Our Island Family Life

Speaking of Connor, Cade had his session yesterday and I had another chat with his counselor. I guess she has called Sean 4 times with no response and has decided not to call him back again and leave it up to him. If he doesn't get his way he drops off the face of the earth. I told her again how I face the same communication problems with him and I know that it would be in the kids best interest to have better communication with their father but she can see the problem I am facing. She said how in the conversations she has had with Sean how it seems as if Connor is now taking Sean's side in things. I wanted to scream. I told her how I didn't feel that there were sides in this and Sean is making it turn out this way. I explained to her how in Sean's complaint to the court his claims of Cade stealing and the negative atmosphere I am supposedly creating and the bashing of him that is going on and she was incredulous. She asked me how he was going to prove that. I told her I didn't know but I had pretty big fears Connor would be brought to court to back his dad up since most of the stuff Sean was saying Sean said he heard from Connor in the first place. Connor of course will say whatever he can to make what Connor wants to happen. Since Connor wants to live in town to be near his girlfriend and to live where he has no responsibilities than he will have no problem lying to do it. Cade doesn't tell her anything about me being negative etc. I told her Connor behavior is like his fathers in the sense that he will say what he thinks people want to hear. Such as in Cade's sessions Sean agreed to drop the whole money/stealing issue but in court with me it is a major point that he has to "negate this pattern of behavior". If this was such a huge issue then wouldn't it have been vital to discuss this in therapy? I know some kids think there are sides to divorce. One parent over another and all that stuff. ( I personally never felt that way) I have always told the kids there isn't a side to this and that as angry as they were with their dad at the time to be angry at the behavior not the person and tried to explain their dad's mental illness to give them compassion but not a free pass for his actions. Connor views all of that as me bashing his dad. When his brothers and sister are upset about their dad and vent or complain he thinks they shouldn't and them talking to me about it equals bashing sessions. He is one seriously messed up kid if I do say so myself. Love him but want to yank my hair out at the roots to get him to understand stuff. I left Cade's cell phone at home yesterday so I wasn't able to call Connor's counselor to set up another session. I was so mad at myself for forgetting it. I will try again today.

I better get ready for the library. I already got paid for the work so I better show up...:)