Our Island Family Life: girl time

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Catching up

2 comments Posted by perphila at 9:12 AM

My night with friends last Friday almost didn't happen. I had taken the morning boat with Cade and Sofie because Cade had therapy at 9am. It was a long day. I did some food shopping and sent it home for Connor to take care of in the afternoon. Then we hit a few different Goodwill's and did some xmas shopping. Cade got all the presents he wanted to get for others. I had emailed Sean on Thursday asking if he could pick the kids up around 3:30 or 4pm so the ladies and I could have dinner before we went to the movie. Sean said he couldn't be there any earlier than 5pm (the usual time is 5:30) because of his classes. Well, that was interesting. I wasn't upset about it but I did note that he had said before that after swim lessons were over he could come to some of Cade's therapy sessions after I said I would try and move them to the afternoon. Now it seems it was all hot air. The last boat of the day is 5:45 there is no way we could have a later session and make it home. So, now I know for sure. I kinda knew Sean was never going to come back into therapy with Cade but, there it is. So we are waiting at the bay lines at 5pm for Sean and he's not there. I figured he would be late. He always is. When the normal time of 5:30 rolls around and he still isn't there I am starting to panic a bit. If he doesn't show up then I will have to go home with the kids and there goes my one night I have been waiting for. Not to mention the others had gone on ahead already. I called him and he said he had been on his way to come and tell me he wasn't going to take the kids this weekend. He had only emailed me yesterday saying he would so I was not pleased at the late notice. Cade was thrilled and grabbed his ticket and sprinted to the boat. In the end I had another mom watch Sofie for the night and I was able to see the movie and have dinner. It worked out but only by luck. Another odd thing I have been thinking of is this vacation. The kids are with me. It is all according to schedule. I thought for sure Sean would argue. After all he was supposed to have them last year but got into a fight with me about it instead and in the end didn't take them. I thought Mr. Tit for Tat would say he should have them since I did last year. He didn't. Not a peep. Of course today is his 1st anniversary with the "mean mean witch". Lucky him. I suppose that might explain him not saying anything. Maybe he is letting go finally, a little bit. As in fighting with me. I never once thought it was really about his desire to have the kids in the first place. He has his life and we have ours. He did call the day before yesterday and asked me if he could pick up Connor after school on Tuesday for the afternoon. I told him he had to ask Connor. If Connor wanted to see him then as long as I know what's going on it was fine. I gave the phone to Connor. Connor told him he would call him back. Connor never did and never went. Now I guess Sean is on the receiving end of the maybes and I'll call you backs and the oh, I forgot. I am staying out of it. They have to work it out themselves. Unless Sean puts more effort into it like say, more than one phone call every few months and shows some consistency it might turn around. I really doubt it though.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Half Decent Day

0 comments Posted by perphila at 4:54 PM

Ok, the school guidance counselor came out to the island today. It's been a while since she has been here. She came to the house and we had some one on one time (which was really great for me) and I was able to catch her up on how Cade was doing. She brought us a food card as a Thanksgiving treat which was really nice. She was really impressed at my commitment at keeping the kids in therapy even with the extra effort of having to bring them in town. Not easy I can tell you.

Then Cade had his school conference. He is doing great. He has had some frustration issues but not like last year. My keeping him out for the morning the few times I did it was endorsed and not criticized. After all, if he only going to get snarly at people then he isn't doing himself an favors and it's also disruptive to the whole school. There isn't another room there for people to "cool off". It's one room school house after all. He was given a lot of praise on how he treats the younger students. He is starting to develop the school is school and home is home mind set like Will does. He answers questions but doesn't elaborate. He still shares how he is doing with the friends outside of school which is good for him. Sofie was great at the school today. She was "reading" and doing puzzles and following directions. She was saying, "no thank you" to snacks and sharing. She really fit right in. The teachers are really hoping the preschool program is approved for the spring or next year.

Then my car was looked at again today. The guy helping out thinks it's the alternator. I am grateful for the help but the guy is a little creepy. He is getting a new one and hopefully it will be running in a week or so. Then he asks me..."What do you like?" I had no idea what he meant. So I said, "Lot's of things. What do you mean?" He said, "Well, do you like chocolate or something?" I could see where this was going and said, "Well, my mama raised me right and said I should be thankful for whatever I am given." He looked at me kinda funny and I was laughing on the inside at his expression. He is creepy. Seriously. As he was leaving a friend came over to pick up some water I had saved for her( I have better drinking water than she does) and she said, "Don't you think he is a little creepy?" Ha ha. So I told her the story and I told her it was a good thing she was married. She said if she wasn't she would just pound him anyway. Also she didn't think he could fix my car. I kinda knew that anyway and I have someone else coming to look at it but I didn't want to be mean.

Speaking of friends I am going out tomorrow night with a few of them. A girls night. We are going to see New Moon and stay overnight in town. We are meeting up with another friend who can't go with us because of work for dinner. All of us are from the island. One friend said..."Well, would you look at that? My calendar says I might actually have a social life!" On Saturday I am meeting up with Will for a school craft fair for a little bit then I am going up the coast with one of the "girls" to go a bookstore/antique shop. I used to go there every year. I went with my dad then I showed Sean and we went there together. We even went there one year during our anniversary because the inn we stayed at was nearby. I haven't been there since he left and I don't want to not do the things I used to because of him and all the memories that feel tainted now. We used to bring the kids with us too. I don't plan on buying anything. Maybe a few books since they are all used and I can get 4 for a dollar sometimes. I can get xmas gifts if I am a savvy shopper. I am really looking forward to being a person and not just a mom for a few days. I won't even be near the older boys really. It's kind of scary too. It has been a long time. I am doing this on purpose. I have to be me to be a good mom. My old therapist would be proud.

Will is going to be in town until Saturday. He is actually involved in a school function (shock) and has to be at the school early to help out. Fund raiser and craft fair. So he is staying with a friend for two nights. They love him there and always tell him he can stay anytime. Who knew good manners would pay off right? Sean lives in town but Will would rather be set on fire than stay with him. It just isn't an option for him. The mom Will is staying with has met Sean and let's just say he didn't leave a favorable impression. Another reason she is so glad to have Will there.

Cade has therapy tomorrow. It has been a few weeks. Scheduling and stuff. I am so glad he has it even though I really don't want to get up at 5am and freeze walking to the boat.

I got paid today. I call it "my better than nothing" checks. All my checks are like that. Still, it's enough to pay for my parking next month and ferry tickets for two weeks. Now I hope I can make enough for the rent. If I get my child support, even a third of it I will be fine. Here's hoping.