Our Island Family Life

I was finally able to get Cade in to see a counselor next week. There are some pros and cons. I wasn't thrilled it took me three days to get a hold of anyone there. I was on hold forever and every time it was over ten minutes I left a message. I left a lot of messages. On the plus side he doesn't have to wait weeks for an open slot. So, that evened out for me. Another con was that his regular counselor is leaving for the summer. Even if Cade was still seeing him regularly Cade would have been shifted to a new person. Cade is going to see a lady named Rose on Monday. I asked him if he was ok with that and he was sad to not see his old guy but he was still enthusiastic to go. When your ten year old is looking forward to therapy you know things aren't good. He remembers the lady his dad I was were seeing and is kind of curious what it will be like to talk to a woman. I think he will be fine. This coming weekend is a dad weekend but Cade is still not wanting to go. He also is refusing to call again. I understand how he feels since the last call went so very bad. I hope I can get him to send an email instead. That way they are still communicating and everything will be documented. I have brought emailing up to Cade and told him how keep the doors open to talk is a good thing but if he was feeling scared about seeing his dad alone or over there and calling, there is always letters, email, talking face to face in a public setting and in therapy. So we got the therapy route on track now and I think he will write and email tonight. I feel better knowing he has an appointment on Monday. As for this weekend, even if he was seeing his dad without any issues he would have been staying home since we have company coming he hasn't seen in months. I want to make sure I do everything in my power to support Cade in seeing his dad. Therapy, encouraging him to communicate and being open and honest. What I can't do is force him to go if he is scared and do the talking for him/them. I also can't make Sean apologize or give Cade what he wants from his dad. It's a crossroads I guess.

I survived the test. It was brutal. I did well on the multiple choice but the essay and fill in the blanks? Crap shoot. I passed I am sure but ...*sigh* Now, we have three chapters to read by Thursday and a completed workbook for homework grade. It will be mostly practical from here on in. I am not very confident in that yet.

Sofie loves to dress up and yesterday was no exception. Velvet dress and flowered head band she was excited for the school field trip. Cade was too but was still feeling tired from coughing. I brought medicine with us so he would be ok for the whole day. Sofie's dress choice was also good for her rash, keeping it covered from the sun. It wasn't hot yesterday except in the auditorium so she took her top coat off there. Even with the extra protection the rash got worse on her face, hands and arms again. I used her prescription cream on her arms and it helped immensely. Steroids. Wonderful. I hate to use it but it was much worse than the pics from yesterday. I want to scream at Sean for being so clueless. He never emailed me last night about it like I asked. Just before we went out the door to catch the water taxi he sent a one line email. No hellos or anything. I honestly doubt he even noticed her rash. He said he "thinks" it might be a "heat thing" and that it was only on her "hands most of the weekend". I can tell you it wasn't there Friday at 6pm. How he didn't see it on her exposed arms and face on Sunday is inexplicable. I'm on my own. Asking him was useless. She can thank him for the nice birthday present while she scratches away.

48 hours. That's all it took for Sofie to come home filthy and covered in a rash. I emailed to see if this was heat induced or contact we'll see if Sean responds. I wish the pics were clearer. It doesn't seem as bad with these pics. She's getting scrubbed in a few minutes.

So the other day, Friday, I was at the doctor's office with Cade and Sofie and a new receptionist was there with the one we knew. The one we knew made a comment on how much Cade had grown and that he was almost as tall as his mom (that's me..:) ) The new lady was surprised I was his mom and said she thought I was only 2o. Heh..nice huh? There's more, on the way home on the ferry that afternoon. I was sitting with Cade, Will, the boy a babysit and his mom. The little guy was acting up with his mom and squirming and whining so I picked him up to take him the the back for some air and give him mom a break. We were stopping at an island and a couple was getting off and the man asked me if I was sitting with my brothers. HA! I was confused at first then figured out they meant Will and Cade. I told them no there were my boys and they were shocked and asked me how old I was. You could tell they were shocked or they wouldn't have asked. I told them I was 36 and the guy said he thought I was 18! Double HA!. Then he asked me if Aiden (I was holding him) was mine too. Thank God no. :) On Thursday at the firehouse the guys were making fun of my instructor since he is the youngest one there at 23 when the others are all over 40. I joked that yeah he was a baby. I got a glare from him but who cares. It was funny. Then he said to one of the guys while poking me with a piece of toast to guess how old I was. The guy looked at me and said, "Uh, about your age? 23? 24?" I told him how old I was and he laughed. Now my little baby comment made more sense. He said I had a baby face too. Nice huh? Is this going to be a problem for me if I start dating? *snicker*

Not a random pic. This is inside the new fire boat for the islands. I rode back on this on Thursday from my day riding the ambulance in town. It was my first time on the this fire boat and I have to say it is impressive. Decked out and larger than the older one (which is also used) that I rode on before. I rode the old one three times. Once when I was in labor with Sofie, after I had Sofie when I had pregnancy related kidney stones (never had them before or since) and with my dad after he had surgery and came to stay with me while he got better. Connor also rode on it once for a cut knee. He turned out to only need stitches thankfully. We had a doctor on island who said he should be checked at the hospital just in case he had damaged his patella.

I went on my ambulance ride on Thursday which is of course much earlier than my original date of May 16th. I will post about that experience later.

Again I am too angry to speak to my son. It's best not to until I can swallow the hurt and anger in order to speak to him calmly. Not to mention I have to think if I should speak to him at all and how.

I found a website the other day by chance and "she" was on it. It was a rating from her students about her teaching abilities. Thought I would share, to be fair there were six good ones. They said they thought she was cool. The negative comments far outnumbered the good ones these were just a few of the funniest.

I'm mad. I am a hair raised, nail extended, spitting cat mad.

Sometimes, sometimes I am well aware of my own selfishness that most likely does not fall into the realm of "think of the kids" first.

Next weekend is Sofie's birthday. I wish I could make a cake like this for her but my skill is not quite that good. I think I will try something special but I'm not sure what yet. Next weekend is a Sean one so I won't see her until 4pm. That should give me plenty of time to make something nice. I am not sure if Cade is going in not yet. We'll see.

I took my test that I missed last Thursday last night and got 100%. Of course the teacher said he expected more out me from now on. Like that's going to happen. Things are just getting harder and harder. The test before that I only got an 84% and that was after I pointed out I had gotten some things right that were marked wrong. Scary thing is it was one of the highest grades in the class for that test. It was killer. We all had talked about how we were doing and I am doing ok for participation. I did miss one class and most of another to be with Sofie but he was ok with it. My quiz average is 94%. Not bad. Thursday we have another huge section test, about 100 questions. Then the following week we get tested on 30 chapters of stuff. The dreaded midterm. 150 questions of knuckle gripping terror. Now we are sliding into more practical work. Hands on stuff which is where I am most scared of. I will need a LOT of practice. I told him I am sliding into being a visual/hands on learner and he said most adults are. What do you know? Maybe that's why I remember what I read so well?

I'm starving today for some reason. It's only 11am and I am eating a sandwich. I did only have a bowl of cereal for breakfast but I didn't eat much yesterday. I just wasn't hungry. My appetite has mood swings I guess...:)

Sofie in her cowgirl get up. She also has a pink sheriff star and a little pink and white plastic pistol. Is it politically correct? No, but she is so darn cute chasing her brothers with it. I took this on Easter. It was such a warm and nice day.

Day three of the fever saga. I called the doctor and if she still has a fever in the morning I can just bring her in. They think from what I have told them that Sofie has a nasty virus that when her fever spikes causes her joint pain in her ankles and knees. Wonderful. Sofie was able to eat and drink today without throwing up which is good but the fever is just hanging on. So I was trying to think of a way to again balance every ones needs for tomorrow. No work obviously. Cade has school until 11am then they are supposed to have swim class then go to see Sean. Cade still doesn't want to go and was going to write his dad an email today telling him until he got an apology he wasn't willing to visit. I had to figure out how was I going to get Cade to swim if at all if Sofie was at the doctor and...my brain started to fry. A lot of the problems were solved when I got an email from Sean telling me he "couldn't" take the kids this weekend, maybe next weekend. Well, Cade was relieved. Next weekend is their normal time here at home so Sean is flat out of luck for two more weekends. It will be five weekends in a row the kids will be home with me. I am beginning to wonder if Sean is weaning them out of his life. I am going to bed now. Sofie was up quite a few times last night which meant, so was I...:)

Yesterday was a super busy day. As I was waking up yesterday I heard Sofie moaning. That usually means her knees or ankles are hurting. It is mostly a night time thing and I still consider it night time if the sun isn't up yet. I asked her if she was feeling ok since we had to get ready to take the 6am boat into town for groceries. She said her tummy hurt then she jumped up and ran to the bathroom to throw up. She didn't the first time but did the second time. I checked her temp and it was 99.8. So, no town for her. I HAD to go. We had nothing left and no medicine for her. I gave her the second to last dose and there was one more left. What to do? I finally asked Connor to stay with her since no one else was available. I hate it when I have to do that but what can you do? I went shopping and called home after I got to town and she was sleeping in just her undies and hadn't thrown up again. Good. I got three shopping carts full of food but by the time I was done checking out it was 10 minutes to boat time. I wasn't going to make it. I had to wait 4 hours and 45 minutes until the next one. I went to another grocery store and got another banana box full of food, then went to the dollar store to look for birthday gifts for Sofie. I filled another box with stuff from there and stuff I cleaned out of my van. I had the time so I cleaned it. The goodwill store that I would go to in the same plaza was gone. Not closed...gone. Sign and all. I know where there are two others but that was my favorite and most convenient one to go to. I had class that night and so I stopped at a restaurant to study quietly and have a snack. All I had that day was a glass of milk and I needed to eat something. I called home again and Sofie had a fever of 102. I was very upset. I asked Connor if he had given her the medicine when I had told him to he said no. I wanted to strangle him over the phone. I had him give it to her and cool her off with a cool damp cloth. I told him when she napped again to make sure the downstairs freezer was cleaned and plugged in for food. I needed to plug it into a different outlet with an extension cord because I am still without power in parts of the basement and my room. I got home with the 19 boxes full of food at 4pm and got to work unloading. My class was at 6pm and I had blisters on my pinky toes from my sneakers. I haven't worn them since last summer. Sofie was sleeping again and did Connor fix the freezer? Of course not. Will wasn't home and wouldn't be until the 7pm boat so Cade helped, Connor did what he should have hours ago and I tried to get everything put away. Sofie woke up around 5:15pm. We had been unloading and putting away for 45 minutes by then. She was in good spirits but didn't want to leave bed. Her fever was down to 99 and I gave her another dose. I decided to just go and take my test and come home. I had been away from her long enough. By the time I left at 5:45 there was still food to put away. I left it to the boys and told them to do the dishes as well. When I got home the food was away but dishes never got done. I am still mad about that. During the night her fever came back to 101 and she threw up two more times. I am wiped today. I called to not babysit today. No need for Aiden to get sick too. We'll see about tomorrow. I have another class and another test tomorrow as well. I know I got at least one wrong, two I think and who knows after that. I will try and study today. Again, we'll see. The house it a mess too. Sofie has napped twice today already and the fever keeps going up and down. I am glad I have everything she needs here. She isn't dehydrated yet so I hope I can prevent that. Now that we have all this food I am too tired to make anything...*heh* It's a half day today for school. Cade will be home in a few minutes.

Connor came home yesterday and told me he also had forgotten about Easter being this Sunday. We laughed about it and I told him how I had found out. Then he saw the note from the "Easter bunny" saying there were 16 well hidden eggs just for him. He laughed and Sofie said, "There's one in the toilet!" He didn't even question her and checked and found the egg inside the tank. He needed a lot of help but got them all in the end.

I think I pulled it off. If anyone was following my tweets yesterday then you already know I totally forgot it was going to be Easter today. I was so dead set in my mind it was NEXT weekend I just spaced it. I was IM with Will yesterday (he was in town at a friends house) and I told him I wanted to go shopping today and he asked me if the stores would be open because it was going to be Easter. I told him it was next weekend and he sent me a link (I don't have a calendar at home) and I totally freaked. I had nothing prepared. I had thought I was ahead of the game and had planned on getting my candy and stuff today and I had already ordered a movie since "the bunny" brings a disney movie every year. I had plans on hitting goodwill and the dollar store for little do dads to fill the basket out. Well, so much for that idea. We have no food again and I checked all the stores online and by phone, all closed so I am home today. No Easter dinner here. I did have a friend who brought me milk and eggs yesterday I had asked for since they were in town. Thankfully she had bought white eggs so we dyed half of them last night. I asked Will since he was in town already to try and grab some chocolate bunnies and jellybeans which he did. I went upstairs in the crawlspace and dug out the Easter box and around 10pm Will and I hid eggs. I had a bunch or plastic ones so we used those. Connor had asked to visit with his aunts and grandparents so I said not realizing until after he left on the boat it was going to be Easter. I bet he knew the toad. Anyway, I had some leftover things i the Easter box I used and the basket looked ok. In one egg I left a note saying due to technical difficulties the basket was not able to be fully completed at this time. When the rest of the items were available a single eggs would be left on the table and the hunt to the missing basket items could commence. Cade thought that was hilarious and is looking forward to further hunting this week. Last night the kids like the color of the dyes so much they decided to use it in their hair. It was kind of green looking but now Sofie had two pink streaks, Will had pink ends and Cade is all pink. Just like their eggs. It was pretty cute. Sofie said, "I am being very patient!" as she waited for her hair to color. After they were all done hunting they decided to take some plastic eggs and candy and hide some for Connor. They made it real hard since he is older. They had fun with it too. Cade said the Easter bunny must have a blast hiding all the eggs. They even put one in a ziplock bag and put it in the back of the toilet. I hope Connor enjoys himself. I had a few old carrots left and we left them out for "the bunny". The kids had fun and are happy with their hair and haul so I guess I managed to make it work. As for church the island one is closed for the winter and I hadn't gotten my act together to go in town so we are staying home this year. I feel kind of bad about it but there isn't anything I can do about it now. As for "Easter dinner" we are baking homemade bread and made egg salad out of the dyed eggs. It was fun to make and I am sure will be more fun to eat. Now if only the bread was done already! Thank goodness I made a big breakfast of pancakes and bacon to tide us over...:)