Our Island Family Life

I woke up this morning congested, again, and coming off a dream about Sean. Never a great start to the day. I have been grumpy all day because of it and off center. I don't have them very often but once and I while I have days when I am really angry with Sean for all he has done. I used get sad but not so much anymore. His choices, his problems. Annoyed sometimes? Sure. Just not, angry. That is a whole other level. Maybe my mind is subconsciously thinking about having to go to court at the end of the month. Sean has not made indications he is going to go with the proposed child support agreement we went over at mediation. I am really pissed off thinking he will get his way again and I will get screwed by him, again. My main worry about the money aspect is that he won't have to pay his back support and owed medical and taxes other than on his own time table, which we all know is never. I don't like but accept the fact I will have to pay him for Connor. Even though I know Connor will be back eventually and we will have to redo the agreement again. Whatever. I agreed to that. No big deal. He wants the agreement to reflect that he no longer has to pay for Connor and I do and nothing else. The ONLY way to get him to pay what he owes for the other stuff is to have it in the child support so DHHS can collect it. Otherwise I can kiss that money good bye unless I file another court hearing against him to debt. I'm not even asking him to pay more than he is paying now and has proven he can pay. If he gets a real full time job I can go back and ask for more ( I will ask for alimony too, you bet ya). I am getting worked up in my sleep about it, is the problem. I can avoid thinking about it pretty much the rest of the time. I have too much to do than worry about it. Damn subconscious.