Our Island Family Life

Just got a call from Cade's counselor. I had gotten an email from Sean yesterday telling me he would pick Cade up after school and take him to his session today and that Cade could spend the night with him and he would take him to school Wednesday. I was rather confused since Cade didn't have an appointment scheduled for today. He missed last week since he took the bus and got on the boat instead of waiting out front like I had told him. He lost tv for week for that. I called yesterday afternoon to schedule an appointment hopefully for this week. I asked for either Wednesday or Friday since those are the days I would be in town. There wasn't anything available so I got one for next week. Then I got Sean's email. I was a little mad that he is just assuming Cade will stay with him. We talked about it in mediation that on days if Cade had after school things that we would present to him in therapy that he had the option to stay with his dad if Cade wanted to. Cade doesn't have to if he doesn't want to. So far we haven't been to therapy yet to discuss it and yet Sean is already trying to implement it without Cade even knowing about this. I had brought it up casually shortly after the mediation to feel Cade out and he burst out crying and said he couldn't talk about it so I haven't brought it up since. So, that is why I was mad with Sean. Also, what session? I had no idea what Sean was talking about. So, I told Sean he didn't have to worry about it since Cade didn't have a session scheduled today and I told him when Cade's next session was scheduled. Sean replied, "He doesn't have one?" I answered, no, again and that was that.

So, the call. She said Sean had called and he was the one who had scheduled a session for him and Cade for today. I had no idea and neither did Cade. Sean never told me. When I was on the phone with the office yesterday no one mentioned it. I am angry all over again. First, how Sean could even think of scheduling a session without telling me he was going to do it in the first place and why pisses me off. He is again trying to push things in order to have Cade come live with him. He has been told by the counselor that she needs to decide what is best clinically for Cade. Even though I agreed that Sean should be in sessions and that Kathryn should be in them eventually that didn't mean right now. It also didn't mean he should rush right out and make it happen. It was supposed to be to for us to tell Cade what his dad and I decided together (in therapy) and how we can make it happen over time. I didn't want Cade to feel pushed or forced. It is bad enough he feels he is being pushed to like Kathryn when he doesn't by his dad. You can't make people like other people. They may never like each other but maybe they can find a way to be civil and tolerate the situation. In any case it will take a long time. The counselor told me she had told Sean he needed to tell me about the session since we should be the ones talking about this and for her to not be a middle man about sessions. I agreed and have been keeping Sean informed about sessions. She said she can't explain why Sean didn't do that. I told her I understand but what can I do? She said she would cancel today's session and I said that would be best because Cade had no idea about this and would be very upset to see his dad just show up at school to take him to a session he wasn't prepared for.

I see Sean tomorrow for a "co-parenting " therapy session and maybe we can address some of these things there. What a mess is all I can say. Sean still hasn't signed the paperwork for the child support either. If he hasn't by now then I have no doubt we will be in court. The whole thing sucks.