Our Island Family Life

I am working right now and I think I will get about three days worth in this week. I have to take Cade in for therapy on Thursday and Friday I have to bring Sofie in for a visit with her dad. She was a mess when she came home yesterday. She had a scraped knee, stiff hair from "something" and her face and feet were filthy. She said she fell down the stairs there and had the bruises to prove it. Her shirt was ripping. One she just got from her goodwill shopping trip. Does he watch her at all? I know she if four and active but come on.

Connor is mad at me again. He was in a rather good mood when he came home and I really hated to break it but we had to have a little chat. On Friday on the way home I was talking to one of the other island kids who informed me Connor had sold him a boxed set of dvd's I had been looking for for a while. I had thought I lent them to a friend who was interested in the series. I was very upset. Not at not having the set. It's just an object. I felt jolted and even though I hate to compare, it felt like Sean was back home. So many, many times over the years I would find out about things he did or said weeks, months even years after the fact and it hurt. I felt like an idiot. I felt humiliated. I was told things by other people about stuff they assumed I knew about. Things I should have known but was kept from me. Intentionally or not I couldn't say. I was told things I should have heard from my loved one not other people. Anyway, the months before Sean left he was selling things left and right that did not belong to him. The kids were very angry to find their stuff missing. Connor included. He was furious to find his games or movies gone. Now he is doing the same thing. Since he has an absolute fit. If I compare him to his dad I did not mention ANY of this. Not how I felt, how embarrassed I was in front of this kid and his mother when they saw from the shock on my face Connor did not have permission to sell the item. How I told them not to worry about it and keep it. The other mom offered to return it but I told them no. What's done was done and Connor has to handle things from here on in. Instead I told him how I was looking for the dvd's. He said they were on the shelf. I said, Yes they were...in Andrew's house. Connor was caught and now he was defensive and even though I was very neutral about it he started in right away in saying how it had belonged to him and he had a right to sell it if he wanted to. I told him it used to belong to him. What he sold belonged to me. He said it didn't and was getting into the "fine whatever" thing. I reminded him how he had tried to sell it before and I stopped him since I really wanted to keep it. He said he would sell it to me instead of the store he was going to trade it in to. I made a deal with him that since he owed me money I would instead take off some of what he owed me in exchange for the set. He didn't want to at first since he wanted to get something at the store with the exchange but I was pretty persuasive about how much he owed me and this would be a good thing about getting out of that debt. He agreed and I made him also agree to let me know about anything else he wanted to sell in case I wanted it first. Also, only a week or so ago he was telling his brothers how he was going to sell the playstation which in NO way belongs to him and that is totally out of bounds for him to do. I had to tell him he couldn't do that and he was again defensive and said he wasn't going to do that. At that time I did remind him of his dad's actions and asked him to remember how that made him feel. Not matter how you dress it up, it's stealing. So, he tells me he "doesn't remember" us ever having that conversation. I guess that makes what he did ok then? The selling, the "I don't remember" conversations, the humiliation. It is Sean all over again. I can't stand it and I can't tell him his behavior is the same. He just told me fine whatever, if "you say we said that then there's nothing I can say"....aaaagggghh. As if he is humoring ME. I am the crazy one. I am the nut job who is lying and making up conversations. Again, his dad all over again. Making me doubt myself and my actions. Then he walked out saying, "Fine, I guess that's just another thing I owe you." He said that because I told him he would have to replace the dvd's once he got a job and began earning some money. He is mad because he wanted to buy himself some sneakers. I never said he couldn't get himself things he needed. What's worse, Sean said the same exact thing to me not long after he left. He knew he did things wrong but never replaced anything. Connor is walking a very dangerous path and there is nothing I can do to stop it.