Our Island Family Life

I got a call from a friend going into town today. She is going to meet me when I have to see the sheriff and stay with me. Then she said she doesn't want me to drive so she is going to scoop me up and take me shopping for Cade's graduation present from the school. We are getting him a backpack from L.L.Bean. Something new and bigger and nice and filling it with supplies. I know he will love it. I feel better not being alone and then doing something to take my mind off stuff. I will hopefully have a full bottle of little helpers by then too...lol.

I will try and keep this brief. Sofie was taking her nap yesterday and I turned the ringer off on the phone so she could rest. Will came home and checked the messages. There was a call from the sheriff's office. Just a name and number for me to call back. Connor was the only one not home and I was freaked. I returned the call. He was fine thank goodness. I have to meet with the sheriff after I drop Sofie off this afternoon because Sean is taking me to court. I had to assure Will no one was dead or injured since he was the one who got the message before me. I have to pick up the papers today. I had no idea this was happening and was very upset and shocked last night. So much so I missed my class. I called a friend in the class and she is good friends with the teacher so she told him what was going on. Since I haven't looked at the papers yet I don't know the details of what Sean is after but from what the sheriff told me over the phone from what he saw at a glance this much I know, Sean wants to end child support. I guess he has a page of stuff listing his change of circumstances of why he shouldn't have to pay. He had enough for a lawyer though it seems. He wants to modify the visitation so Cade, Sofie and Connor live with him during the week. Cade would go to a different middle school next year than the one he has already toured, met the teachers, already has friends and where his older brothers. attended. Sofie would be going to elementary school in the city. He also wants me to pay the kids medical bills. I don't know what else. I feel sick and shocked. It seems to be a ploy to get out of child support. At the moment I am not angry. I am still in too much shock for that. Hurt, scared, worried, those are closer to what I am feeling. Will wanted to know what the call was about since no one was dead or dying and knowing Will as well as I do there was no way I could lie about it. I tried to be honest while omitting as much as possible. Frankly there is no way I can hide the fact I have to go to court. So my game plan for the kids is just letting them know that their dad wants to tweak some stuff with our divorce and the first one is just like a rough draft in a writing assignment. Now we are just going to do some editing and it's just a bummer that in order to do so we have to go to court. Just normal legal stuff. Annoying like taxes and getting your car registered but normal. That way they know why I will have to go into town a lot in the next month or more and where I will be but with no details. It's kind of funny in a way where I can tell the boys as a parent I want to know where the are and who they are with so I know they are safe and they use the same argument right back at me. Where are you going to be today mom? Who are you seeing? Have fun and be careful mom. Sweet, but in times like this makes me have to do a honesty tap dance. Will of course knew something was awry but said nothing other than narrowing his eyes at me. He is suspicious. Cade of course wanted to know right away if his not wanting to see his dad had anything to do with it. He still remembers Sean threatening him to take him away. I told him not to worry about it and focus on his graduation. That is was all just details and that I would handle it. Connor came home and I told him zippo. This morning I had to tell him I wouldn't be home until the late boat. He asked why and I told him I had to pick up some paperwork and stuff concerning his dad and apologized if I seemed weepy or anything. He looked at me and said, "Dad taking you to court?"

Up at 5am for the ride in town to make Cade's 8am therapy appointment. As much as I loathe getting up so early I love how easy it is to get around the city at that time of day. I can park at the therapist's office which is usually a nightmare. There are going to be moving to a bigger place soon. I hope it is easy to get to with better parking. The weather said cloudy today, chance of rain in the afternoon and 70. So we dressed cool, brought umbrellas just in case but no raincoats. Try 59 and constant rain. Figures. I am glad I brought extra clothes for Sofie. Cade's counselor said again how impressed she was at his vocabulary about relationships. I guess with his dad's illness he did get thrown into the deep end. She felt he could come every other week instead of weekly. She really wants him to practice not pushing his feelings away and over thinking things. To know what he reacting to. He knows anger quite well but is that from feeling hurt or something else? I see no signs that counseling so far is helping bring Cade any closer to seeing his dad. I do think it is doing him a whole lot of good.

My final was killer. I did ok, I think. We did practice assessments. I did well, teacher was impressed especially since I have been out because of illness (mine and Sofie's) he gave me excused absences (whoot!).

There must be, must be a way to disentangle us from Sean's influence. His times of neediness. His times of thinking he can order us around. Just the other day I mentioned how he invited Connor to a cookout then when Connor got there told him he had to leave because he was an adult party. How cruel. Did he do it thinking Connor wouldn't come anyway? Who knows. It is best not to try and imagine what someone else is thinking. Especially Sean. He thoughts are all over the map and I get whiplash for even trying to understand him sometimes. Today he sends Connor and email. Not to apologize for his behavior but to chastise him about school.

I am about the same as far as my coughing goes. Sofie took the last of her antibiotics today and is pretty chipper. She still coughs if she gets too active but overall is oodles better. I, on the other hand just feel crappy. Sick of being sick. Bit by the lazy bug. I just maintain and am not moving forward. I have my final tonight and could care less. I know the stuff or I don't at this point. I will do some brief reviewing this afternoon but I am not going to stress myself out. I have laundry to take care of and have no intentions of doing so. Bad. Very bad. I am working today though. I guess that's something.