Our Island Family Life

So, my interview is tomorrow. I am not too worried other than figuring out how to get there. I won't be alone though. I started having congestion again. I wonder if stress is making me sick?

I have my interview set for next week. I have nothing to wear of course but I still have a sweater set I borrowed from someone I used for court. I guess I will wear that. I was told this will just be a 15 minute thing. I also won't be alone so it should be ok. I have no idea how to get there and neither does the postmaster....it's funny.

Working today. School is done until March. Been so high strung I am feeling the whoosh of relaxation. It's a busy house today. Besides babysitting, Will has a friend over so there are six kids in the house now. Still, it's rather quiet for some reason. I am sure I will regret saying that soon enough. I was able to get some food shopping done on Tuesday. I had planned on running in and quickly coming back but I was invited to lunch and I thought, why not? So, I went and it was nice. I got caught up on some island gossip and met up with a friend who had moved off for the winter. I was still able to do my shopping so we aren't down to dry milk and lemonade to drink.

So, I will be having my interview for the post office job either next week or the week after. The date is being set up. I am a little shocked but things are looking good. I am rather nervous. I will be going into town with the postmaster here since she has to be in the interview as well. If all goes well I would be training soon and starting around the beginning of May.

So, I am down to the wire again with the bills. Love that feeling. I was able to work yesterday and I am even babysitting today. I know I have some money coming and that is reassuring. I haven't done my taxes yet. I have an appointment coming up. I have to deal with the whole student loan thing which is new to me. I highly doubt that "the check is in the mail" bit I got from Sean. Even then he said it was only part of what he owed from court. On top of that I haven't heard anything about what DHHS is doing to get at his assets. I am sure they are wondering how he can buy a new house and still be behind in his support payments. I know I do. He was never able to buy a home for our family in 20 years. I guess going from home to home is his new thing like he used to do with shoes. Try it on then sell it and get a new pair. You can not tell me that his bipolar isn't a factor in all that. Anyway, nothing new to say, just stressed. Finals for school is going on. I didn't do anything last week so I am crunching now. Being sick is such a waste.

Not too much to say. I was sick last week. High fever and the whole shebang. Sofie was ill too so we didn't do much. I really don't remember a whole lot of last week. We slept a lot. I have to do some shopping in a big way. We are out of all the essentials. I am pretty much out of money. I am owed some for cleaning but the guy that pays me is off island. Sean said he had a check for me of "some of the medical bills he is supposed to pay." He wanted to know if I would be bringing the kids in this weekend and that he would give me the check on Friday. I was still feeling exhausted and the phone message rubbed me the wrong way. He was using money as bait for me to contact him. I really hate that. The kids are with me for vacation so there was no reason for him to ask about the kids. He was bugging me the week before as well asking if I was going to bring the kids in when it was my weekend. He just assumed that since he canceled his visit the weekend before I would "trade" with him. I just didn't respond and left it at that. I am following the rules to the letter and it isn't sitting well with him. He said he even drove down to "meet us." Well, that's his problem. It isn't that I am trying to be mean. I am just tired of all the games. I was just thrilled how one of his emails to me was sent on Valentines Day and was quite nasty. Maybe he is having trouble with the fact that day was our anniversary so he needed to be a jerk to reaffirm his new life. I dunno. Anyway, I was feeling down all week and I am sure my being sick didn't help. At least being stuffed up gave me a reason not to cry.

I have Connor's cough now. Wonderful. I hope it's just a fluke. I had a horrible migraine yesterday afternoon. It has been so long since I have had one I had almost forgotten how much they wipe you out even after the pain is gone. I am still feeling it's wrath. *sigh*

I got an angry email from Sean today. I am not very upset about it but I need to take some time to think of how to respond or even if I should. It is in two parts, the first part was about visits. Last week he didn't take the kids due to illness so he emailed me about switching weekends so he could have them this upcoming weekend instead. I didn't respond because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I wasn't just ignoring the email (sent on Monday). In the past I would have obliged and have felt bad for him. I would think about, "what if I needed a change?," if I do this then he would for me. I never really thought to much of it if was good for the kids because really, it isn't. I used to think any time was better than no time for them to have with their dad. Waaaaayyy, back to even before I was divorced my therapist had told me how much he was an advocate for kids and parents to be together but there are some times, in some instances where it may not be in the best interest. I knew that of course but didn't think it applied to Sean. Sean himself said if he spent more time with them then they would be fine and not be as angry. As it has turned out things have gotten so much worse. Cade and Sofie who have spent the most time hate being there and ask frequently to stay home. Cade doesn't wish to go at all and thinks about being with his dad in other settings like the way he would visit an aunt or uncle. Meet at the mall or grab some lunch. That's about it. There is another mom who lives here who has to see her kid on certain weekends like Sean. (Long story) She was sick on the last visit and wasn't able to get him but he didn't come up the next weekend or anything. She missed it and that is that. No harm no foul, life happens. I have never been able to say to Sean, "Gee, I'm sorry you were sick and it's too bad you didn't see the kids. They understand, I hope you feel better and we will be there to meet you on your next pick up time." That is what I should say. I know it. I shouldn't try and bend over backwards all the time to accommodate him. I know it is something I need to work on. I feel like I should make an excuse like I have company or something. So, I had finally decided to bite the bullet and keep my weekend when he sent the email. I wouldn't have waited any longer than today to make sure he knew well in advance. He may not do that for me I certainly would do that for him. Not because it's him but because it's good manners. He said something to the effect of how he was "still waiting". Like I made him wait a life time. I had emailed him weeks ago about arranging the holiday visits and he never said boo to me. I didn't get upset about it. I just am a bit grumbly about the double standard.

I figured I would add the link to my little links sidebar over there about buying stamps. Island post offices are always in danger of being shut down (like schools) due to small revenue. If businesses or people order their stamps from an island post office it helps them out. So, the link has a pdf that can be printed out so anyone can buy their stamps. It's a bit old so I am not sure if the stamp prices are correct but a quick call the the post master of your choice will be happy to make sure everything is done correctly. When a school, post office or store closes it's just one step further to ending the community as a whole and leaving it a summer play ground. *boo* *hiss* We all need stamps right?

I am the only person/family to live down on this end of the island in the winter. The fire road video is on the other end on the same side. Now, no one lives down there in the winter and the loggers worked down there first and I think forgot what it means to have to deal with other people. I have had to speak to the foreman (who I work for cleaning the houses they rent) that I need to them not to be blocking the road around 8am and 11am on weekdays because I take Sofie to school. I drive her because it is a bit of a walk for her especially when it is freezing out. We used to walk every morning until around the end of October. Things were good for about a week then they started blocking me again. Most of the time they would move pretty quickly and I am pretty patient knowing they have a job to do. There were a few sketchy times when the big tractor trailer truck came by me a little too close for my comfort. It is a very narrow road. I don't have a huge truck like they do that can drive in ditches if needed. In fact all the crap they have left on the road has been dragging under my car now and I can't get it out. *sigh* Anyway, yesterday I couldn't get Sofie to school at all. They were loading huge logs into a huge tractor trailer truck. I waited nearly 15 minutes and turned my engine off to not waste gas. I am nearly out. Finally I gave up and I had to drive home. Backwards. There isn't room to turn around. Up a hill. A steep hill. In a car that has trouble going up hills in forward. I was not pleased. I called the school and since I had already spoken the foreman once I let others do the displeased vocalizations. About 10 minutes later a friend was able to break through the lines and picked her up. I was able to go get her without trouble at 11am but on the way back home the road was again blocked and to top it off Gary our road crew guy was in between us, with a plow, headed right for me. I again had to reverse it back to the square. A shorter and less harrowing trip but since I loathe driving in reverse since I suck at it, was again not pleased. My problem with reverse is that I get my left and rights all screwed up. I have had this problem all my life so I don't see it improving any. A brain malfunction. We all have problems. Today the road was cleared. More phone calls had been made on my behalf. Here is the thing. They forget that I still have to come home after I drop her off. I was coming home today and I was nearly at the top of that big hill and there was the tractor trailer truck that I swear is out for my life like something from a Steven King novel. I could see the panic in the drivers eye (we were that close even though I was driving at a snails pace because of my intrepid island car) and I knew he had trouble stopping. I had to reverse down the hill and I tried to get back up to sneak past him. The car didn't want to make the hill. Reverse some more and try again. Make the top and can see, no room. Crap. Reverse again nearly a quarter of a mile to a slight space to hug the side of the road while he barrels past. I get slightly stuck since I am really in a snow filled ditch covered in ice. Engine begins to smoke but I get out and make it home. I am beginning to think I would rather go without the cleaning money to get these guys away from me, along with the killer truck.

Where you can see all the foot tracks is our fire road, not an "official" road but wide enough, if not properly maintained, for our fire truck and ambulance. This all used to be covered in trees. In the summer they would be hanging over the road for beautiful shade. You could only see the sky as the wind shifted the trees. Now it's a barren waste land. I need to find pics from before to show the comparison.



The highest point on the island. You were not able to see the ocean from here before. Shocking.

After I posted all those links yesterday about our school and all the improvements we have done for it, today I got a link in my email about the city thinking of closing our school. Our island school has been very proactive. Things like our computers, ipad, smart board, green house, even supplies like tissues and writing utensils have been provided by grants we have submitted for ourselves, donations and fundraising. Our school even won an award for using the lowest amount electricity in the state. Now before you say, "well, you are a tiny school so...", this was calculated out by previous usage and other math stuff to be fair for all schools. We have to supply our own drinking water after the well became contaminated and it is volunteers not the school budget that is paying to have it taken care of. Basically, our island pays the highest taxes for the city due to all the waterfront or water view homes and we get pretty much zip in return. We are lucky to get the salaries for employees here. One teacher, one Ed Tech, one custodian and one sanitation/road works person. It costs $120,000 to have our school. We pay over $350,000 in taxes. Most of the school costs are the teachers salaries and the custodian. We pay for our own building maintenance except the cleaning. We don't add to food costs since we have no school lunch program, the city pays for the building insurance. The PTC paid for our heating, siding, playground (with a grant) and replacement windows. We should be getting more not less. The whole island gets less than the rest of the city. We have talked of leaving the city before but with only about 60 of us here year round it would be tough. I would like to though to see the city lose a huge chunk of taxes then see how they like it. We still have dirt roads here (which we like) and yet have to every year get more and more regulated by the city. They want us to have street signs now and we recently had to start paying for registrations for our golf carts (more money to the city). No wonder the city runs out of money. Anyway, I am just ranting. If they try and close the school we may just go private. We have talked about it before as a backup plan to the city closing the school. We will be having four kids coming into the school over the next few years and there are five in there now. The school has gone down to one student before and that was really bad, around 15 years ago. One of the other island schools our school communicates to only has two students and they are brothers. A constant struggle for a disappearing way of life. So sad. I understand the need to cut costs but we pay our way for our school and then some.

On the left I have added some links. All of the pictures above can be found in various places in the links. I added the Cliff school's web page, the island's web page which has some other links in it (check out lobster tales), link to the schools YouTube page with lots of their videos and projects and two weather links. One is a camera set to a view of our wharf which refreshes every 5 minutes or so so you can see what the weather is doing and if the boat is here...:), the other is a blog link to a site that connects some of the outer island schools study of the weather sponsored by the Island Institute. These schools also communicate to each other via the smart board for group activities like book group discussions. These groups also got together for the middle school retreat Cade went to a few weekends ago. Lot's of stuff to look through and revisit.

The girl from Cade's school passed away Friday evening. She did commit suicide by hanging. Her parents found her only seconds afterwords but the damage was too much and she only deteriorated until she finally passed. What a sad and terrible tragedy.

Has anybody checked the school web page lately? There are a lot of interesting video clips. I will post a link on the sidebar so I won't keep doing it here...:) The xmas party play is on there. It was so cute. Anyway, the above picture was taken before that last two huge snowstorms. You can only see the snowman's head now the rest of him is buried in snow. This winter has been interesting. I am not complaining at all. It reminds me of winters when I was a kid. Lot's of snow and lots of days below zero for good ice to harden on the lakes. It had been warmer and not as much fun in recent years. I figure if it's going to be cold and bothersome then there better be something to show for it like good ice for skating and enough snow for playing in. In the above pic, left to right from the back: Olivia; Mr. Snowman; Pop Pop (the school teachers dad, all the kids have adopted him as another grandpa); Second row: Elwen; Julian; Aiden; Bottom: Eliza; Kai; Sofie.

I have realized that when I am tired and have a headache I can get nasty. Not outwardly but in my thoughts. If I have one or the other I am ok but combined it's a nasty mix.

Things have been whirling around at quite a pace recently. I have been remiss in a few things and so have gotten behind. I am really struggling to keep up with my school work. My mind is so full I am having trouble focusing on the material. I am getting it done but if I am retaining it is a different question.