Our Island Family Life

I found out today Connor plans on getting his driver's license in the spring. He will be 16. Before Sean left we had decided, since Will was going to be 15 that year and old enough to get his permit, that the kids would need to pa for their driver ed classes themselves. We felt that by having, maintaining a job and saving the money needed to pay for the class would show a certain level of responsibility they would need to have in order to be driving. Also, if driving was important to them it would be another incentive to earn money themselves. After Sean left all rules we made for the kids together flew out the window and he does whatever his wife tells him. Connor has no job or has any plans on working. They plan on paying for his classes as well and helping him get his own car. They give him allowance for doing chores he should be doing regardless. He never lifted a finger here and even though he still isn't doing chores is still getting paid. They have bought him all kinds of things including new clothes and a skateboard. Does he have the phone I wanted him to have? No. Made his therapy appointment? No. I could go on and on. Also, Sofie comes home acting like a brat and it takes me several days to get her totally back on track. Today for example I picked her up as I was talking to a neighbor and she thought it would be funny to spit in my face and pull my hair. I was shocked. She never has acted like that before. I knew she was testing me. I had to excuse myself from my conversation and deal with her. Cade said he wanted to talk in his next session about how Kathryn has been telling her daughter how it's ok to hit others and how very different this is from what I have always taught him. I know he feels caught between rules. He has been taught in school as well about not hitting and is worried about his sister learning about how it is ok to hit. I will have to talk with the teacher tomorrow and see how she behaves in school this week. I just don't know what to do. I am rereading the book Kids First handed out to deal with issues like this and I am thinking about going back. I am leaning to just letting go. I feel bad about the kind of person Connor will turn out to be. He will not be able to take care of himself. I feel so tired.

The picture today was taken by Will from our deck with his new camera of an incoming storm.