Our Island Family Life

I passed my final with a 96. I was stunned. I thought I passed but not that well. My overall class grade was a 93 so I passed my EMT class. I am very happy I did it. Now we are allowed to take our practical tests. All hands on stuff. I am very concerned about that because I don't have as much practice as the rest of the class because I missed quite a few classes when Sofie was sick and of course last Thursday when I got the call from the sheriff. The classes I missed when I was sick were not practical classes. Yesterday from 9am until 3pm we did practical stations. All set up like the real test which is on Tuesday. I did WAY better than I thought I would. I wasn't very stressed because I expected to fail pretty much everything because we have to do everything from memory and some of the things I had never done before or even SEEN. This was all practice and we weren't graded or anything. We had copies of the sheets the testers were going to use and they marked stuff off as we did them. There were several things we could miss and still be ok on points but there were some critical fails and if we missed them then we were done. Learned I had to speak up more. I learned two new stations. One of them I even passed blind. The other one I failed but I only missed one thing so I felt great. Overall it was a great practice day and for the first time I feel like I may really be able to do this. Some of us students on the island are meeting up today around 1pm to practice things we feel uncomfortable with. I think that will be good. Will said he would come down and be our patient. He has no idea...lol.

That out of the way here's the update on the stuff that is going to make me a basket case. On Friday I was able to get an appointment with my doctor. I told her what was going on and she refilled my prescription for anxiety pills. I got some the first time when Sean left. I had that bottle and never refilled it. That was in 2007. I think I have done quite well keeping myself together overall. I darn well know I will need something the day I go to court and while I am getting my ducks in a row to prepare. I also called Cade's therapist and told her too. She was shocked. She hadn't contacted Sean about Cade being there yet because she wanted Cade to feel comfortable with her first. She knew we had shared rights and because Sean hadn't objected to Cade seeing the other person he was at the same place she went ahead with treatment. She had asked Cade if he wanted his dad there and he said no. Still in talking with her privately before hand I told her the main reason for his returning to therapy when he had only so recently stopped was because of how stressful his relationship with his dad had become and the goal of including Sean and resolving this whole stealing/apology issue. He has been going now since the middle of March. She said she would contact Sean and without letting him know as of yet she is aware of what's going on about Cade's return to therapy and the goals and Cade's progress. Although Cade is still in the dark about what's going on he knows I had to stay in town late on Friday about something with his dad and he can tell it was upsetting to me. I can only do so much to be calm. I was really upset and shocked on Thursday and even though I went upstairs and had all the kids downstairs so I could cry and make a few phone calls about my class and stuff they all knew I was hurting. I am more even keel now even though I feel my heart beating a mile a minute sometimes. I teared up a lot on Friday morning but thankfully the boys weren't here. I can tell Sofie bumped my arm or stubbed my toe or something and she isn't the wiser. Cade still had a rough day on Friday and teared up about other things. He talked with his teacher though and that helped. I got those calls made then we had to jump on the noon to make my doctor's appointment. I did that, went to the pharmacy, had lunch with Sofie and dropped her off with her dad. He said nothing to me. My friend met up with me and I got the papers from the sheriff. It was ok and he was very nice. I read the papers with my friend in her car. She was as shocked as me. He wants me to have the kids three weekends a month, school holidays and every other holiday. Cade and Sofie only. Cade would be allowed to decide where he wants to live once he reaches high school. Since the kids would be with him during school weeks Cade would be going to a different middle school than he is already enrolled, where his brothers went and where he already has visited, met the teachers and has friends. Sofie would never go to our island school where all her brothers went. As far as that goes I am still moving forward with her preschool and am giving her paperwork this coming week to the teacher so she can have her card filled out so she will be enrolled by the end of the week. He also wants to eliminate child support. He wants me to pay the first $1,500 of medical costs a year instead of the $200 I pay now. In his statement about why he wants the kids with him it was just a mass of twisted facts and outright lies. I am sickened by what he said and I was worried at first but as I am calming down to think about it I can answer a lot of it easily. Still, just even thinking of the possibility I could lose my kids scares the hell out of me. He referenced Connor A LOT. Connor said this and Connor said that. One thing he said was Connor told him when he was home schooled he didn't learn anything and I made him babysit Sofie while I worked. It still sticks in Sean's throat I the court allowed me to to that. He said despite my weak academics and training and without consulting him I did this. Some of this we went over in court before. I did tell him of Connor's desire to home school and Sean had no problems with me home schooling our kids while he worked in the past, before he left us. So, I don't think that will be an issue. As for not learning anything because he babysat. He did the babysitting during the summer. Not during the winter school year. I only work away from the house in the summer. I am all done by labor day and do daycare from home in the winter. That was one of the reasons why I consented to home school Connor in the first place. I did have him watch Sofie and Aiden one day a week so he could earn some spending money and I included it into his home school as home ec and life skills learning. He had to document or discuss with me what he had to do. Cooking a nutritious meal, child behavior, why naps are important, reading to toddlers for literacy, things like that. On that one day a week I did my shopping and took Cade to therapy. I also did any other things I needed to do in town so I was only gone one day a week and every other Friday afternoon to bring Cade and Sofie in to see their dad. There was another thing there where he said that I was the one teaching Sofie if call Kathryn a mean witch and he said Connor told him I was telling her to do that. Well, I have a witness to the first time she said that as well as the email I sent the same day she said that to me to Sean about my concern about it. We weren't even divorced yet and it was when Sofie began watching Snow White for the first time. Sofie had just turned two. I emailed him telling him what she said and that I wanted him to be aware of it and where I had thought she got the idea from and that I didn't want any one to have hurt feeling or be shocked if she said it. I told him he could resolve the issue as HE saw fit. After that I didn't say anything more about it. She still does it so I don't know what Sean has done to try and resolve it. He never brought it up when we were in therapy. I don't say anything to Sofie about it because I know if I make a big deal about it she will think it's funny and a game and then it will never stop. I figure if she says it there has to be some kind of reason behind it. Her thinking is still black and white and the people who treat her well are the heros/princesses and the people who treat he poorly are bad guys and witches. It's the simple thoughts of a child. I think if they want it to stop they should treat her better. Anyway, it's more stuff like that horrible stinky stuff. On Monday I will call my lawyer and make an appointment. At the very least he can look it over, let me know his current rates and offer some advice. I'll have $900 coming to me this month for the library and I can use that. I had been hoping to pay another month of rent off with it. *sigh* There is also a free legal advice day at the court house one day a week. I will have to go then. I am not sure which day. After I talk with my lawyer I will see about the free lawyers. The main problem with them is the wait time. I know it will most likely be at least a month before the court date. I still have to wait for the actual date to come in that mail. Oh, oh yeah....this was funny too, he said, "At 10 Cade still believes in Santa Claus etc. and I am extremely concerned that he will have a difficult adjustment to middle school." Give me a break. He said if Cade goes to the other middle school he would be surrounded by his family who could help him adjust. Most of his arguments are from Kathryn. I know it. Cade told me he once told her he believed in Santa and both her and he at the time 7 year old daughter made fun of him. Kathryn told him in a condescending way, "Come on Cade your old enough to know better." Are we really going to go to court over Santa Claus? lol

ok, gotta eat and do some chore before my study time.