Our Island Family Life

One more thing...as if Connor wasn't stressing me enough. Anyone recall my ramblings about Connor giving me a last minute notice last weekend about seeing his dad and the fallout that followed? In the end he never went even though I said he could as long as he called his dad and I told him I needed to confirm the plans with his dad. Connor didn't want to do that so he didn't go.
After the debacle of last night, just before bed he tells me he has plans with his dad for Friday afternoon. I ask him what they are exactly. He said his dad was going to pick him up from school and that he was going to take the 5:45 ferry home. That would give them a little over three hours to hang out, have dinner, whatever. The only thing that annoyed me was that Connor said they made those plans Tuesday night. I am guessing over that stupid facebook thing. Connor says the only way he can ever get in contact with his dad with any certainty is by using it. Anyway, when Connor told me it was 8:30 Wednesday evening. I had sent Sean an email previously telling him I wanted any plans going on to be confirmed with each other. So I was feeling a bit disappointed in Connor for not telling me sooner but at least he did it. I was feeling nothing but ignored and angry with Sean for not saying anything to me. Not that I expected anything less than stellar parenting from him in the first place....:) Especially since Sean emailed me yesterday thanking me for letting him know Cade had overdue library books. So why didn't he mention it then? Still last night I was too tired to dwell. Since I had told Sean I would email him if Connor told me about plans unless I heard from Sean first I emailed him today. I hate myself for putting that clause in. I know it is the right thing. I know that is the responsible thing to do. It is a fair and reasonable thing to do. Still. I want to be a witch and say no deal unless Sean lets me know what the hell is going on. (deep cleansing breath) Anyway, I emailed him letting Sean know Connor told me about the plans. I told Sean what Connor said the plans were. I am proud of that. See in the past I would have just gone with one of them telling me they had plans and not gotten the nitty gritty info based on faith and trust. Those days are gone. I then copied and pasted the paragraph from the email I had sent before to Sean and told Sean exactly what the consequences were if I did not hear back from Sean confirming the plans by 8pm tonight. Connor would not be going. I pointed out Connor had done his part which was great. I was doing what I said I would do and contacting him. I also told him that since he had not replied to my previous email which had been sent almost a month ago that I went ahead with the rules and consequences outlined in that email and talked with Connor already about it and he was well aware of them and that Connor knew I had informed Sean of the rules and consequences even though I had not heard back from him. The email was two paragraphs plus the snippet from the previous email. I didn't elaborate. I simply did as I said I would, contacted Sean about the plan, informed him of what it was, asked for confirmation, and said what the results would be if I was not answered to by a set time. Several hours later this was the reply:

Yup, we did make these plans. I simply hadn't gotten around to letting you know. The plans actually were that he spends the night and returns on Saturday morning.

So, nonchalant of him, no? Short too. Still not saying in anyway what he thinks of the parenting issue at all. He just hadn't gotten around to it. When was he going to do it, after Connor was already in school on Friday?

I answered back that these were not the plans Connor told me and that I would talk to Connor about it when he got home and let Sean know later tonight. This is the kind of thing I wanted to avoid which is why I think this plan is important. If I hadn't asked what was going on and wanted to know the plan then I would be thinking Connor would be coming home on the 5:45 when he is really spending the night? What is the real plan and is Sean just "confused" again? I already know what Sean hears is usually what he wants and not what is really being said. That is really something we all have to watch out for. It's easier setting up plans with other kids moms than with Connor's own dad.

So, now I wait until Connor gets home and go from there. *sigh* What really eats me up is the fact Connor is only seeing his dad because Sean bribed him by telling Connor he would get him Halo for the xbox. Connor wants that bad enough to go through the trouble of see his dad. They are both using each other and I really hate that. I really don't believe Sean would see Connor at all except he thinks it will upset me and when things aren't going well for Sean he does things like this. Connor just wants stuff. I really hate this.

Oh yeah and about the library thing. I had emailed Sean about the books because I was the one who got the notice and if they weren't returned I would be the one getting the overdue fees and bills. I told him to take the kids to the branch library he got the books from and let them know to send all notices and bill to him as the responsible parent and I would take the kids to the main branch and do the same. If I got another notice I would contact the library myself and tell them where to send the bills. It isn't like I can go to his house and get the books myself can I? Cade can't even return the books either since he isn't there and would need a ride to the library anyway. I was really nice though and didn't mention he could have told me about Connor in that email...I REALLY wanted to. Restraint is my new middle name.