Our Island Family Life

It was a whirlwind weekend. Swim on Friday then we (Will, Cade, Sofie and me, Connor didn't show up) drove up to visit my mom. The next day we visited Sean's parents since Will hadn't seen them all summer. We stayed a long time and they were sad Connor hadn't come. They had no idea he was staying with Sean. In fact they said they hadn't heard from him in a long time. They had no idea what he was doing or if he even had a job. They are not very happy with him in how he has been taking care of the kids but what can they do? I filled them in on Connor's behavior. His grandma hopes with him staying with his dad his dad can see what is going on. I told her Sean may see things but not make the connection to the depression and just try and force things. Since Sean doesn't see his own mental illness seeing it in his child is just not going to happen. It would mean Sean having to look at himself which he is just not ready to do and may never be. His grandpa said he had just messaged Connor the day before and said they should get together and Connor had said he would like that and it was a good idea. I told him how Connor knew I was going to being everyone up for a visit and Connor had the chance to come and couldn't manage to show up. His grandpa said he was surprised Connor didn't say anything but I told him I wasn't. This is how he is right now. His grandpa wants to have a talk with him since he is concerned. I have been filling him in from time to time about Connor but Sean hasn't told him anything. I told him he could but Connor has a fragile ego and might see "the chat" as an attack or a put down. He said he was used to that from Sean. I nodded because he is right. So, I don't know if he will get a chance to talk to Connor or not or what good it will do. I am just going to not worry about it and let it go.

Sunday we went to the fair. It was a lot of fun. Sofie had a blast. I actually won a prize for the first time ever. She wanted the pink panther in the above picture so that was what I got. I could go on and on about the day but to sum it up everyone had a good time. We are all tired of course. We ate sugar and other bad fair things which was all delicious. We rode rides and took film of the animals. These week we will edit the movie and post it. Sofie wants to share it with her class.

We got home Monday and I had my classes. I had done my work the week before so I was set. I am still doing laundry and getting organized from the weekend.

Yesterday night the phone rang and it was Connor. He actually called me. He is not doing very well. His girlfriend broke up with him. I had heard the rumor from Cade who heard it from a friend. I didn't call Connor or email him about it. I figured if he wanted to tell me he would. He talked to me for 2 1/2 hours and I was the one who had to hang up so I could put Sofie and Cade to bed. Sean had emailed me that day telling me about the break up. I think he knew Connor wanted to talk to me about it and tried to email me first to "be a concerned parent". He said he tried to get Connor in early to see his counselor but couldn't. That is crap. You could do it if you insist. I have done it before. Sean can't bs me about therapy. I am very familiar with the office and the counselor. Sean said Connor was fine now. No way. I hadn't even spoken to Connor and I knew better because I know Connor. Connor told me about it near the end of the call. He was leading up to it. He said he was upset for a while but was fine now. Since as he is telling me this he was crying I could tell he wasn't "fine". She cheated on him and lied to him so I certainly know how that feels. He is having trouble sleeping. He feels like he isn't doing enough even though he is busy all the time. He missed his old friends. He feels used by his new friends since he always gives so much to them and they don't even talk to him when he needs them. He sold all his things for money and is now realizing what a mistake he made. He is wanting to do this and that, very manic stuff which worries me immensely and at the same time he wants to just do nothing and relax since he feels overwhelmed. He wants to prioritize his life but doesn't know where to start. He misses us and wants to come home more. He feels he has been stupid to not be here more. I don't have any expectations he will do so though. He says he will do all these things and hardly ever follows through. He said he would come home soon though. He hates that they don't have a phone there. He has no cell phone either so he can't call anyone or can people call him. He has to ask to use his dad's phone and Sean doesn't like his minutes being used. Didn't I tell them Connor needed a phone? It is very bad for Connor when it isn't connected to people. I learned that the hard way through two years of seeing him depressed. I know what things help him. He isn't allowed much internet access there so he hasn't been able to check my emails I have sent him. He hates that. He is very conflicted right now. I just told him he can come home whenever he wants. If it's just for a few hours, days or weeks, whatever he wants. We'll see. I can't even touch on all the things he says he is doing but I know these signs. I will call the counselor and let him know what I know and then..let it go. It is awful to see this happen and to see that Sean thinks spending one day with him and Connor is fine really makes me mad. Thank goodness for therapy as a backup.

I gotta do some school work now..:)