Our Island Family Life

Connor came home yesterday from his weekend out. Friday night he went to a friends house. He called and did everything I asked. I was pleased. Saturday he was unsure if he wanted to go to his dad's for the cookout I mentioned before. Finally he decided to go since his grandparents would be there and two of his aunts. When he called Saturday morning to ask if he could go he said he would be spending the night there and coming home on Sunday. I said that was fine but to leave his phone on in case I needed to call him. Sunday rolls around and he gets a call here about him owing a lawn to mow. If I knew he had one to mow I would have told him to do that first before he had left on Friday. I was not happy. I tried calling him several times and no answer. His phone isn't set up to take messages. I wanted to make sure he came on a early enough boat to be able to take care of the lawn. I broke down and called Sean. No answer. Like father, like son I guess. I was getting angrier. I left a message for Connor to call and that he needed to be home on the 4pm boat. He had work and if I had known he hadn't done his responsibilities I wouldn't have allowed him to visit. Did Connor call? Did Sean? Nope. In the end Connor did come home on the 4 ferry and told me he got my message. I told him that was great but I didn't know that and he should have called. He sat down and said he was glad to be home. I put my rant on hold because I could tell he was down. He said he had a bad weekend. I asked him what happened. He said Friday night was fine but being at his dad's was pretty bad. His dad had called him, invited him and when Connor got there he was told by his dad it was an adult party and he would have to leave. The girl and the baby weren't there. There was drinking which I doubt was very bad but makes him uncomfortable knowing his grandfather was there who is a recovering alcoholic and his dad has a very low tolerance for the stuff and gets nasty. He left with his grandparents and spent the night with them. He found out one of his aunts moved to Colorado last month and no one told us. His uncle refused to go to the party because he is still angry with Sean for how he treats the kids and because Sean owes him money now too. Connor got to see him and his uncle told him he was moving to Wyoming for a year and a half to go to college there next month. Connor felt awful for not even knowing it was happening and the last person who was really supportive of what he is going through other than his grandfather from that side of the family is going away. On Sunday he went to church with his grandparents. None of us have anything against church and we go to the one here on the island but Sean's parents are a little...over the top. So, this was like prison to him. His dad picked him up from there and dropped him off at the bay lines. His felt his dad totally ignored him, mislead him about the cookout, and basically told him to get lost. I have to wonder why Sean asked for our other kids to come when he was going to make them leave anyway. Was he planning on dumping them with his parents? A sitter? I hope Connor learns from this. If he wants to spend time with his grandparents he needs to arrange time with them separately from his father. That is what Will and Cade are doing. He needs to not make assumptions on what he thinks time with his dad will be like. It is never filled with attention. He also needs to not assume just because his dad invited him somewhere and asks to spend time with his that this is going to happen. Take what you can get and leave the rest. Otherwise, he is just going to get hurt again and with his depressive personality that is a dangerous combination. He is in bed now and is obviously down. I hope we can cheer him up today with our little grilling party today.