Our Island Family Life

Connor came to me this morning and told me that Sofie had told him that Kathryn was telling her she needed a haircut again. Sofie was worried and upset that Kathryn was going to cut it. I had thought the issue over but I guess she has been telling Sofie this on every visit and now Sofie is asking us if this is going to happen or not. Connor was shaking his head and wondering why Kathryn would even say such a thing to Sofie in the first place. Then Cade heard Connor and told him about what she had said to him on Saturday. Connor seemed a little tense and then wondered out loud what her problem was. He said, "What's it matter to her even if you did eat candy in the morning. I mean, I know you weren't but isn't that dad's problem? Dad used to do stuff like that all the time. If anyone was a "bad example" it was him. Besides, if it were me I would have eaten a piece right in front of her since she was being an idiot." This seemed to cheer Cade up a little. Usually Connor is in Cade's face telling him how if things are bad there it's because Cade is overreacting. Connor doesn't want to believe things there are that tense and bad. The few times he has visited she was nice to him and so his visit wasn't representative of the reality. They were trying to be on their best behavior to lure him in. Even so, he heard himself being bad mouthed just not to his face. That ticked him off. Since Cade and Sofie have been going to longest they don't hide it now. Even in the time Will was going it went from best behavior to outright hostility in six months. He had the ability to not go back. Connor is doing the same. Cade wants to but Sofie is a different story. I feel bad today because of her really. She doesn't call Sean dad. She calls him Sean. Today she asked if I was taking her to the mean witch's house and I said no. She said she wanted to see Sean. I told her she would soon. She is very confused about a lot of things. She tells her friends and other adults she doesn't have a daddy. She calls her own dad by his first name. She likes him but also thinks he is loud and scary. She likes some of the other dad's that live here much better. She likes hanging out with them when we have get togethers. I think she misses having a dad even thought she hasn't ever really had one since she was a year old. She sees other kids have dad's and is beginning to question her family. She can see the outright anger and ill feeling her brothers (who she adores) have for Sean and is finding it hard it understand. She is only now really beginning to find her voice and as such it is only a matter of time before the alienation begins with Sean. Since she hasn't been able to speak up for herself he still can delude himself about her feelings for him. I have tried to tell him about her confusion but was shot down so there isn't anything I can do to help her on that front. I feel bad about myself in that I couldn't provide her with the family her brothers had when they were her age. Things were supposed to be even better for her but instead it's all a shambles. I am really beginning to hate the holidays.