Our Island Family Life

I was mad again a few days ago. Since I am at the ropes edge as it is I find myself getting angry easier. My mood was shot for about half a day. I kept trying to take my mind off of the problem and it would work for a while then come back. The problem? Last weekend was my weekend with the kids. No problem there right? Well, since Sean missed last weekend he wanted Cade to come this past weekend. Cade was not inclined and said so. Then Sean told him the wife's parents would take him to Funtown and wouldn't he like that? I could have screamed. Cade then was put into the position of wondering if he should go or not since his dad seemed to want to see him. Then of course was the issue of Cade being upset his dad didn't show up the weekend before. He could go but then he would miss work the next day. Variables, variables. Finally after watching Cade hem and haw for two days and wondering if I could do this or do that and what if's I said no. I told him he couldn't go. This was our time and I wasn't going to give it up and there is a schedule for a reason and I am and have been doing my very best to stick to it. I was pissed that now I looked like a bad guy for saying no to a "fun" time even though Cade admitted (and was a reason he kept leaning toward not going in the first place) that the "grandparents" frequently made plans and promises to the kids to do something fun then just stayed home and he didn't want to give up stuff he had wanted to do on the "chance" it might happen. Cade seemed ok but who knows what the heck kids are thinking? I felt good on one hand for being tough and making a stand, I just kept thinking I was being a bad mom or something. Then comes this coming weekend. I have a friends coming on Friday and I had planned on meeting up with them when I bring the kids in and riding the boat home with them, I needed to meet up with them anyway to get the ferry tickets. We planned their arrival day based on the kids schedule. That way the kids see Sean and still have some time with them as well since they are going to leave on the 6am ferry on Wednesday. Sean emails me today asking AGAIN to change days. He is coming to the island with the wife and the other kids to go to a barbecue at another house out here. I recall him doing this last year on the same weekend his parents visited the kids and he never once tried to see them. Also, we didn't know he was coming and seeing her with Sean pushing the stroller almost made me panic. I really don't want him within 100 feet of my home. I glared at the woman whose house he was going to and she turned away from me clearly upset. Well, I saw her today at the library and she didn't say a word about this barbecue. I had to help her of course but I haven't spoken to her since last year and I am sure she knows why. Anyway, the event is Saturday. He wants the kids to come in Thursday and then he would leave them with me when they come in on Saturday. Like I really want to meet up with them? As a "loving" family? Right. Or, they could bring them to town with them on Saturday after the event and I would get them Tuesday. He would have them an extra day. Uh. No. I haven't responded but I will after I speak with my counselor. I can't afford to go to town Tuesday, Thursday AND Friday. Also, I will be almost dead on Thursday since that is my big clean day. I will be doing the nurse job in the morning then I have two places to clean that take me 4-5 hours each. They are..*cough*..pigs. Anywho, I will have to then walk home and attempt to eat something before going back out the nursing job. So, I can't even take the boat that day nor do I wish to rearrange things to accommodate him. Not to mention I have to switch my in town day next week from Tuesday to Thursday because of Connor's therapy session so I won't be there to get them on Tuesday. So I know it will be a pain for him but..oh well.