Our Island Family Life

I had wanted to add something about the ferry ride home with Connor yesterday. He talked the whole time and it was a good conversation. It's odd to hear some of the things he says and yet know the lengths he will go to forgive his dad. He had said to me his dad was really broke. I raised a skeptical eye I am sure and he told me the only money he has is what his wife gives him. I couldn't help it and I laughed. I am sure I was a bit too honest but I explained to him I knew his dad had more money than us (did not say how much) because I had the paperwork to prove it and that I was sure dad was feeling bitter if Kathryn is the one holding the purse strings in that family because dad was the one who demanded that he handle the bills here at home. I told him money issues can cause a lot of strife in a marriage. I had no doubt that their private issues was the motivating factor in his dad bring this court case and that more than likely Kathryn was the one pushing it. Sean is too passive with things like that but now that he is committed to the case he will drive it hard. Connor knows as well as I do that his father and the new wife live well beyond their means and Connor admitted he knew his dad was irresponsible with money. That says a LOT coming from him because Connor is too. I explained Kathryn might be upset that dad is supposed to pay half of his income towards the care of him and his siblings when I am sure she wishes dad was providing more for the family there. However, she knew when she got involved with his dad he had a wife and four children and they may have been able to get rid of me but they can never rid his father of his responsibility to the kids. Some men (and women) try but that is when the state steps in. He asked how the state can do that and I reminded him of his class he took in school concerning sex ed and health. He remembered DHHS and said he thought that was only needed if the parent didn't pay. I nodded. He asked if DHHS was involved with us. I nodded but told him I wasn't going to explain anything else about that. He said ok. He was quiet a while then said the one thing he can't stand more than anything else is a cheater. I was taken off guard and asked him what he meant and he said if any girl ever cheated on him he would dump them. I smiled and told him that was a good plan but that sometimes it feels more complicated. If I had done that then Connor would have never been born. He kind of laughed and thanked me for having him. We talked about his aunts and uncles a bit and rehashed some history there and he knows that cheating seems to be a bit of a family trait. I hope it skips his generation. He told me when he gets a job and makes enough money he will buy me a house because I work too hard. I had to try and not cry. I joked and told him it had to come with a jacuzzi tub. It's frustrating to see him worry for me so much and then come home and not lift a finger to help unless I ask and then he grumbles the whole time. He went back to the topic of his dad and said he thought any person (male of female) who tried to go with a person who is already in a relationship (married or not) is nothing more than a "you know what". I sighed. What was I going to say? Oh you mean like Kathryn or your dad or both? He then said how his dad did everything wrong that he could have done with the whole mess. I agreed. Then he shrugged and said, "What's done is done I guess." I thought for a minute and said that was true and it isn't worth being bitter over but the least his dad could do was say he was sorry to him for hurting him so much during the whole thing and do his utmost best to make it up to him. Not spoil him or anything but not steal anymore or lie or cheat or make excuses. Just be a real honest to goodness dad he at least tried his hardest to be many years ago. The hard part now is not resenting his dad for not even bothering to try apologize or treat them with respect. Trust had to be rebuilt once it's lost and Connor admitted he didn't trust his dad. He didn't even really respect him. He just feels like they have similar interests, more so than with me or his brothers and likes talking about that stuff. I nodded since if it's only about music and maybe movies then yeah he's right. Then Connor reminded me about the time his dad got angry and threw him up against a glass framed door. Connor was really scared that time. I wasn't home at the time. I know his mind is working and even though he has the idea of, well, that's in the past I think he really should have someone talk to him (not me since I am the poisoned apple) about what abusive relationships are like.