of course she can wear the dress." Well, the boys went to the wedding although they didn't stay the weekend with their dad and came home mad as heck. I asked them what happened and they said the wedding was great and fun but Sofie wasn't there and that made them angry. The whole family on their dad's side was there except Sofie. Everyone was asking where she was, even the bride. Sean's wife had decided that Sofie would be too much of a distraction and left her with her parents. The real reason was so she could get stinking drink. Cade went back with Sean to their house and Sean had to put his wife in the back seat she was so drunk and she didn't even know where she was. I asked Cade if his dad had been drinking too and Cade said, "Not as much as her." That made me feel so much better. He probably shouldn't have been driving at all. Sofie was crushed to not be there. Nothing I can do but it makes me feel so tired, I am all out of anger.

Connor, back in the pit again. I feel like pulling my hair out. Then, epiphany, it's the fall season. He was able to not get down last year but this year he is feeling it again. I am making calls this week for him to see his doctor. He has missed sessions with his therapist and it's obvious he needs a meds change. I see a life long struggle here and again all I feel is helpless and sad.

Will. Thank god I have one child that is stable and makes good choices. He is still working on college. Still working and even though he lives at home he has a life and take every chance at spending time with friends. He passed drivers ed and will get his license in February if all goes as planned.

Money = stress, job = stress, kids = stress, car = stress. I know I should be taking some more me time but so far all that entails is catching up on my recorded tv shows while I clean the house on my one day off. It feels like a luxury. I did go to my book club last month and that was nice. I skipped this month though. It is so hard to do more than what I am already doing. I pray to stay healthy. All of us.

I will try and post more. Try.