Our Island Family Life

Now that the rain has returned so have the mice. It's so bizarre. I have never had to deal with mice problems like this before I moved to the island. Anyway, ok, we see a mouse. No big deal. Set the traps and wait. The problem is all my traps are missing. The ones in the kitchen and the ones in my room. Where did they go? Did the mice (which are big enough to be moles) drag them off? Four traps gone. Not to mention I baked two loaves of bread last Thursday and one went missing. Seriously. I had it cooling on a rack on the stove and when I got home from class it was gone. The kids claimed to have not eaten it and were quite upset about it because they love fresh bread and they didn't get any. The next morning my pants and bra went missing. I found the pants upstairs under Connor's bed when I KNEW I had folded them and put them in my closet. My bra was sitting in the middle of the bathroom floor. ???????? I am either losing my mind or maybe Sofie is playing some kind of game. Well, I managed to find one trap under the tv stand and it is now baited and waiting. I am watching the mouse as I type inching toward the peanut butter goodness and I can only hope he goes for it. We never found the bread...

So, the chat with Connor was as horrible as expected. I was so exhausted by the end of the day from crying and stuff. I am not sure if anything will change. He did acknowledge the fact I treated him respectfully even though I was pretty brutal this time. Brutal in the fact I was very honest and even though I may have said somethings that might have hurt his feelings I wasn't being purposefully cruel. He tried to shift focus a lot onto Will or Cade but I was able to nip that. In the end he cried some and revealed some stuff I KNEW he had been sitting on. He said how Sofie was lucky because it would be easier for her to "grow up without a dad than having a dad who did stuff who just leaves and turned into a selfish jerk." His words. I told him I couldn't answer that. I have no basis to compare and I would imagine each has it's own draw backs. He said stuff like how his dad couldn't see him whenever he (Sean) wanted. I finally said, enough was enough on that. I was no longer going to let him blame ME for the two of them not seeing each other. We had a nice talk about how how adults should act and how parents should conduct themselves. If Sean "wanted" to see the kids, he would make it happen. Connor knows this. Connor knows if there is something Sean wants he will ruin long time friendships and cut family ties, go into debt, WHATEVER it takes to do it. He did it when he was living "happily" here many times before his last episode. We saw him do this, repeatedly. I was not the one doing it. He said how we don't get along so it's tough for him. I have no idea what Sean is telling him but I tell Connor NOTHING. He said I don't trust Sean. I wasn't sure what or even if I should answer that one. For one thing it really isn't his business if I do or not. In the end I tried to keep it as a general concept not exclusive to his dad. I told him I did not trust his dad blindly anymore like I used to. Instead I treat his dad with the respect I would treat other people. If someone tells you they will do something and don't more than once then don't make it a trust issue at all. It isn't I don't trust him but that I will accept what his dad does when he does it and not have any expectations. If his dad says, I will bring a bag of clothes on Sunday for you and I get them, great. If not, then I won't get upset because I wasn't expecting (what could be construed as trust I guess) it anyway. This applies for anything. I won't pay a bill because dad says he will send me the money for it next week. I pay it when I get the money. Don't count your chicken before they hatch. This is a good policy ANYWAY, much less with Sean. I told Connor this is actually a healthier relationship to have with his dad and I was glad to have it so this was in NO way a bad thing. As far as visits go Connor just wants to be able to go when the whim strikes. No. That also isn't about trust. Connor still refuses to go on normal visitations. Why not start there? Why not establish some routine between them? Build their communication with each other and I will also not worry about where Connor is and if Sean actually there or not. Maybe I seem over protective but I want to know where my teenage son is to the best of my ability. I let him do basically whatever he wants, whenever and with whoever including his dad as long as he has his phone, let's me know ahead of time as much as possible (no one hour before stuff) and confirmation of some kind if it is overnight. Sean, other parents, whatever. If he's going to hang out for an afternoon. I only want a call. Connor thinks this is too much to ask and the reason he can't go see his dad for the afternoon is because we "don't get along." So, I asked him,"When have I ever said you couldn't hang with your dad for the afternoon?" No response. That is because I have never said no. It hasn't happened because his dad has been "too busy" or wanted it to be overnight and I have said school nights it out period. Summertime, fine. Weekends, fine. School nights, no. We talked about his rude behavior, his attitude towards the family (we are weird he says and he doesn't like us), pretty much everything. He was pissed at me for wanting to talk to him at all. Then he said it was because he had "just got home", excuses, excuses. Overall, it was good but he is still blaming me I know for stuff. I really wonder how the hell Sean gets away with leaving and being as ass yet I am the one who gets blamed for everything. How fair is that?

Well, we got our first quizzes back yesterday. I felt pretty good about knowing the concepts but it was all fill in the blank and I stink at that. I did better than I thought I would and one question that was marked wrong was because in class the teacher said one thing and the book another. So he apologized for that. Another quiz on Thursday and we have to read 4 chapters by then! Will said he is glad he didn't take the class now. Both Will and Connor have CPR cards they earned in school but Will is old enough is take the class now and get certified at 18. He thought about it then decided with his school schedule not to. They really give the juniors a TON of stuff to do. More than I got for sure.

I have been real busy studying so I haven't posted much sorry.

Seeing the tress across the street I still can't believe my banana boxes never moved. Weird.