Our Island Family Life

I had the therapy session with Connor and Sean yesterday, sorta. It was a nightmare. Connor went in first alone and Sean and I were in the waiting room two seats apart. It was 8am so we were the only ones there. The staff was hidden away across the room out of sight and most likely hearing. This is the first time I have been "alone" with Sean since he tried to punch me in the car in 2007. All other times we have been either in public with many people around or in a therapy session. He asked me if I got his email reply to the one I sent him clarifying the insurance issue surrounding the co-parenting therapist. I hadn't so he told me what he said. Even with being reimbursed he didn't have the $45 upfront to pay so he wasn't going and I needed to find someone else. (me not him) All I could do was blink. I had taken my two anxiety pills before we got there so I was feeling ok and calm so I wasn't snapping or getting angry. I told him I was a little confused as to the problem since we signed a paper in mediation to split the cost and I didn't have $45 to spare either but we both just had to find a way to make it happen. He said no. He then was snide and siad he didn't know how much money I had. I told him he did since I turned over my taxes to him and gave him my child support affidavit. Just as I had some idea of his income since I had his (not his taxes though) and I knew he made more money than me. He said I didn't know anything and he didn't either. I told him it was not guess work but facts in black in white in court records so yes I did. I reminded him the kids and I were on food stamps and the state medical plan. Then he said even if we do find someone who takes his insurance I needed to pay all of the co-pay. I was confused and asked him why, since again, we agreed to split the cost. He said he was paying the insurance so if we had a $100 therapy bill he was the one paying for most of it so I should pay the co-pay and he would NEVER pay any part of any co-pay. He was getting agitated by this point. I told him I understood he was upset at having to pay the kids medical insurance but this was what was ordered by the court set by the guidelines of his income and I wasn't sure how his paying for insurance pertained to us sharing the co-pay costs we signed in mediation. He flipped out. He was whispering because he KNEW someone was around but he was verbally abusive and nasty to me. He said I was being confrontational and just saying that was unnecessary and just shows how I can never work with him. (Among other things) I told him I was just confused about the legality of what he was saying and to be fair I should ask the lawyer what the correct thing to do was. He then went on to say how I should go ahead and ask him so then me and my lawyer could twist everything around to make it seem like he wasn't committed to counseling and how we called him names before in court and was sure to do it again. Like any judge would allow name calling in court? I had no clue what he was talking about. He said a few other choice words, was sarcastic and mean. I just sighed and told him it was obvious he wasn't going to see the guy that was recommended and that I was seeing someone next week and would ask her since she knew the boys and the situation and might have a good idea. I also told him I got a name from the office of Dr. ******. He said "Who?" I looked at him for a second and said, "You're psychiatrist?" He looked and me blankly and then looked at a magazine. I went on to say I would ask them and get back to him. He ignored me. Then we went in to see Connor's counselor without Connor. I didn't think that was a great idea. So, the guy said Connor told him he wants to live with his dad and we need to make this a smooth process yada yada. I was near tears because of the whole thing I just went through in the waiting room and I didn't feel safe to tell the counselor Connor has no CLUE what the difference in primary and shared residency means. Connor just wants to come and go as he pleases and thinks that the only thing that will change his him saying he lives with his dad. I called the guy back later and told him we needed another session with the three of us and him together so Connor would have to say what he wants clearly to everyone and not say one thing to each person, understands exactly what the changes will be and set some kind of schedule. He needs to understand he won't be coming and going and if he gets pissed and me he can't just run off to dad's or vice versa.