Our Island Family Life

I am really really mad at the moment. I am trying not to over react and send Sean a scathing email right now. It has been a while since I got an email from him that really pissed me off. Bothered me a bit sure. Made me sad, of course, but spitting mad? No. I was shocked of course to even get an email from him about what happened last weekend. He mentioned Halloween and that "they" didn't give Sofie too much candy and that most of Sofie's candy was there because I probably had more than I knew what to do with. *snort* Then he went on to "explain" an incident that occurred and he wanted to explain it in case Sofie mentioned it to me. Right away I thought..oh and if he thought she wouldn't then he would have said nothing right? Apparently the girl put Sofie in a time out and Sean caught her and took Sofie out of it right away(who knows how long Sofie was in it) and explained to the girl she in no way had the authority to do that to Sofie and that he thinks she understands that now. I am thinking that if he felt the need to explain it then it is way worse than he is making it out to be. Still, I doubt he sees that this girl thinks she can order Sofie about and her doing the time out is way better than what she was doing which was punching Sofie and biting her which Sean still says the girl doesn't do to Sofie. The girl bit Sofie the weekend before last and teeth marks don't lie. I was already in a rather bad mood concerning Sean the past few days. I dunno, just old stuff and feeling old hurts. My problem. Not his. Even if he was the one who caused the hurts to begin with. This morning I spent a long time getting Sofie cleaned up after her weekend. I usually don't mess with her the first day back because I don't want her thinking that coming home means pain. Besides she spends most of her time sleeping. She slept for 5 hours at nap time. Also, I had to give her some tylenol because of a wound on her leg. I saw it Sunday and it was bloody and she had been scratching it. I was a bit taken aback. She said it was a bug bite but it wasn't. It looked like she had been poked with a stick or something. I cleaned it and it was all red around the edges and a little swollen. I knew it was the beginning of an infection. I dressed it and had one of the EMT's here look at it. I was doing the right thing and gave her some medicine and she seemed ok enough. I just have to keep an eye on it. She slept, got up and had dinner then wanted me to watch a movie in bed. She was just sluggish. Today she woke up early and ate a good breakfast and took a long shower. Her hair was a mess again. I redressed her leg, which is looking much better. The area around one of her shots she got on Friday is a little red. Her skin rash she gets from time to time was back and she had a rash on her bottom again. These things don't happen when she is home. I was just not a happy camper to see this and even though I don't mind taking care of her needs I shouldn't have to and I can only hope she wasn't too uncomfortable. Her fingernails were black. I trimmed them and still had to dig out dirt. These things take a long time and that is why I wait a day for her to recover before I do them. Otherwise she just gets upset and cries and whines. She was fine with me doing everything today. I feel a little bad I don't clean her up right away but I do major things first and then let her relax first. So after all that was done I get this email. I just wanted to have a cup of tea and have some toast. Did Sean mention her leg? No. Her rashes? No. Should I feel impressed he told me about the incident? I don't feel that way because he still isn't seeing the bigger picture. You know though? That isn't what made me mad. This was just more of the same and I can handle that now with maybe a nasty expression on my face but I don't get so mad I want to scream. The next few lines made me furious. It was all about Connor. How Sean got a copy of Connor's school reports and how it looked like he was missing stuff. How he needs to go to his support blocks. He wanted to know if Connor had unexcused absences? How he missed a lot of school and was in danger. That he went online and checked the powerschool info and he was concerned about Connor's missing stuff. How Connor could come to his house for the weekend and that Connor had expressed he wanted to come over and they could do some math. The last time Connor was there they didn't do any because Connor forgot to bring it. That I knew wasn't true because I packed it myself and Connor complained about it not getting done. I wanted to scream. You jackass. He hasn't done ANYTHING concerning Connor's education except for one conference since he left. That was in 2007. Connor refused to even see his dad for that because we had already had conferences that Sean didn't bother to go to. Sean just decided to go to the school and demanded to be seen. Yes, Connor is missing stuff. He is still making up work from when he was absent. All of Connor's absences are excused except for the ones where the school messed up his schedule and that happened to Will as well. In fact most of the school had that problem. He is not in any danger at all. His worst class is science not math and Sean didn't offer to help in that. Connor does stay for the after school blocks already as well as the in school study block. Connor is also aware if he doesn't pass all his classes he loses his xbox for the whole next semester. He will do anything to prevent that. I should be pleased Sean is showing an interest I suppose. It's just that I feel you can't just show an interest when you think things are going wrong. It is an everyday thing. You can't just step in and order people around and take over because things aren't the way you think that should be. Where is he for the everyday stuff? To ask if the homework is done? Making calls to the teachers? Where is he then? Also, why just Connor? Sean doesn't care how Cade is doing or Will. He hasn't said anything about Sofie maybe being able to start preschool this spring. You can't just pick and choose which kid to harass. I am trying to calm down before I answer him. In fact I may just ignore him completely. I am leaning towards that because I am thinking answering him is giving him what he realy wants. That isn't info on the kids but power over me and my emotions. Connor never said to me he wanted to see his dad next weekend at all. In FACT he told me just this morning that he was going to work for a guy on the island this weekend to earn some money for a new game he wants. He saw Sean on Sunday on the boat. Connor had gone into town for a few hours and they rode the same boat back. On that ride Sean told Connor he would help him pay for a new hard drive for his xbox. Connor had earned enough money to pay for half of it. Connor knows this is hot air and that's why he has a job lined up the the weekend. How do I talk rationally with someone who is so full of it? It isn't real concern for his kids but a need for control. Control of me. Control of the kids. I checked my bank account yesterday and I saw DHHS had taken more money from Sean. Nearly $350. I was thrilled. I am sure he is pissed about it so now here is the concern for school? He doesn't have the control over the money like he used to so now he will find another way to torture us. I really wish I could change the divorce to where he could have no say in the kids stuff. He doesn't try to work on things. He ignores then makes demands. If I try to do anything he holds the divorce over my head saying he can say no to anything and he will sue. Control again. It's should be about a father having some rights but instead it's used as a tool to abuse. There is no other word for it but abuse. I am so thrilled I have so many more years to be abused by him. Good thing I am not already depressed.