Our Island Family Life

Talked with Connor's crew teacher yesterday. She has run a lot of interference with all the other teachers and the social worker and we came up with a plan for Connor. Sadly, he has my perfectionist tendencies which although makes him turn in excellent work he hates to turn it in on time if it isn't up to his standards. That is a workable thing. I should also mention Connor is a slow person. This is a Sean trait and a trait of his paternal grandma. Not slow as in dumb but just in everything he does. Fast paced things are just not him. He moves at his own pace like a turtle and nothing makes him deviate from it. He gets everything accomplished but he has his own world speed. So, the faster pace of high school is something he has to learn to adjust to. Transition to. He isn't bothered in the least about it but he has to learn some compromises. We talked things over, Connor included and chose to drop his French course and give him an extra study hall for his work. He will be with his crew teacher who is also his English teacher and Connor thought it was a good idea too. He is happy with the plan. French is an elective and it won't count against him come credit time. He can take it up again if he wants or take a summer course if he chooses. He still has things to make up and he might be able to pick up a class in the third trimester. We'll see. There are a lot of factors to consider. Staying after school is not a option for him at this point. The long day (7pm home time) is just too much for him while it is dark out. He really has issues with sleep, depression and the dark. Having the extra time in school w/a teacher is a great solution. His incompletes are now passes, except for his science. He has conflicts w/that teacher so even though he has turned in all his work it comes down to if the teacher thinks he understands the concepts or not. If not he will have to take that again next year. He doesn't need four years of science though and they have more interesting courses to take. He loved chemistry so he is looking into that. He could also double up on science next year or even take a summer course. He doesn't need to but he could.

Here is the rub...Sean. I agreed to the change in Connor's schedule because it was the recommendation of the the teachers, the principal and it was what Connor was excited about. Connor didn't agree quickly. He thought about it for two days and weighed pros and cons before he agreed. His crew teacher is very impressed at how he thinks things through first. I can hear Sean now flipping out about a change. What's done is done. Connor had problem with attendance due to his sleep/depression issues. Main problem. He is in active therapy at school and with his own therapist (which was at my instigation, phone calls and convincing Connor this was needed) and so far is doing well. This has enabled him to be productive and he is engaged with working with his teachers and me to maintain himself and fix past problems. I still have a sinking feeling Sean will be pissed he wasn't consulted about the change before it happened. Maybe I should have said something. I dunno. Maybe if he hadn't threatened me I would have. He hasn't said anything to me about it since and he hasn't spoken to the teachers again or the social worker. Connor still isn't speaking to his dad and flat out told the teachers he didn't want his dad involved in any conferences or for them to speak to him without Connor's knowledge. I am glad things are improving for Connor. Even if it's just a week at a time. He has done a full week and is rewarding himself with some time with friends in town on Monday. This was a suggestion of the therapist. Some positive reinforcement. Then he is going to refocus on another full week. Isn't that the whole point? No matter how we get there? The fact Connor is getting back on track and is happy? It may not be enough for Sean I'm afraid. I have considered if it would be easier for Connor to get to school if he lived with his dad since he lives in town. This was a very, very hard thing to think about. I talked to Connor about it. He flat out refused. He said his dad was pressuring him to change schools to the one "the wife" teaches at. He didn't want to see her everyday or happen to have her as a teacher. He also said he knew there was no bed for him or room. He would miss all of us too much even if he fights with us sometimes. That place is just not home and never would be. I also had to think about the fact his dad wouldn't be taking him to therapy, wouldn't consider Connor's mental state or notice the signs that come and go. That is a huge factor to me. So we'll see. I am not trying to count a chicken before it's hatched but I don't think it would be smart not to know there is an egg bomb, waiting.