Our Island Family Life

Everything went as bad as could be expected and then some on Tuesday. I forgot to bring my anti-anxiety meds and just did some deep breathing while I waited at Connor's counselor's office waiting for him to show up. I sat there wondering about this supposed session Sean had scheduled for us also for 10 am and just couldn't understand how he thought it would be ok for us to have a session at the same time all the way across town to leave Connor here by himself. One of at least should be there to talk to the counselor either before or after and voice our concerns and talk about scheduling the next session. While I pondered that, time came and went for the appointment time and I began to think they may not show up. It was almost 15 minutes after when Sean came in alone and asked me what I was doing there. That rather confused me and I said I was here for Connor's appointment. He asked me if I was going to go to "our" session and I said I didn't see how it was going to be possible to be at two places at once. I had scheduled this appointment over a week ago and only knew about this other one he was talking about last night. I couldn't even call the office to confirm if the appointment was really for us like he was claiming or if it was just for him like last time. He got angry and asked me if I got his email. I told him I hadn't gotten anything the last time I checked which was at 9pm Monday night and I had to catch the 6am ferry that morning and never had a chance to check. He told me, "Isn't that nice." I ignored that and asked why. He said Connor didn't want me there. I was surprised and asked why. Sean told me Connor wanted to have a session to himself. I said that was fine. He usually does anyway. I had a few things I wanted talk over with his counselor so he knew what concerns I had and then we could go over when to have the next session. This wasn't any different then how we had done things in the past or with Cade. Sean told me if I was there then it wasn't happening. I just sat there stunned. He said Connor didn't want me there just to further my own agenda. I didn't even ask what the hell that meant because I darn well knew Connor never said that. He would never use that phrase. Agenda? Then he went on to tell me how "our" session was scheduled first. I asked him if that was so then why did he only tell me about it yesterday. Why didn't he let me know when I emailed him over a week ago about Connor's session. I could have rescheduled it or if I had known Connor didn't want me there I could have not bothered to show up and I could have called the counselor myself with my concerns and not have wasted a trip to town, loss of pay and the cost of a babysitter. If I had known ahead of time about this supposed appointment I could have called the counselor and double checked myself if this was really co-parenting or if this was for him and/or his family. He told me whoever I spoke to before didn't know what they were talking about and he was telling me it was co-parenting. I told him I knew what he was referred for. If this was co-parenting then when he went into his intake session he didn't ask for what he was referred for. If that was the case, if all he asked for was co-parenting then I darn well should have been there after all last time. How can he expect me to believe him when he tells me one thing and the office tells me another? On top of that, they never even called me to give me the "reminder" call they always give me. If there was something scheduled for me personally then I should have gotten a call which I didn't. He was even angrier with me and went on to tell me how I always make it seem like he is the one not interested in therapy yet I was the one not coming. I told him I had everything set up months ago and he refused to come. He said I knew why he didn't come and I said I knew what his excuse was and I didn't believe it for a second. The he went on to say how I only have this narrow window, he even used his fingers to show me how small it was, to come and how I am making it hard and how he was making himself more available. I had enough. I told him he knew why I came to town once a week and this went all the way back to our previous sessions when he didn't always show up. I couldn't be coming to town three days a week and miss out on work, which is busiest for me in the summer, and pay sitter costs just on the off chance this is a legitimate session. That is why if I knew when he made the appointment I could have verified it myself. On top of that I still was making myself available any time after Cade's sessions and would fit my own stuff around whatever time was best for him. He just kept repeating himself how he was telling me this is what it was and that should be the end of it. I reminded him the last session he told me was for us wasn't, so why should I believe him this time? Then he tried to upset me. He said the judge wouldn't be happy with me if I didn't come. I just told him the judge will be just as unhappy with him for not coming last July. He changed tactics and said how he was more committed than me because he was making himself more available. I told him he was more available because he didn't have a job. Maybe he should get one and pay all his child support so I wouldn't have to work 12 hour days. Then I also could also be more available. He threw his hands up in the air and walked out.