Our Island Family Life

As if Connor missing, well not missing but having a forced rescheduling, of his appointment on Friday wasn't bad enough he missed his therapy session on Monday. As anyone who reads this who has a loved one with depression or bipolar knows there are good days and bad days. Connor had a good day on Friday despite missing the appointment during a freaking snow storm. I won't blather on since I wrote about that already but I had high hopes. Come Sunday the bad moods began to trickle in like a snow flurry. Sunday night he asked if he could go to a friends house here on the island and I agreed because he usually perks up from a visit but reminded him to be on the morning boat. He has never missed one coming from there before. Until Monday. I had that feeling of wanting to throttle him. You know what I mean. It was 10 below zero. I had to bring Sofie because I didn't have a sitter. The car had to be jumped. I didn't realize Connor had missed the boat until we pulled away from the dock. I had to take Will to the campus bookstore to get his book for his college class so I grabbed on to that silver lining so I didn't feel like I was wasting my whole day. The car in town was still cold even with the heater running, just not freezing. The book store was closed even though the sign said it was supposed to be open and their website said they were supposed to be open. Will and I were both miffed. I took Will to school and we were very late because of a train accident. We were in traffic for over and hour when it usually takes 15 minutes. Thankfully Sofie didn't have to pee. Silver lining (mantra, mantra). Then I decided to skip going to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription for Sofie since she wasn't completely out yet and Cade's school to hunt for his coat to try and make the 10am boat. We made it but the traffic was bad going back too. I had swallowed my panic and took a route I was unfamiliar with hoping to save time. It worked but I hate not knowing where I am exactly. I figured if I got lost and missed the boat it wouldn't matter because I would miss it if I went back the way I originally came. We had to run though and amazingly Sofie and I didn't slip. She was fabulous all day. (mantra, mantra) We got back to the island and I am running thoughts in my head of what to say to Connor without getting angry. It is hard to remember sometimes that sometimes he can't help it. Lower those expectations. Anyway, I had to jump the car again to get home. Loggers on my road nearly ran me down. Then my brakes decided to take a holiday just before my driveway. I didn't panic knowing I could turn into the driveway and be fine. Of course it was trash day and the cans were thrown into the driveway. I had a choice, run them over and have to buy new cans or get half in half out and hit a snowbank. I went for the snowbank. I really tried not killing Connor when I found out he was home and walked right past the cans and recycling bin without taking care of them which landed me in that snowbank. I got Sofie inside then went back out to try and get out of it. Connor came out to help (not willingly) but was giving up before he even started. I asked him to shovel out one wheel while I put down some sand on the others and he said, "There's too much snow." Arrrggghhh! I told him to try anyway and that sometimes we have to do stuff we don't want to. He did, banged his hand and freaked out throwing the shovel. I made him get it after he stopped failing around in pain and sent him inside to check on it and warm up. It was below zero all day, windchill close to 30 below. So, I shoveled and dug and had to jump the car, again. Then I ran out of gas. Wonderful. I went inside and called for help. Oh, and the loggers came by about 6 times and never offered to help out once. Insert nasty swearing names for them "here". Several hours later our own island Handy Manny (Bobby) came by with gas. He was going to bring his tractor down to pull me out but it would start either in the cold weather but he had a hitch on his car so we tried that since I wasn't in the bank far. Just enough to be a pain. Then the key wouldn't turn in my car. (scream) After a few tries I got it. Had to jump it again, then I got out of the bank. I only needed a little nudge. I think that made it all the more frustrating for me knowing that. I never got a chance to talk Connor on Monday because it was a really bad day and I knew.....knew....any conversation would be a waste of time. He slept nearly all day. On Tuesday he was somewhat better and we talked. He is back on an upward swing. It seems like when the bad days come it is like a switch. Good days seem to come back gradually and stick around for a while. He has his rescheduled appointment for this Friday and another therapy session scheduled. I told him he wasn't allowed to go his friends house on days before appointments. He agreed. If I had said this on Monday he would have gotten nasty and bitter. As I said, it would have been a waste. Stable, unstable. See the difference? Anywho, his birthday is tomorrow. I hope his grandparents send a card. I am sure they will eventually...:) He wants cash of course. Will asked him last night if he wanted his present now or on Thursday. Connor said now of course so Will handed him $60 in cash. I was a bit shocked and Will's generosity. Will is kind of scrooge like with his money. Connor was so stunned it took him a minute to even say anything much less say thank you, which he did once his ability to speak was restored. Will was smug.