Friday, May 21, 2010

Sick with Guilt

Last night I missed yet another class. I feel terrible about it. I also was not able to finish the house I was supposed to clean and I am seriously thinking about cutting back jobs even though I need the money. Things are just going to have suck financially until Sofie is self sufficient.


Will was staying in town with a friend last night because he is going to a presentation that starts at 8am today so if he took the morning boat he still wouldn't get there in time. Connor was supposed to be home on the 4pm boat so he could stay with Cade and Sofie (who are still sick) so I could get to class which starts at 6pm. He didn't come home. I called his cell. No answer. He didn't call me either. I guess my normal first reaction would have been mad he didn't call, instead I felt worried. Maybe that should be my first reaction anyway but with how scatterbrained he has been my mind usually doesn't go there. So, I had to call a friend of mine who is in the class and tell her I wasn't going to make it until he got home which wouldn't be until at least 7:30pm. I would miss a lot but the class runs until 9pm so I wouldn't miss everything. Connor got home and I realized my 6th sense must have been tingling because he looked awful. He looked like he was about to cry. He was having trouble breathing and was exhausted. I asked him what happened and he had missed the bus and was sitting at the bay lines from 3:30 until the 5:45 ferry. He had left his phone at home and that's why he hadn't called. I reminded him to use the pay phone next time. He said he was glad he had his ipod or he would have gone nuts. He was over heated (it was around 80 here yesterday) which I think factored into his breathing issues and exhaustion. I made him drink some cool water, change his clothes and sat with him. He was pretty depressed but at least he was talking to me. He was worried about a friend of his and a bunch of other things. Just full of worries. He was upset at his science teacher. He think she hates him. She keep making him redo his work and when he asks her questions she tells him to be quiet. He just doesn't understand how he is supposed to do a better job if she doesn't answer the stuff he doesn't understand. She tells him, "I am trying to teach so be quiet." I asked him if he has tried writing his questions down and asking them after class or after school instead of during class time and he says he goes after school to redo his work but she just doesn't answer his questions at all. He told me he applied for a work permit so he could try and get a summer job. He is thinking of applying at a few places in town. That was a new one for me. I told him I have to sign it ( I had to do that for Will too) he didn't know that. I talked with him about stuff he liked and after an hour and a half of making him drink, checking his breathing and talking with him he seemed a little better. He still refused to eat though. He hadn't eaten in town either. I was worried about that. The first thing he does when he gets home is eat. Then he eats dinner with us later on. He is skinny but eats like a horse. Of course at 8:30 is was pointless to try and go to class. It takes me 15 minutes just to walk there. I have class all day on Saturday. I didn't see Connor this morning but got up and went to school. Since I have to bring Sofie to town today for a visit with her dad I may not even see Connor until 7pm tonight. I hope he is ok. I will try and call him but I don't know if he will answer. Then I will be gone pretty much all day on Saturday. I don't like being away when I can see he is not in the best of places mentally. I am just worried.

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