Our Island Family Life

Did well on my quiz. I haven't had time to study at all today yet. I hope to this evening. I am feeling really sketchy about the section test.

So, I got another email last yesterday afternoon. Sean is dead set Cade took his money. In fact he was trying to make a case that Cade was in the habit of stealing and that Sean "felt bad this was happening" and would "follow up" on however I dealt with it. Well, damn right? Don't you like how he wants me to deal with the bad stuff? I sat down with Cade and this time didn't sugar coat anything. I should have seen this earlier but with not having to deal with Sean's behaviors daily you forget the signs to look for. I forgot that when Sean borrows money and can't replace it he blames other people for either taking it or that he is only owed some money and as soon as he gets it he will pay it back. If he is going after Cade he probably owes the money to his wife. Anyway, I have found when dealing with the bipolar behaviors as hard as it is in the beginning dealing with it being honest and blunt works best. I told Cade what was going on (without my suppositions of what really happened to the money) and we wrote out a timeline of events for the weekend of Cade's every move. We accounted for every last dime. Where he spent it, what he had for money, and who was with him. I grilled the poor kid and did my due diligence and played devil's advocate. It was rather revealing. He did admit he did lie to his dad about where he found the money he used the weekend. When he explained to me the circumstances I understood why but his dad won't. Have you ever been in a situation when you were surprised then scared and then put on the spot? Your mind goes blank and even though you know the answer you just blurt out the first thing on the tip of your tongue? That's what he did. (heck, that's what I did in class yesterday) His dad saw his money on his side table and demanded to know where it came from and scared the crap out of him. Since Sean lives in his own delusional world that he has a great relationship with Cade and that he has no temper issues at all he would never understand how Cade felt. I tried to impress upon Cade to just be honest even if he feels a little scared because it will save him a whole lot of grief later. If he feels he is in danger of getting hit however to just do what he has to and we will deal with the fall out later.

Sean said Cade flat out refused to change his clothes there and he felt that had something to do with Cade and stealing. I guess he thinks Cade is hiding money in some secret pocket in his sleeves or something. Cade revealed he doesn't change for two reasons, one he only has one pair of pants there beside the ones he is wearing when he gets there and they are too big around the waist and slip off. He sleeps in his shirt because even though he has pj bottoms he doesn't have any tops and his long sleeved shirt is warmer. Sean lets him borrow Sean's own tee shirts but Cade refuses since again he gets cold. I asked him if he had shirts there and he said he did but he was too lazy to change since he was already cozy in what he is wearing. I admonished him about his laziness and not to mention it's dirty.

So, I responded to Sean and sent him the detailed outline and Cades responses to Sean's (trumped up) issues. I told him again I didn't feel Cade took his money and I was not going to punish him for something Sean couldn't prove especially since Cade has made a statement and had verification from other sources (people he was with) to back him up. I also told him if Sean still felt Cade was lying to me then I wanted to answer his assertion that Cade was in the habit of lying to hide his stealing. Sean asked if Will, Connor or I had been missing money lately. I told him we weren't and I even asked at the school and his friends parents and no one was missing anything. If this was indeed a habit then it would be going on here as well as there. It isn't about if I believe Cade or not but what I can prove and verify and what I have seen in his behavior. There hasn't been any extra stuff like food or toys/trinkets he would have bought with the money. No clothes or games or bribes to his brothers. No evidence of spoils. I then told him as far as I was concerned this issue was over and I wasn't going to discuss this again. We'll see. I don't want to get sucked in to his drama. I just don't want Cade to be the scapegoat for Sean's irresponsibility with money. If he owes someone then deal with it and do not blame Cade for it.

I am sure Cade behaves differently there than here. I am well aware he is argumentative there. I know he does not respect either of the adults there. I know he will not do anything she tells him to. I know he can be disrespectful and rude there. I don't think for a second he is an angel by any means. I know he does things there he knows full well he wouldn't get away with here. What I try to do on my end is impress upon him to be the person he knows he should be no matter where he is or who he's with. If he has issues with people then tell them and don't act out in place of using his words. I also know with his age and his circumstances this is very hard to do.

Well, this was long enough. I needed to vent obviously..lol.